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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He has forgotten ...

129 replies

PurpleYoyo · 07/09/2016 11:31

My birthday that is!!! It is today! We are on a holiday with the kids and I understand that it's normal to completely detach from reality, forget what day/ date is etc.
I'm not known to be big on birthdays or to celebrate them properly but I like to be acknowledged. Aibu to be pissed off? Shall I just let it go and remind him tomorrow? He's completely clueless. What would you do?
Cake

OP posts:
Itrytoohard · 07/09/2016 11:33

Happy birthday! Wine Cake

ihatethecold · 07/09/2016 11:35

Id remind him otherwise you will stew on it all day.

DoristheNovice · 07/09/2016 11:35

Are you sure there isn't a surprise coming later on?

Happy birthdayFlowers

PhoebeGeebee · 07/09/2016 11:35

Why let it go and remind him tomorrow? If it's bothered you enough to write a post then you're clearly annoyed and telling him tomorrow will give him zero chance to do anything.

Why not say "have you forgotten it's my birthday? Shall we go for a nice meal tonight?"

I think it's shitty he forgot, but then I'm the kind of person who starts reminding DH three weeks beforehand!!

Pardonwhat · 07/09/2016 11:35

Ask if he fancies going somewhere nice for your birthday tea?

LazySusan11 · 07/09/2016 11:36

Happy Birthday! I'd ask him if he's taking you for a lovely dinner tonight and see if the penny drops!

PhoebeGeebee · 07/09/2016 11:36

Oh, and happy birthday!!!

ImperialBlether · 07/09/2016 11:36

Happy birthday!

How old are the children? Has everyone forgotten?

Can you say something like, "Where shall we go for my birthday lunch?"

80sWaistcoat · 07/09/2016 11:36

Yep, remind him and plan a meal out or something. No point stewing on it...

nennyrainbow · 07/09/2016 11:37

Happens to me every bloody year! Usually the kids end up reminding him. Funny how he never forgets his own though...
Happy birthday!

Planty18 · 07/09/2016 11:43

Happy birthday! Ask him whether he's planned anything special for tonight's meal? He should get the hint.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 07/09/2016 11:45

Happy Birthday! I would also ask him if he has planned anything nice for your birthday as you'd like to go for a nice meal.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 07/09/2016 11:45

On holiday I had no idea of the days tbh I set a calender reminder and alarm so we would remember to call our niece on her birthday!

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2016 11:45

Happy Birthday Thanks

Stop playing games though.

If Birthdays aren't that much of a big deal, it shouldn't be a problem to mention that he's forgotten.

NEmum · 07/09/2016 11:46

Just remind him now so he has a chance to make amends, happy birthday

CreamTeaFor4 · 07/09/2016 11:47

Ask him if he has organised dinner (him cooking or a meal out). If not, tell him you're booking the restaurant now.

Happy birthdayFlowers

guineapig1 · 07/09/2016 11:49

No point stewing about it - i would just say "shall i book restaurant x for this evening?"

Damselindestress · 07/09/2016 11:50

Happy Birthday! I can understand why you are annoyed. Holidays can be stressful and the change to his normal routine might have thrown him off with dates but I'd have expected him to take note when planning the holiday, which normally involves looking at a calendar, and make plans for a meal or something. And I am quite absent minded but luckily have never forgotten DH's birthday! Don't just let the day pass unmarked, that would be cutting off your nose to spite your face. There's still time to go for a nice meal as a family and if it's a tourist location probably somewhere nearby he could buy a nice pressie.

JaniceBattersby · 07/09/2016 11:57

"So, what have you planned for my birthday then?"

If he's really forgotten, that's pretty fucking awful, I think. We don't make a massive deal of birthdays but if my husband forgot I'd be really upset.

ProseccoBitch · 07/09/2016 11:58

I can see why you're annoyed but I doubt anyone except my mother would remind mine if I didn't remind them in the run up to it! Say something now rather than stewing about it. Happy birthday and I hope he had a surprise planned all along! Flowers Cake

ProseccoBitch · 07/09/2016 11:59

REMEMBER mine - doh!

daisychain01 · 07/09/2016 12:02

Does he have form for this OP? If this is the first time he has ever forgotten in your whole relationship then ffs cut him some slack, give him a hug and ask him to take you somewhere nice for the evening.

Otoh If he's a miserable thoughtless bugger who can't be bothered to have pre planned a treat knowing you were going to be away on your birthday then YANBU to get the arse at him and kick him into next week ( verbally at least Grin

Oysterbabe · 07/09/2016 12:03

I'd remind him, make him feel a bit bad about it and let him make it up to you.

daisychain01 · 07/09/2016 12:03

And extra portions of Cake for you !

BarbarianMum · 07/09/2016 12:05

Tell him! We did this to my mum once Blush and she didn't remind us til bedtime. We did make up for it the next day - I already had presents wrapped up in the suitcase but just totally lost track of the date.