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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect to be met at the station?

201 replies

JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:26

I'm on a weekend away with a friend.

Friend flew out on Thursday. I flew here myself tonight (plus a 2hour train journey). I texted her when I was about 30 minutes out to ask where I was going to meet her and she said to make my way to the hotel. I got lost and was trying to find my bearings and all I got was cross texts telling me to read the fucking map.

So called friend has now taken herself off to bed after refusing to speak all through dinner. I'm sitting in the hotel bar fucking fuming.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/09/2016 23:27

Ridiculous comment whattodo.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:27

How long did you take to get there and how long should it have taken?

About fifty minutes, she said it took her thirty.

OP posts:
Queenbean · 02/09/2016 23:30

I have a friend like this and it drives me bloody potty. I arrange absolutely everything and if I leave anything to her she manages to royally fuck it up, all under this "oh, but you know I'm so crap with this sort of stuff, woe is me" type way. Ie, booking a restaurant for the wrong day / making a hotel reservation without getting any confirmation and not calling up to check.

This is a classic thing shed do - I would make my way to the hotel by myself and then she'd throw this big drama about just getting to the hotel, with constant text updates and being very upset that I haven't helped her out in some way. It is utterly exhausting and like being with an 8 year old. A useless one.

Is this what your friendship is like? Who organised the weekend and booked the hotel etc?

Why didn't you check how to get to the hotel before and print out a map and directions?

YelloDraw · 02/09/2016 23:30

OP has already said thanks for the other point of view and apologised to friend. How reasonable. It's only page 3!

Hope you have a nice weekend OP.

I think there are two types of people, those who meet people at train stations/airports and those who don't. And those who don't also don't expect to be met. I'm in that camp. One of my friends would always try to come meet you - it's fine, I'll get a taxi! - bus she also expects to be met.

pictish · 02/09/2016 23:31

That's pure conjecture I know. You might not have been pissy at all.

Other thoughts...

  1. She wouldn't know how to guide you there. That's why she told you to look at the fucking map.
  1. As an asides, I was recently trying to give directions to someone who refused to understand them. I found it very irritating. I told her to look at a fucking map.

Don't know why she's still cross now though.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/09/2016 23:32

madginger I seem to Have missed that. In any case, it's not relevant. The op didn't go to her friends town, they are both in a new place. The friend shouldn't have to pick her up in a place she doesn't know well herself.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:32

Why didn't you check how to get to the hotel before and print out a map and directions?

I assumed I would be met and I also always have my phone to use for directions anyway.

Our friendship is normally really good and booking things is normally done 50/50. My friend arranged this holiday but I have arranged others.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/09/2016 23:33

But how late were you op? How many texts did you send?

Queenbean · 02/09/2016 23:37

Then it sounds like your friend is utterly fed up with you assuming that she will be there to pick up the pieces when you make a mistake or get lost

It's probably been brewing for months / years and she has reached boiling point with your uselessness

pictish · 02/09/2016 23:38

Well if she's a good friend you ought to clear the air. What's up with you?

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:38

I was 20 minutes late.

I texted her 30 minutes before arriving asking about meeting. She said to meet at the hotel and told me that the hotel was along X street and then turn on Y, and that it was really lovely. I texted her again as I left the station to tell her I'd see her soon.

She said that was fine and she and found a nice place for dinner, blah blah blah.

I said 'Crap, think I've overshot Y street.'

She told me about a landmark, to which I replied 'Definitely lost, going to ask for help'.

And then I got the shitty read the fucking map text!

OP posts:
Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:38

I have already texted her to apologise, pictish.

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 02/09/2016 23:39

"Google maps on your phone?"

I don't use roaming on my phone when I'm abroad. It costs ££££££££££££.

However, in the OP's shoes I would have printed off directions from google map before setting off anyway.

Topseyt · 02/09/2016 23:40

OP's thread title suggests that she was actually "expecting" to be met at the station. Why, I don't know.

A cab would have solved the whole problem.

thinkingthingsover · 02/09/2016 23:42

Not directly relevant but I travel a lot and I try not to rely on my phone. It's not unusual for the battery to run down after a day's travel, or to have trouble connecting to an overseas network, or to fail to run a map app (maybe I've got a crap phone). I really think a printed map/directions (in plastic wallet if rain is likely) is an essential. Also saves waving a phone around in possibly dodgy locales.

Sorry your holiday has started off badly. It's an unfortunate misunderstanding; YWBU but now your friend is BU. It does sound as though she has over-reacted massively - or has some stress you don't know about. Hopefully the air will be cleared over breakfast. Be prepared with efficient suggestions for the day's activities - pull your weight and if she's still sulky, ditch her and have some fun by yourself.

Queenbean · 02/09/2016 23:42

So friend organises whole weekend, books hotel, finds somewhere for dinner, texts you with meeting place and rough directions and the only thing you have to do is actually turn up.

Then you manage to get lost, tell her you're lost, are pissed off about not being met, then finally turn up late because you were too disorganised to even check a map or get a cab.

I'd have been really annoyed if i was her. She's feeling like you're taking advantage of her.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/09/2016 23:45

I hope she comes round by morning!

I do agree with others you were BU originally, and I can see how it might make her feel across. I have no sense of direction at all, and I also know that there's nothing more annoying than going on holiday only to find other people are treating you as a free resource.

But, she must like you or she wouldn't have gone on holiday with you. I reckon tomorrow, you need to apologise for pestering her, and turn up with something useful to make up for it.

bluebeck · 02/09/2016 23:48

I think YABU not to have just got a taxi, and to expect your friend to meet you.

However, it does sound like she is being a proper mardy bitch for sulking. Are you sure nothing else happened? I can't imagine why she would be so cross in this situation? You were 20 mins later than you intended, it seems really odd.

pictish · 02/09/2016 23:52

Oh I meant say "What's up with you?" to her...not that I was asking what's up with you.

Anyway...it'll blow over. She's met you in the middle by carrying it on, so you're eaksy peaksy.

It'll be ok.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:54

It's annoying me.

FFS, she knows I'm always punctual. I am not a late person. I don't do well with directions but she said it was an easy walk and I didn't need to take a cab!

OP posts:
pictish · 02/09/2016 23:56

Stop stressing over it. It's her beef now.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/09/2016 23:57

Confused Why is that annoying you?

Just tell her you tried not to be late and that it was a mistake you won't make again.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:57

I suppose. I better head off to bed- fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 02/09/2016 23:59

i think op gtting a hard time

the friend said no need for a cab just walk then gets shitty when someone gets lost

im crap with maps if it says one direction i end up going the other way

no need to get arsy and carry it on

maddening · 02/09/2016 23:59

just use google maps on your phone, pop the name of the hotel in and it takes you straight to the door.