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AIBU?

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Original poster

14 years working in a dept and not even a cheap bunch of flowers

207 replies

tupperwareAARGGH · 26/08/2016 11:27

Massively outing myself here but....

I have just left a department that I worked in for 14 years and wasn't even given a cheap bunch of flowers. 14 years!!!

I've contributed to many peoples leaving presents and I didn't even get a card from the department either. I did get a card from the team I worked with last night but nothing from the whole department.

Its made me feel very sad and upset when I know I shouldn't let it get to me and YES, YES I know I should never expect people to buy me something but nothing, nothing after such a long time.

I'm being unreasonable to be upset by this aren't I??

OP posts:
HappyAxolotl · 27/08/2016 23:01

I'm a bit bemused at the whole-office semi-official ta-dah for every birthday, pregnancy, engagement, wedding, spectacularly loud fart... In ours, it's your work friends who organise anything like that. Only leaving is a whole office thing at mine. Even then it's a card circulated, a kitty for a gift and the company pays for a night's drinks. How do some workplaces get any work done?

PootlewasthebestFlump · 27/08/2016 23:36

I guessed NHS too - I work for a Trust and was usually the person in my locality team to buy gifts (leaving gifts - high turnover of staff!)

Gradually our team whittled down and when I left my poor, lovely junior sorted my gift. She left 6 months after me and I dread to think who organised her leaving gift.

One things for sure - managers take no responsibility for or interest in leaving gifts of any kind. And at times when I was sick, got married, left teams and adopted a child, at no point did a manager so much as wish me well or sign a card. Speaks volumes.

Icallbullshit3 · 27/08/2016 23:59

I had a feeling it was the NHS before you confirmed. Same happened to me. Thing with the department I worked for though was unless you lived in each others pockets and went out drinking every weekend you were pretty much left out of everything... I have no interest in getting bladdered every weekend so it wasnt really a surprise for me.

BoneyBackJefferson · 28/08/2016 00:08

After years of giving to others for alsorts of things (in several places being told the amount), I have never had anything except cheap cards.

So unless they are a close colleague I give nothing.

I have become jaded by the clique bullshit that surrounds the whole process.

miserablesod · 28/08/2016 06:27

That is really shitty. I was a student on placement with a local authority for 6 months, when i finishe my placement they got me flowers and a card, i was shocked. To work somewhere for 14 years and not even receive a card is harsh.

SabineUndine · 28/08/2016 06:41

We've had massive staff turnover where I work so although I've been there a long time I don't expect to get much send off. I realised this some years ago and stopped putting money in leaving collections unless it was someone I really liked.

Pipistrelle40 · 28/08/2016 06:51

My line manager years ago was a complete cunt and a bully. When she went on extended sick leave and had an operation I refused to organise a card or present. No one else could be arsed to so she got zilch.

I left several months later and was given a massive send off. She was made redundant within the year and I heard walked the offices snivelling and saying how unfair life was, no leaving do or present for her. This was her second time of redundancy and she followed it up with a third time.

Having said that OP you don't deserve such treatment. You are better than them all.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 28/08/2016 08:32

Kind of with Happy on this. I work for a large organisation and get a bit fed up when I get badgered every week to throw some money in an envelope or sign 'all the best' in some card for someone I don't know or even thought was a bit of a twat.

Truth is I have a handful of work friends, people I actually meet outside the office, the rest are just people I share a room with for several hours a day. Outside of work is where my best mates are, apart from the afore mentioned handful of work colleagues I keep my social and work lives completely separate! When I leave I am more then happy to shake a few hands and move on without cakes, cards, speeches, or fanfare.

YouCanButImNot · 28/08/2016 09:11

Sorry they've made you feel crap. I had this also, 8 years in the same department and not even a good bye when I left. Other people get gifts, cards and parties. I'd left not long before the kids xmas party so went to that with dc and barely anyone spoke to me. I felt absolutely dreadful but on speaking to people who have also left I'm not the only one to be treated like this. However, now I work with a fabulous group who are lovely and got unexpectedly spoilt on my birthday. Flowers for you.

Ffssmithy · 28/08/2016 09:13

Mine was NHS too.

bikerlou · 28/08/2016 09:14

They are cheapskate bastards...seriously, I'd be fuming if that was me.

tava63 · 31/08/2016 17:23

Sorry that you experienced this but I just wanted to thank you for doing an incredibly difficult job for 14 years and helping so many people - you are a hero.

Original poster
tupperwareAARGGH · 03/09/2016 22:11

thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
tupperwareAARGGH · 11/09/2016 11:47

OMG you couldn't make this up! I've just been added to a Facebook group to contribute to someone's leaving present Shock

I've left the sodding department and didn't get anything and now they are asking me to still contribute towards someone else's! Fucking hell!

OP posts:
ASheepInWolfsClothing · 11/09/2016 11:53

Unreal!! I'd have to sit on my hands if it were me! In fact , no! I would not sit on my hands op, I would send whoever added you to the group a message pointing out the fact that you don't work there anymore and it's in bad taste that they would like you to contribute to something when they couldn't be bothered to do the same for you Angry I'm so cross for you op!

Original poster
tupperwareAARGGH · 11/09/2016 12:05

My lodger is gobsmacked that I haven't replied and just calmly removed myself from the group without writing anything.

I like both the person who invited me and the person leaving. If it was someone I didn't particularly like I'd have said something.

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 11/09/2016 12:14

Wow op that is awful behaviour!! Would the person that created this new group have seen your post about not getting a card?

I would have had to say something if it were me!

AnthonyPandy · 11/09/2016 13:47

Hmm. Can you write on someone's page (not privately) that you are sorry you left the group but you were quite upset as you worked there for 14 yrs etc etc and tag in one or two others? See how they respond on their public page? What they did was shameful and I don't see anything wrong in pointing that out in a public way.

Foslady · 11/09/2016 13:52

AnthonyPandy's idea is the root I'd take too - let them know why otherwise they might think you're not bothered about any of them now you've left and if there was a collection what the hell happened to it

Foslady · 11/09/2016 13:52

Root? Route!

lazyarse123 · 11/09/2016 14:09

Feel for you op it's a horrible feeling, but it's obviously them and not you. I work with about 16 people and it's fallen to me to do collections (we only do big birthday and leavings). I happened to be on holiday for someones 21st but arranged for someone else to do it. Luckily I called into work during my holiday and it hadn't been done so between us we managed to cobble something together. I asked the colleague who I had asked to do it and she said "oh she didn't put in for mine so I didn't bother" I told her that she had in fact contributed but had forgotten to sign card. I really don't understand how people can be so mean and uncaring. Luckily the rest of us are not like this bitch.

Original poster
tupperwareAARGGH · 12/09/2016 01:20

Yes person who created group saw my post about how hurtful it was to not get a card blah blah and even sent me a private message saying how sorry she was that no one had bothered.

I mean who asks people who have left to contribute to peoples leaving presents anyway, let alone when the person that has left got fuck all! Madness!

OP posts:
MalcolmTuckersEyebrows · 12/09/2016 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lalalonglegs · 12/09/2016 19:20

Truly a jaw-floor moment. I cannot believe their insensitivity. Flowers

Mughalswife · 12/09/2016 19:55

I feel for you OP. I once worked for a now defunct retailer for seven years and when I left got absolutely nothing. I was really shocked and upset as over the seven years I had contributed to endless leaving cards, presents and leaving dos. I don't think I'm particularly horrible - I suspect that the reason was that the female manager who usually organised these things was off that day. I mentioned it after I left when I had to email head office, but of course they said it's down to individuals, nothing to do with company policy. Personally I think there should be company policy on this. If you give money to leaving collections you are contributing to the life of the workplace and it's totally unfair not to get similar treatment when you leave.

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