I don't like DH's family.
They don't like me.
We've been together for 5 years, married for 2, we live in London whilst DH's family thankfully live way up north.
I'm not the easiest person to deal with but I'm not horrid, I keep to myself, I don't really do nature or cooking or anything that takes me away from a mobile signal
DH has a massive family and every summer they all meet up at his parents property, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins which is in the middle of nowhere.
I did this once 4 years ago and I hated every bloody second of it, they go hiking at dawn, they have family sports days, which is just grown men kicking a ball around whilst the women cheer from the sidelines , tend to kids etc 
I've managed to avoid it ever since but this year DH wouldn't relent and he managed to talk me into it.
It's day 2 and I'm ready to head home. It seems that all of DH's excuses over the years weren't believed and I've been assigned the role of the evil daughter in law.
Everyone keeps giving me snide comments.
They were up at dawn for their fucking hike yesterday and I crawled out of bed to join in and not be a spoilsport and I was bombarded with snide comments
SIL: "Oh dear, if you can't keep up, you shouldn't have come along"
A random aunt: "those boots look brand new, I hope you're not throwing DH's money away" I work, I earn more than DH, I don't hike, so I had to buy boots and when I told this to random aunt, she looked at MIL and said "you were right about her"
Yesterday afternoon when all the woman were cooking in the kitchen, I was in the bedroom as I can't cook but another SIL called me down and so I went down.
"Oh why'd you bring her down" said very fucking loudly by MIL "I mean she won't be much help, girl can't even cook"
I ignored her, went on my phone as they were going on about little Barnaby (not his real name) teething and not coping well with all the noise/people.
I sat their thinking, why bring a teething toddler to this mad house but kept my mouth shut.
BIL walks through the door, joins in the Barnaby talk, looks at me and says "you'll be dealing with all this soon" I pulled a face, it was a natural reaction, lasted only for a second
MIL pipes up "Oh didn't you know, Madam over there doesn't want children, she's too busy with her career" it was said with a smile but with so much fucking venom.
I smiled and said "DH, can't stand the little brats either" then bombarded DH with texts. He walked in five minutes later and I've refused to let him leave my side.
He didn't go out to the lake with all the boys this morning and sat right next to me throughout this afternoons barbecue. This has only led to more comments, if I hear one more snide remark I'm going to tell them to shut the fuck up and then leave.
I won't survive till Friday, I'm thinking of faking ill tonight and leaving in the morning but DH refuses to play along.