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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect to be met at the station?

201 replies

JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 22:26

I'm on a weekend away with a friend.

Friend flew out on Thursday. I flew here myself tonight (plus a 2hour train journey). I texted her when I was about 30 minutes out to ask where I was going to meet her and she said to make my way to the hotel. I got lost and was trying to find my bearings and all I got was cross texts telling me to read the fucking map.

So called friend has now taken herself off to bed after refusing to speak all through dinner. I'm sitting in the hotel bar fucking fuming.

OP posts:
LuchiMangsho · 02/09/2016 23:06

People get late. It happens. It's not like you had planned to meet at a particular time or whatever. You weren't late for a date or meeting. My husband got off a flight at 7 am. Took him 40 mins longer to get home. I just thought 'must be having a coffee before he gets on the Tube' or 'the Picaddilly Line must be doing its thing'. Didn't feel the need to text or pester him. And I am married to him!

LindyHemming · 02/09/2016 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/09/2016 23:08

Nothing irritates me more than people thinking I need to know their every move. Trying to do something and texts pinging through is irritating as shit. I wonder whether you were slightly more dramatic than you're letting on and that's why she was pissed.

Huldra · 02/09/2016 23:09

Maybe it's one of thosesituations where don't dwell on who should have done what. Tomorrow get up apologise for getting lost, make a self depreciating joke about it, smile and say first round is on me. Or the non alcohol realated equivalent.

Topseyt · 02/09/2016 23:10

Sorry, but I think you are being unreasonable and perhaps a bit needy.

I always get a taxi if I arrive somewhere I don't know, especially if I have luggage. It saves so much hassle.

MagikarpetRide · 02/09/2016 23:12

Personally I'd have met you at the station. But if I hadn't I would have gotten huffy with you for getting lost either. Yabu for expecting her to meet you but she is being far worse for the strop.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:12

I've texted her to apologise and told her that I will be having breakfast at 9.30 if she'd like to meet me.

We'll see. I genuinely thought she was BU so thanks for opinions :)

OP posts:
madgingermunchkin · 02/09/2016 23:14

Because if you invite someone somewhere (as the OP's friend did) it's polite to meet them? Not only that, but if you're looking forward to seeing them, why wouldn't you wander down and meet them?

Hariasa · 02/09/2016 23:15

I get lost easily. I am totally lacking in any sense of direction.

However as a result in your situation I would have:

Made advance plans for definite meeting point.
Printed off a map and figured out route in advance.
Booked a cab/picked one up from rank.

And if I chose to walk and did in fact get lost I'd ask for help, work out route/arrange a taxi and then text friend with apologies and new eta.

I can't imagine why your friend is so annoyed unless:

You complained about not being met

You sent helpless "rescue me" texts.

You make a habit of this.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/09/2016 23:17

Ummmmmm, the friend didn't invite her somewhere madginger, they are both on a trip away from home.

Stopyourhavering · 02/09/2016 23:17

How old are you?..... I'd have got a taxi tbh!.... Hope you enjoy your weekend

Sunbeam18 · 02/09/2016 23:18

Why didn't you either use your phone map thing which you can't go wrong with or else get in a cab when you realised you were lost?

allsfairinlove · 02/09/2016 23:19

is falling out a part of your friendship pattern?

I'm on the fence with this one TBH.

I sort of sense a bit of passive aggression on the OP's part about not being met at the station, at the same time a bit of aggression on the friend's reaction of the situ.

But take what I say with a grain of salt as there really isn't enough information to go by in the OP

Duck90 · 02/09/2016 23:19

Why have you fallen out though? It all sounds horribly fraught. It is only a weekend away, is this how you normally interact with each other.?

greenfolder · 02/09/2016 23:21

For heavens sake.she got there on her own. If you know you have no sense of direction you get a cab regardless of whether she was OK or not.

JudyCoolibar · 02/09/2016 23:22

Stations tend to be in the more boring part of towns. If, say, I was staying in London in a hotel half an hour away from King's Cross Station, I wouldn't be enthralled about the prospect of walking there and back again.

thinkingthingsover · 02/09/2016 23:22

I might have gone to meet a friend. If it was nice weather, if it was a nice walk, if I wasn't tired after the day's activities, if I felt like it... TBH I'd probably have done it, but I wouldn't see it as a duty. If I'd paid for an extra day in a destination, I'd have plans and not be keen to spend an hour or more walking to and from the station again, and hanging around at a city railway station. And any of my friends would have insisted 'Oh no, you don't need to, please don't, I can find the way'.

I always arrive in a new place with a printed out map, directions to my hotel and the hotel's phone number. Basic preparedness, even if you're expecting to be met. If I were lost I'd call the hotel to give directions and perhaps ask them to inform my friend.

If I were your friend I might have interpreted your multiple 'updates' as attempts to make me feel bad for not meeting you. This might make me feel peeved, though I think her not speaking to you is very unfriendly.

Hope you both feel better tomorrow. Travelling is stressful and it's easy to get tetchy.

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:23

is falling out a part of your friendship pattern?

No.

Why have you fallen out though?

I don't know- I arrived at the hotel and she was in a total funk, refused to speak all through dinner and then flounced off to bed.

OP posts:
JudyCoolibar · 02/09/2016 23:23

I'm wondering if there was more to this. What did she say when you finally turned up? Did you ask her why she hadn't met you?

pictish · 02/09/2016 23:24

Ywbu as you now know. I'm another who pulled the Confused face at you expecting to be met at the station. It wouldn't have occurred to me to come and meet you. If you have been pissy at her because you got lost, you do owe her that apology. She's possibly thinking you're going to be hard work.

Hope you can pull it out of the bag OP. Sort it and enjoy your weekend.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/09/2016 23:24

How long did you take to get there and how long should it have taken?

whattodowiththepoo · 02/09/2016 23:25

Yabu. Grow up and deal with the not so perfect life you have.

GeneralBobbit · 02/09/2016 23:25

Refused to speak through dinner means she's a total twat

I'd fuck off if I were you. Different hotel, see the city on my own, or come home.

I'd never talk to the silly fucker again.

madgingermunchkin · 02/09/2016 23:26

Erm, the OP stated in one of her later posts that the friend had invited her.....

Original poster
JudyGellar · 02/09/2016 23:26

What did she say when you finally turned up? Did you ask her why she hadn't met you?

She was clearly in a bad mood. I asked if she was okay and she just said she was fine. I kept trying to make conversation and she didn't answer.

I didn't ask why she hadn't met me.

OP posts: