To think that they should shut the fuck up

[KatMcGee]

I don't like DH's family.

They don't like me.

We've been together for 5 years, married for 2, we live in London whilst DH's family thankfully live way up north.

I'm not the easiest person to deal with but I'm not horrid, I keep to myself, I don't really do nature or cooking or anything that takes me away from a mobile signal

DH has a massive family and every summer they all meet up at his parents property, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins which is in the middle of nowhere.

I did this once 4 years ago and I hated every bloody second of it, they go hiking at dawn, they have family sports days, which is just grown men kicking a ball around whilst the women cheer from the sidelines , tend to kids etc

I've managed to avoid it ever since but this year DH wouldn't relent and he managed to talk me into it.

It's day 2 and I'm ready to head home. It seems that all of DH's excuses over the years weren't believed and I've been assigned the role of the evil daughter in law.

Everyone keeps giving me snide comments.

They were up at dawn for their fucking hike yesterday and I crawled out of bed to join in and not be a spoilsport and I was bombarded with snide comments

SIL: "Oh dear, if you can't keep up, you shouldn't have come along"

A random aunt: "those boots look brand new, I hope you're not throwing DH's money away" I work, I earn more than DH, I don't hike, so I had to buy boots and when I told this to random aunt, she looked at MIL and said "you were right about her"

Yesterday afternoon when all the woman were cooking in the kitchen, I was in the bedroom as I can't cook but another SIL called me down and so I went down.

"Oh why'd you bring her down" said very fucking loudly by MIL "I mean she won't be much help, girl can't even cook"

I ignored her, went on my phone as they were going on about little Barnaby (not his real name) teething and not coping well with all the noise/people.

I sat their thinking, why bring a teething toddler to this mad house but kept my mouth shut.

BIL walks through the door, joins in the Barnaby talk, looks at me and says "you'll be dealing with all this soon" I pulled a face, it was a natural reaction, lasted only for a second

MIL pipes up "Oh didn't you know, Madam over there doesn't want children, she's too busy with her career" it was said with a smile but with so much fucking venom.

I smiled and said "DH, can't stand the little brats either" then bombarded DH with texts. He walked in five minutes later and I've refused to let him leave my side.

He didn't go out to the lake with all the boys this morning and sat right next to me throughout this afternoons barbecue. This has only led to more comments, if I hear one more snide remark I'm going to tell them to shut the fuck up and then leave.

I won't survive till Friday, I'm thinking of faking ill tonight and leaving in the morning but DH refuses to play along.

They were horrible and bullying,

You behaved like one of the 'brats' you seem to object to.

And I don't understand why your DH didn't intervene when his family were being horrible.

In the unlikely event the OP and her DH attend one of these events again I think the DH should subvert their ridiculous gender stereotypes by telling his mother, SILs etc to sit down and relax while he and his dad get on with the meal preparation and washing up. When dad looks aghast he should say "doesn't mum deserve a break too dad" and load him and the rest of the blokes with emotional blackmail.
They'll hate it

Technically, you always go 'up' to London, Oxford and Cambridge, no matter where you are in the UK.

Thanks to this thread I've just downloaded and am in the process of watching The Family Stone. Now I see why it was referred to so much in the thread. Poor OP! I'm glad you've made it home.

I'm not huge on the in-law family hols either as when together, they're nasty about people they don't know (including having a go at complete strangers and causing scenes everywhere), they talk utter garbage and my worst peeve is that they NEVER wash their hands after using the toilet. Seriously, hubby and I have checked and the sink is bone dry. EVERY holiday, twice a year we all end up hugging the toilet and I guarantee it's down to the no hygiene. I'm the clear outcast. (I think they think I'm rude, jumping in first with the food prep before they can give me, hubby and our kids the runs!!) I'm no neat freak but OMFG!
I'd rather have snide remarks about hiking boots any day

Why is that catsize?

MyKids Eww [sick]

I once caught my ex standing my a sink with running water after using the toilet. He would run water so it sounded like he'd washed them!

Why Catsize?

Technically...how?
Technically...you only go up to London if you live south of it. That's simple geography.
I'm in Scotland. I can assure you that no one here has ever gone 'up to London'.

Technically may not have been the best word, but catsize is right; for some reason people always talk about going 'up' to Oxford and Cambridge.

However, I always thought it meant to the universities there (you also get 'sent down' from Oxbridge ie. expelled/asked to leave). I didn't know/am not sure it applies to London as a city. But maybe it applies if you're talking about going to one of the London universities?

My understanding is that is goes back centuries. Only people from the south were bright enough to go to university - obvs - and they always went 'up'. Can't remember the reason for the London thing, although always going 'up' to the capital rings distant bells.

I only ever hear the 'up' thing from super posh and proper people. And my mum (semi-posh) always corrects me. Even though I am 38.

We used to go 'Up Town' when I was a lass. Despite the fact that town was geographically South West from where I lived.

And we were common as muck

What' defines someone as not a "proper person" then. This threads went a bit off track.

Talking about going "up" because you're going north is common, but not technically correct either pictish

Technically you only go "up" to somewhere that's at a higher elevation. Which given London's something like 5m above sea level means pretty much only those on the coast are, technically, going "up".