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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect to be met at the station?

201 replies

JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:26

I'm on a weekend away with a friend.

Friend flew out on Thursday. I flew here myself tonight (plus a 2hour train journey). I texted her when I was about 30 minutes out to ask where I was going to meet her and she said to make my way to the hotel. I got lost and was trying to find my bearings and all I got was cross texts telling me to read the fucking map.

So called friend has now taken herself off to bed after refusing to speak all through dinner. I'm sitting in the hotel bar fucking fuming.

OP posts:
DanniiMinogue · 02/09/2016 22:32

So had you made a previous arrangement to meet up at the station? Is the hotel far from the station? Does she have the use of a (hire) car? Could you have taken a cab from the station?

Sorry you're annoyed, it doesn't sound like a promising start to the weekend - I guess you either have to try and get to her communicate or make your own plans for the next day at least so as not to waste your time there.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:34

No previous arrangements. I assumed she would be meeting me at the station tbh. It's about a half an hour walk, once I worked out where I was.

OP posts:
DailyFaily · 02/09/2016 22:34

YABU to expect to be met at the station, presumably your friend managed it so she probably assumed you'd manage the same.

She is BU to not speak to you through dinner and strop off to bed - not sure why she would have been so upset about you getting lost. How good friends are you and is there a history of her being like this? Seems like you've both made a bit of a drama out of nothing.

LindyHemming · 02/09/2016 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeddaGarbled · 02/09/2016 22:35

Yes, YABU. Your friend got herself to the hotel independently when she arrived, presumably with the same 2 hour train journey and then located the hotel all by herself. Why were you expecting her to come out and look after you?

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:36

I thought she'd meet me because she's been staying at the hotel for a day and knows where it is. I would have gone to meet her if it had been the other way about Confused

OP posts:
BigMamaFratelli · 02/09/2016 22:36

Your friend is acting like a tit by sulking but YABU I'm afraid. If you were visiting someone in their home city you might expect to be met at the station. But in this situation I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect you to make your own way to the hotel.

OliveOrTwist · 02/09/2016 22:37

YABU. Why didn't you get in a taxi?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 02/09/2016 22:38

I'd have got a cab tbh.

Sirzy · 02/09/2016 22:38

Could you not have just got a taxi?

DanniiMinogue · 02/09/2016 22:39

Thanks for the detail. I've been thinking what I'd do, I honestly wouldn't expect to be met. I'd probably take a taxi if it was late/or had heavy bags, otherwise I'd print off a map before leaving the UK.

FuzzyWizard · 02/09/2016 22:39

I think YABU. There's no reason for her to spend an hour walking for the sake of you not having to check google maps. Sorry you aren't having a nice break though.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:39

It was a nice night and I thought I was going in the right direction, until I realised I wasn't!

OP posts:
MauledbytheTigers · 02/09/2016 22:39

No, sorry OP but yes if you were visiting her for the weekend and she lived there I'd agree it's not unreasonable to expect to be met but as this is neutral ground and she did the same journey yesterday can't think why you'd expect to be met. Presumably she wants to enjoy her weekend away not traipse to and from the station again when she was only there yesterday.

Think you may want to go smooth things over...won't be much of a weekend away otherwise

Gardenbirds123 · 02/09/2016 22:40

YABU

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:40

I genuinely would go and get a friend who was coming later. Huh.

Thanks.

OP posts:
LifeInJeneral · 02/09/2016 22:43

I agree that YABU to expect her to meet you, that would be an hours round trip minimum for her (assuming no delays that would leave her standing around on her own). You are asking her to either pay for an unnecessary taxi to meet you or for her to do an unfamiliar half hour walk alone to meet you. If it was me and I knew it was about half an hour walk in a new place I'd definitely get a taxi, much easier for everyone. I think you either need to both apologise to clear the air or try to laugh it off.

Stillunexpected · 02/09/2016 22:44

So friend got herself there and to the hotel, you arrive and expect to be met, then instead of being sensible and getting a cab decide to wander off in an unknown city, get lost and somehow this is her fault?!

Xocaraic · 02/09/2016 22:47

Yes, YABU. There were no plans to meet at the station. I would have thought, as your friend did, that you would rendezvous at the hotel.
He or she must be dreadfully cross with you if you are being sent to Coventry

MirriVan · 02/09/2016 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MargoReadbetter · 02/09/2016 22:48

I think YABU. If it was a date I'd expect more keenness but from a regular friend, no.

Runningupthathill82 · 02/09/2016 22:50

Sorry, you sound like hard work. You expect to be met at the station - which would involve your mate taking an hour out if her evening - and then text her constantly when you can't read a map?

Is this a reverse? If not I'd apologise, hope she gets over her strop, and get stuck into the Wine together.

user1471495191 · 02/09/2016 22:50

When I had a similar situation, I just met my friends at the hotel once I arrived. Never crossed my mind they might come to meet me.

SquirrelPaws · 02/09/2016 22:50

I disagree with the majority here. I'd meet a friend in that situation and I should think a good enough friend to be going on holiday with would expect to meet me.

Huldra · 02/09/2016 22:50

Taxi, or ask someone?

If all you got was cross texts telling you to read the fucking map, then you must have sent her quite a few helples texts?
Seeing as you both flew in I'm guessing neither of you are local and she couldn't have helped you anyway.
Why would she have met you at the station? You both fly in on different days, you both make your way to the station, then the hotel. Unless the station is a 10 min walk from the hotel it's an ask to expect her to meet you there.

Shame she refused to speak through dinner but were you hard work before?

I speak as someone who gets lost very easily, which is a pita as I like hill walking Grin