14 years working in a dept and not even a cheap bunch of flowers

[tupperwareAARGGH]

Massively outing myself here but....

I have just left a department that I worked in for 14 years and wasn't even given a cheap bunch of flowers. 14 years!!!

I've contributed to many peoples leaving presents and I didn't even get a card from the department either. I did get a card from the team I worked with last night but nothing from the whole department.

Its made me feel very sad and upset when I know I shouldn't let it get to me and YES, YES I know I should never expect people to buy me something but nothing, nothing after such a long time.

I'm being unreasonable to be upset by this aren't I??

[JellyBelli]

Each workplace should sort out a policy instead of leaving it to chance.

[tupperwareAARGGH]

I know its only work and they don't give a shit clearly but working frontline in an extremely busy A and E department means we see and deal with a lot of shit so our work relationships are more than you would probably have in an office based job.

[tupperwareAARGGH]

I'm definitely not an asshole. I have friends and people say how much they like working with me.

[Iflyaway]

Fuck that.

I got taken out for dinner with 3 lovely colleagues after only a year in when I left. Paid for by the company. Oh, and a gift too from them.

But sorry if that makes you feel worse.

Just be glad you have left such stooges behind you.

[Waterlemon]

Oh op! It's not nice at all!

I had something similar happen after 10 years. Except I was presented with s bunch of tesco flowers that someone was sent out to buy minutes before I finished!! When they had remembered itvwas my last day.

I stuck a photo of the flowers on FB with a sarcastic status tagged them all then a few days later deleted them all! 'Twas very cathartic!!'

[whirlygirly]

Aw op, I'm really sorry. I'm not surprised it stung.

I've shot off to tesco for emergency flowers and cards on several occasions this year when we've realised as a management team we've overlooked someone's birthday.

The quietest lady in our office had her desk decorated and a load of presents and cards when she turned 60. It's a ball ache to organise but worth it to make someone's day.

[ssd]

similar experience, worked in a small office for 11 years, contributed to many many birthdays/weddings/christenings etc etc....then most people I knew left and changed jobs and once I left I got box of maltesars.

crap.

[whirlygirly]

Oh blimey watermelon, that was a bad crossed post. I promise I'd have got the tesco finest flowers at least if it were me buying!

[counterpoint]

Could they be jealous you have left and they are stuck there?

[Geraniumred]

I actually got told off by my line manager for organising a gift for someone for the birth of their child. The fact that I had done it made her look bad. Apparantly.

[greathat]

Same thing happened to me. I was always the one that organised leaving gifts, so I suppose no one bothered. Didn't even get the customary speech as I worked part time so apparently I got a mention the day after I went. I was really upset, had been there over 11 years

[HappyAxolotl]

Forgot to say in my earlier posts that my friend's leaving party was even shittier. Usually leavers get a company night out do, but my friend was employed through a different branch of the firm and ours wouldn't stump up. So a couple of us arranged drinks at the nice (and cheap) local and sent out calendar invitations and made it clear that it wasn't company funded do. It was a come and have a drink after work thing

Dozens of yesses flooded in.
Then at about 1pm on the day of the do the pathetic excuses flooded in.
None of those people ever turn down a chance to go out after work normally and no-one objected to it being a buy-your-own-booze thing.

If they had replied no in the first place, we could have held the do on a different night or if it was the price of a pint that was the issue, we would have had to cancel. But these people all knew the score and replied yes! Then pulled out when it was too late to change plan!

About 5 of us went in the end and we did have a good night. But it wasn't the night my friend had expected based on the number of acceptance replies he had had.

[FinderofNeedles]

for you OP. YANBU!

[dublingirl48653]

nasty nasty people

do you care about nasty twats!!!!

hope not

sod them
you will be appreciated elsewhere

this has happened me and loads of my friends so chin up xxx

[PersianCatLady]

Do you think that if they had bought you a cheap bunch of flowers then you would have complained about how they had not spent much money on your leaving present?

[Whowouldfardelsbear]

I posted on here about five years ago with my experience. I was hospitalised at 35 weeks pregnant with DD2 all of a sudden with cholestasis and pre eclampsia. The only contact i got from work when I told them why i wasnt coming in that day (or back at all until after maternity leave) was a jokey email from my manager about it being an elaborate ruse to get out of a presentation I had to do later that week.

The fact my health and DD2s life were in danger was not acknowledged by anyone. No cards, no phone calls no flowers. Not then or after DD2 was born after being induced a few days later.

Even DHs work sent me a gift basket and flowers and a card. The gift basket obviously intended for me as it was full of female type toiletries and stuff.

I never went back to that job. I was so hurt too.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

That's terrible too, Fardelsbear.

I wasn't very impressed with the bunch of Tesco flowers I got from the clinic where I had worked for 5 years, when I left to have DS1. Considering they knew I was going to have a baby, I thought they might have been a bit more proactive with e.g. vouchers for Mothercare (we had a big one very locally). Turns out they'd all forgotten and the owner had bought the flowers out of his own pocket, so I shouldn't complain really. (they were nice flowers, it's just, y'know - baby.)

[camelfinger]

Yanbu. However, I remember when I started my job there being a flurry of leaving cards and collections for people who had worked there for years which were dumped on my desk.
A good friend of mine is leaving soon and I can't decide how much to put in - thinking a small amount but then buying my own present too. We have someone at work who arranges all these sorts of things: without her many people would leave with nothing I suspect.

[muddypuddled]

I'm with you on this one op. I've worked in itu for 10 years and left to have my second baby last year and haven't even had a card from anyone. All the 'oh we must meet up for lunch' and 'we'll miss you' comments before I left now feel so insincere and I'm dreading going back to work next month. I feel like it anyone asks how the baby is I'll say 'do you really care or are you just making conversation?' I've been looking for other jobs because of it because now I feel like I mustn't be liked and that the people who I thought were my friends mustn't be. And I like you have arranged so many collections and get togethers for other people. I won't be bothering again. They and call piss off!! You've not left to come and work with me have you?

[KERALA1]

Sorry still don't get it. It's work! Why should they give gifts, cards, flowers for everyone's 30th, baby, wedding, illness etc. Madness. You go there to earn money - you get emotional support from your real friends and family who properly care about you not random work colleagues. They don't care they really really don't and that doesn't make them bastards. There seems to be a big mismatch in expectation here.

[JudyCoolibar]

It does sound really shitty. However, could it be because your boss is away and it's a particularly busy A&E? I just wondered if it's short staffed at the moment so everyone is frantic, and if in other circumstances your boss would have organised something.

[JudyCoolibar]

Kerala, if you work with people 7 or more hours a day, especially in a very busy and pressured environment, it is natural to develop at least work friendships and to support each other. It is the norm in most working environments to have leaving dos, so it is naturally all the more hurtful if one person gets ignored.

[Finola1step]

Oh yes, something similar here too.

Left after 12 years. Always contributed to everyone else's pressies. I got a pair of coasters. I kid you not. A pair of effing coasters. Oh and a pen. And a sort of farewell from the boss in which her words centred on who would she now get to do all the jobs she herself found difficult. So who would do her dirty work?

A few months later, loads of photos on FB of the full on leaving do/ meal for the guy doing a maternity cover. A 9 month temp. Then the photos of all the cards and presents.

Fuck 'em. My shoulders feel so much better now that I don't have a steady stream of colleagues crying on them.

[Finola1step]

Oh but I should add that a small group of my actual friends at work did chip in on an unofficial present. Because they knew how bad the "official" present was. I strongly suspect this was all down to the boss viewing my leaving as a betrayal .

[SpecialAgentSpartacusRoars]

It's one, or all. Personal feelings should not come into it.There is social etiquette, after all.

The stories on here are super sad.