AIBU to start a thread about smut, filth, innuendo and men in white coats?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

Because I am smutty, filthy and like men in white coats.

Well bloody done on beating alchoholism. Thats a huge achievement

Good evening, thread. I dunno, I'm out making house calls for three hours and look what you get up to. Not a lot, really.

pacific. You should have seen some of DrSeth's. suggestions for the title.....oh boy...

Helena. Am still fighting it, but thank you!

I am not very earth mother either.

Have never done crafty things and baking etc. I leave that crap to the grandparents.

AF I cant even sew on a button.

AF. likewise! I can do taking him out to the park, beach, etc but the Pinterest stuff? Nope. He only likes Lego at home anyway. Will play with it for hours and bats me away if I try to join in. We 'get' each other though.

Oh yes, Lego. Best invention ever.

AF The best invention ever would be a Lego Hoover to pick the bastard bits up (and preferably sort them at the same time). Will work on a prototype tommorrow....

it could make you a rich woman !

Hoovers dont pick up, Jess. They suck...

I am very good at men but only in the sack. I like being a single Mum because I value my independence. Having said that I'm fortunate in having a great Mum and a sharp tongued no nonsense Gran. She destroyed ex with a severe tongue lashing. He almost ran away from her.

Well I carry my baby in a sling (now a rucksack because he's too big), I do crafts and baking, I co sleep when they are unwell (and Co slept full time with the oldest)
and people think I'm all earth mother. I'm not. I also ff every one of them from birth, I swear way too much and I have been known to stick the TV on and plonk them in front of it with a bag of crisps just to shut them up.
Also lego is genius...until you step.on the bastard things. Then I get very sweary and a bit shouty.

Never eat Ryvita in bed. Afterwards the little bits get everywhere and they are sharp.

Thats my equivilent of treading on Lego in the middle of the night which i know most parents have done.

Portia Well, hello.....

Hello Seth ding dong

royal You are a 'salt of the earth' mother.

helena Yep, similar experience but with much more swearing.

here you all are....

Evening handles. Glad you could join us

where's the smut and filth?!!

StillBrill as with previous thread, tends to start slowly and get far smuttier as it gets going. If you're lucky Jess will start talking about her fondness for courgettes and it will all come gushing out

DrSeth I'm right here

With this harem gathering apace the doctor will have to increase his calls.

If I hear the word 'squirt' I will report. You lot have been giving fair warning.

We could use the word ooze instead.