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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He has forgotten ...

129 replies

PurpleYoyo · 07/09/2016 11:31

My birthday that is!!! It is today! We are on a holiday with the kids and I understand that it's normal to completely detach from reality, forget what day/ date is etc.
I'm not known to be big on birthdays or to celebrate them properly but I like to be acknowledged. Aibu to be pissed off? Shall I just let it go and remind him tomorrow? He's completely clueless. What would you do?
Cake

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/09/2016 13:15

Maybe he has lost track of the date, because you are all on holiday? Or I could just be clutching at straws.

Either way, I would mention it to him - as other posters have said, better than stewing all day.

Happy Birthday! CakeWine

JudyCoolibar · 07/09/2016 13:22

Can you casually introduce into the conversation the fact that it's 7th September and see if he joins the dots?

BastardGoDarkly · 07/09/2016 13:24

Happy birthday!!!

Tell the poor sod, it's obviously just holiday brain that's made him forget :)

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 07/09/2016 13:29

Happy Birthday Cake Wine

I've never understood how this happens irl though - thought it only happened in sitcoms.

Don't you talk about upcoming birthdays before the day itself?

candlesnotlights · 07/09/2016 13:40

Awe, I bet your kids will be gutted they forgot

Foslady · 07/09/2016 13:42

Happy birthday - why not start singing 'happy birthday to me!!'

Pettywoman · 07/09/2016 13:51

Be proactive. 'It's my birthday I want us to do this'. Don't stew on it, you'll spoil your day.

I don't bother much with birthday presents or surprises and neither does DH. Sometimes he'll give me his credit card and I'll buy something. What I do do is suggest outings or a meal.

Happy birthday.

Scribblegirl · 07/09/2016 14:13

Nah, I reckon if he's like my DP and your relationship is all good then half the joy will be in watching the slow cold realisation dawn on his face. I'd actually find this quite funny Grin. Mine is the loveliest but I can see him doing this if we were away and normal life were suspended!

I'd be finding excuses to mention the date or birthdays or any sort of related chat and keep watching. Though I like the idea of singing to yourself....

candlesnotlights · 07/09/2016 14:27

So....any news? Cake

rainbowstardrops · 07/09/2016 14:32

I would be pretty annoyed if he'd forgotten too but I'd have to say something!

rainbowstardrops · 07/09/2016 14:33

Forgot to say, 'Happy birthday!' FlowersCakeWine

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 07/09/2016 14:38

Of course you should remind him, then watch his face as he realises!

Most of the time threads similar to these irritate me as they go along the lines of:

OP realises that her DH has forgotten/made no effort for her birthday and is upset about it. Instead of telling him she's upset, she'll buy herself a present or have a nice day with the kids instead because that'll learn him. Only it won't and for some reason talking to him about what a shit he is isn't a solution. Instead the OP will just be upset in silence. And next year surprisingly the same thing happens.

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 07/09/2016 14:39

Forgot to say happy birthday! Cake

M0nstersinthecl0set · 07/09/2016 14:39

Happy birthday! I can totally see my kids DH forgetting if we were away. We do tend to have to check the date/ day once we're away.

Have a great day!

Buzzardbird · 07/09/2016 14:41

Happy Birthday, just tell him. He will feel really bad tomorrow if you don't.

liz70 · 07/09/2016 14:52

Happy Birthday. Flowers

Thank you for making me feel slightly better. It was my birthday yesterday.
After running around after other people, taking DD2 to an orthodontist's appointment, and looking after DD3 while DH had an evening out, when he returned home at 9 p.m. I was presented with my birthday gift. A small bag of Thornton's chocolates. Unwrapped. Yes, that's how much I'm valued. Hmm (Btw we have no mortgage, and 15k in savings, so hardly impoverished).

Now, I wasn't expecting a diamond bracelet, or a designer handbag. Which is just as well, really. Or maybe I'm just a grabby, entitled bitch. Sad

Women with tight arsed husbands, unite...

whattodowiththepoo · 07/09/2016 14:54

Get yourself a birthday cake + party hat.
Eat entire cake on your own until they notice.

george1020 · 07/09/2016 14:54

I want to know if he has remembered yet or you have asked him! Bit of a crap thing to do but maybe a little bit forgivable because of holiday stress?

Anyway Cake & Wine

FlowersHappy Birthday to youFlowers

Benedikte2 · 07/09/2016 14:56

Ask him in a puzzled way what the date is today and see him work it out.

Shakey15000 · 07/09/2016 14:57

Ah happy birthday. I'd film him as it dawns.

Sillyshell · 07/09/2016 15:43

Happy Birthday, it's my birthday today too! Hopefully he will remember soon, I'm sure it's just being out of a routine and he's probably thinks it's tomorrow or something :)

Original poster
PurpleYoyo · 07/09/2016 15:45

There is no surprise I'm sure. He's absolutely clueless and I have been rather entertained all day. Dropped a few hints like suggesting dinner but he said we could go another day as kids seem tired. I'm not upset or stewing about it. Now I need a plan how to reveal it all to him. I like the idea of singing to myself filmed for priceless wtf reaction. Other suggestions welcome.

OP posts:
SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 07/09/2016 15:56

Assuming that this is all occurring because he has lost track of the day whilst on holiday and in an otherwise happy and loving marriage, I would drop hints until he realises (but don't leave it so late that you can't get a dinner reservation anywhere nice!) He will probably feel terrible though so don't be too cruel. I like the idea of humming happy birthday to yourself. If the kids are old enough and can be trusted not to give the game away get them in on it too and get them to hum along. Or drop references to the date into general conversation. "When does this milk expire? Oh! The 7th, that's today!"

And happy birthday OP!

Mynestisfullofempty · 07/09/2016 16:01

Don't make him feel bad about it when you tell him/drop hints though. He's only human.

NerrSnerr · 07/09/2016 16:03

I would just tell him, but to be honest I would have mentioned it earlier in the holiday as I would have said I would like to go to 'x restaurant' for lunch or tea ton my birthday as its my favourite.