Driving with children after a pint

[Mrbluethecatt]

I was away with my friend at her DBro/SIL's for the weekend in England. We came in friends car and I have a broken foot so can't currently drive. my friends 2Dcs were also with us.

We all 4 adults and 2 DDs were due to go to a sports event yesterday however the SIL was unwell with bad morning sickness so couldn't make it. Friends DBro wanted to take the kids and asked my friend to stay with SIL. I was to go with the DDs to help with going to the toilet etc.

When we got there friends DBro went to the refreshments bit and bought drinks including a pint of beer for himself. I wasnt happy with this as Friends and I are from Scotland where drinking and driving is very socially unacceptable and even 1 pint would put you over the limit.

Before he started drinking I quietly said I wasn't comfortable with him drinking and driving the DCs. He got very annoyed with me and took a large drink and pretty much downed the pint in one.

I called my friend and told her and said I would pay for a taxi for me and the kids home after the event finished. The event only lasted an hour.

Friends DBro was angry at me for refusing to let him take the kids home and for me calling my friend. The DCS and me got a taxi home.

My friend had words with her DBro about expecting she would be ok for him to drive the DCs after drinking. After we got home last night friends SIL called me to tell me that I was out of order and was never allowed in her home again. I considered sil as a friend as we went to Uni together. She has told a few others what happened as I have had a few texts saying I should apologise to friends DBro. I dont think I should.

Aibu? Should I apologise?

That's OK Pike it just means I can tick you off on my spreadsheet of potential MNers I might know in RL.

in my circle of friends/relations drink driving isn't the done thing.

Drink driving is driving while over the legal limit. It's not "the done thing" in England either.

YABU and OTT as are most of the posters above. It's great we are so safely conscious nowadays with car seats, not smoking, not drinking blah blah but jeez one pint of beer does not make a drink-driver. SIL also sounds like a drama lama though TBH.

I think you were all being a bit unreasonable. He probably shouldnt have had a drink when in charge of someone elses dcs, you over reacted imo to a grown man having a drink he was perfectly entitled to have, (though he was being a bit if a dick) and the sil was unreasonable to kick up such a fuss. In your shoes i would probably have privately texted the dcs mother and asked her if she was happy for him to drive after a pint. Much ado about nothing imho.

Goady, by definition if you have alcohol and then drive, you're drink driving. It may be legal, but that doesn't mean you have to approve of it.

I base my objection to it because I feel pissed after a pint and wouldn't drive. I know it doesn't affect everyone the same way, but if I wouldn't drive my children - or a car at all - after a pint, why would I let someone else?

Not getting behind a wheel at all is safest, really, isn't it? But we take that risk all the time.

Statements like this just reveal the ignorance of the speaker. Is it really beyond some people to apply a cost/benefit analysis to risk?

Of course there is a risk when driving, but a huge benefit that makes the risk (for most of us) worthwhile.

There is no benefit whatsoever to drinking any amount of alcohol at all when driving, but a very serious, obvious danger.

Gottagetmoving: You might just as well make a fuss about someone being tired or on antibiotics. Anything CAN impair your judgement or reactions. The question is how likely this is

You may not know someone is tired or on antibiotics(?) However OP knew the man had downed a pint. She had to make a decision on what she knew. How likely he would be impaired is a gamble she may not have been prepared to take.
If he had driven the children and had an accident I think she would feel a lot worse than she is feeling now. I don't even understand why she is questioning her judgement.

I won't get in a car myself if someone has had any alcohol so I definitely wouldn't let DC in the car. 1 pint maybe under the limit but is completely unacceptable for me.

I would say you have had a lucky escape

Limit or not personally I think anyone who drinks and drives with a kid in the car is selfish and dosent give a crap about the poor kid. I wouldn't have got in the car either. 1 pint slows reaction times in any size of person . He is irresponsible and I'd tell him and his Mrs to go sling there hook if they think you are the one out of order.

Zzzzz no-one was doing me a favour. He had asked me to come with to help look after the girls as my friend was staying with his unwell wife. He had asked my friend to forgo the event to stay behind. I also could have stayed behind so he could be alone with his Dnieces.

I think women far too often fall into a trap of not speaking up about things that could affect their safety for the sake of avoiding embarrassing anyone.

I think what OP meant is that it's socially unacceptable to drink anything and drive up here in Scotland. I don't think YABU I think he was being a dick, it's up to you if you choose not to put your kids in a car with someone who downed a pint an hour ago. Your kids, your choice. He's a dick.

One pint of beer will not put most people, especially a male, over the limit nor will it impair them after an hour before he then drives.

I'd have no issue with someone having a normal pint and then driving an hour later.

Gotta: It wasn't really the OP's decision to make, was it?

I think it was. If they were my children I would be glad she made that decision. If I were her friend I would be glad too. It's stupid to 'know your place' when a situation like this arises.
Many doctors and police agree no amount of alcohol should be considered safe.

private I meant out of so called friends life for the reaction. Baby grabbed my phone. Not lucky escape from the car journey.

I think it comes down to if the mum of the children would have agreed to let the DDs travel in the car. I didn't read OP properly and thought the kids were hers.

I still wouldn't have got in the car but probably would have called the mum to ask what she wanted to happen with the kids. As someone who takes strong painkillers (and immune to drowsiness now) I still don't drive with my DC in the car as I would suspect it may have some sort of affect on my ability