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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm your daddy

209 replies

Boundaries · 29/08/2016 14:50

I have n/c for this.

AIBU to think that an adult man saying "I'm your daddy/who's your daddy/tell my I'm your daddy" during sex is just downright weird?

Blush Sad Hmm

OP posts:
Sunshineonacloudyday · 31/08/2016 01:19

Does he call you sexy mama. Are you British I am and I do find that weird especially after being called mummy all day by the children and then have a grown man call me mama it takes the fucking piss.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 31/08/2016 01:22

Call someone daddy in the moment is not attractive I don't get on with my daddy so why should I call anyone else daddy. Op are you going t see him again.

WyfOfBathe · 31/08/2016 01:41

Ewww, I wouldn't want to think of my "daddy" during sex... and I sure as hell hope DH isn't thinking about his daughter.

It's like those sexy schoolgirl outfits. I mean, I'm a teacher... no way would I want to think of my students during sex Shock and I don't like the idea that others would think of "my kids" that way.

BlueFolly · 31/08/2016 01:49

He seems a bit thick if he didn't understand your initial text. Better luck next time!

BlueFolly · 31/08/2016 01:50

At least you didn't waste loads of time getting to know him before discovering this Grin

RJnomore1 · 31/08/2016 02:05

I always thought it was "who's THE daddy" not your daddy, which is naff and crap but slightly less disturbing, and I thought it was a reference to the daddy Mac/og culture.

I think if I heard the words coming out the mouth of a UK man I'd probably buckle with laughter. I'm Scottish and I'm just imaging it in a Glasgow accent now. Because of the "the" thing, it's always implied someone who thinks they're "da bomb". The kinda guy who would shout "BOOM" when they came because he had no concept of - well - anything really.

I'm not thinking of it in a BDSM context...

rockyroad3 · 31/08/2016 07:17

Speaking of age play there was a documentary (possibly C4) about it and one of the couples featured was a man and his partner, who was about 20 years his junior. Anyway he was the creepiest, most perverted man I had ever seen, even the way he spoke sent shivers down my spine. He built this massive playpen for her in the basement, used to dress her and put her hair into pigtails etc. She would speak to him in a baby voice. She occasionally wanted to have a "normal" day and go out with friends and he said how upset and disappointed it made him feel.

rockyroad3 · 31/08/2016 07:20

It was called The 15 Stone Babies and it was C4.

L666TTY · 31/08/2016 08:44

Maybe it's an age thing I'm late 30's and this would make me think more I'm the boss as it was a popular thing to say some 20 years ago. So wouldn't put me off in the fact that it was peverted but would make me run a mile because he hadn't moved on in 20 years and would be stuck in his ways!! Lucky escape Boundries NEXT!

SandyY2K · 31/08/2016 08:50

It's more a 'whose in charge here in the bed thing'. An Americanism. I think an English person saying it would sound weird.

SandyY2K · 31/08/2016 08:58

How can this be related to paedophilia when he's with a grown adult? I'm suprised people are saying that. It isn't a literal meaning.

Some men have a baby fetish. Where they wear giant nappies and suck a dummy. They go to a 'Mummy' the experience.

Some men and women have an adult nursing relationship. Where she breastfeeds him on a daily basis.

iloveeverykindofcat · 31/08/2016 09:42

*Some men have a baby fetish. Where they wear giant nappies and suck a dummy. They go to a 'Mummy' the experience.

Some men and women have an adult nursing relationship. Where she breastfeeds him on a daily basis.*

You know when I said above I wasn't judging anyone's kink?

I take it back.

BananaThePoet · 31/08/2016 15:45

I agree with Vestal Virgin. The most scary warning bells going off is that you told him you wouldn't have sex - he heard you say that and then took advantage of your reduced inhibitions after drinking to have sex anyway.

The second scary warning bell is that after your message he is still refusing to accept your decision and trying to be like a double glazing salesman with his foot in the door to persuade you otherwise.

I'd steer clear. This guy has started off not respecting your boundaries and I can't see anything getting better from here on in.

Original poster
Boundaries · 31/08/2016 19:29

To be honest Banana I didn't respect my own boundaries. Nor did he. Hence my n/c for this thread.

I won't be seeing him again.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 31/08/2016 21:11

Hmm that he'd come back and ask why no repeat performance, when you'd just explained why no repeat performance.

He deserves dumping for being that dense alone! Good move Boundaries.

AceVtura · 31/08/2016 21:16

It's not "an American thing" Daddy/little and Mummy/little dynamics are actually a lifestyle for some people. It has nothing to do with invest or them wanting to pretend to be your parent it's about taking a very active caregiver role in a relationship. It's is the flip side to someone being a little or a middle in which someone either regresses in age or seeks the comfort of child like behaviours, possessions and pass times. People who find it sick are people who don't understand it and are unwilling to learn about it without passing judgement.
It may not be your kink but it's unfair to judge others as sick or weird just because you don't enjoy it, understand it or relate to it.

CrushedCan · 31/08/2016 21:25

In a relationship and you guys get it - YES

First few times and barely know each other - NO

ThisUserNameIsAlreadyTaken · 31/08/2016 21:26

Oh Christ, I know someone who's BF says this, it creeped me the hell out when she told me, there's worse (imo) but she still with him...., Eurgh.

Italiangreyhound · 31/08/2016 21:29

Creepy McCreeperson weird.

7Days · 31/08/2016 21:46

I'm not one bit afraid of judging other people's 'kinks'.

Some things are just icky, for want of a better word. They say something about a person. Sometimes something disturbing. And it's not negated just because it's a sexual thing.

So no, get away from me, creep.

SandyY2K · 31/08/2016 22:19

There is no reason to use "daddy" in a sexual context. Unless you get off on incest. Sorry, but that's just how it is.

That's just not true. It's not how it is, it's how you see it and it's got absolutely nothing to do with incest or paedophiles.

words have different meanings, other than what you may know them as, depending on who says it and the context.

For example:

Sick can mean something is really good.
Bad can mean good.
Dope can mean great or cool.

If the guy was interested in incest or paedophila, he wouldn't have been with a grown woman like the OP.

merville · 31/08/2016 22:22

This is common in porn and that may be where he got it from.

To my understanding it is not actually related to incestuous/fetishy stuff ...
it means "who's in charge", "who's the boss", that sort of thing.
So it's more of a dominance thing that's supposed to be sexy. Perhas he was with someone before who into it (?)

JollyHockeyGits · 31/08/2016 22:24

Yuk. LTB.

WizardOfToss · 31/08/2016 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

merville · 31/08/2016 22:28

And yes it's very American. And there's a lot of it in black and hispanic culture .. hence Shakira has a song with Pitbull where most of the lyrics begin with Oh yeah Papi ...
The Mami thing is slightly different .. usually just referring to the fact that most woman are/were mothers by a young age in that culture .. etc. or just a parallel thing to calling the man 'papi'.