To make family members delete pictures of DD when she was born?

[thumb3lina]

When DD was born I was under general anaesthetic and didn't wake up well so I didn't see her for a few hours. A few family members met DD and took pictures of her in her cot before I had met her and I'm now seeing these pictures a lot, printed and digitally. Would IBU to make people delete them or at least remove them from display?

My reasoning is that DH and I should have been first to meet her and I don't like that they met my own daughter before I did, also because I don't like to see these pictures as they remind me of the time I missed with her. Purely selfish reasons.

Let it lie.

How old is DD now? Have you talked about how you feel with your DH? What are his thoughts?

YABU - but I understand why

Oh get over yourself.

Yabu.

I think you could explain and ask people that they don't show those photos around you; but you can't ask them to delete them and sound reasonably.

Have you talked to them? Maybe they felt by photographing her, they were capturing the moment to share with you after. They didn't really meet her before you did, she lived in you for 9 months! But I can understand your feelings and I'd talk to them.

I also had a child under GA. I treasure pics of her from before I woke up. Seems a bit odd to want to delete them just because someone else saw her first. Midwives see your baby before you too..

I would be furious. YANBU I think. How was this even allowed to happen in the hospital?

It depends how old your DD is. If she is about 6 years old, then yu might need to think about why this is bothering you. But if she is a newborn, then clearly you have had a traumatic time of it and this might be an indicator of some PND.

How are you OP?

YABU. I understand why you feel funny about this, but you can't ask for these photos to be deleted. They are treasured by the people who own them.

How old is your DD? It sounds as if all of this is a bit raw still?

I'd be more annoyed that the hospital allowed family members to meet the baby before you and her dad.

Who are the family members?

Why were they in the hospital? How many of them were there?

Where are the photos? For example if they put photos on Facebook etc I'd go crazy!

When was your daughter born as this sounds very raw still? I understand you're upset, but in the future might you not like looking at them? I think you just have to avoid seeing them for a bit

Yes, sorry, but it is one step too far into control.

You may be feeling sensitive now, but at some point you may enjoy the photos.
And you'll have plenty of times when people take photos of her when she is away from you.
You might as well get used to it.

Why did they meet her before you did? Although surely the midwives and doctors did too.

YABU but I sort of get why

Can you send them some new photos of her now she is a bit older and hope they display these instead? Maybe an occasion to pay for a professional photo shoot...?

You are being unreasonable but it's understandable if it's still raw.

Don't ask them to be deleted. But do say to family that they make you feel very sad. No harm in being honest. I suspect the owners of said photos think they were doing you a favour capturing a moment you couldn't see yourself.

Wondering why your family got to meet baby before you?

How did it happen that other family members got access to the baby before you or your DH?

Yanbu they didn't have permission to take pictures let alone make them public.

Yabu to ask for them to be deleted but can can ask that they're not shared with people who weren't there, on social media etc

YABVU.

Why should they, really? They were special moments for them. Ask them to take them down if you must but don't ask them to delete them. They won't anyway.

I would be upset as they shouldn't have been meeting your daughter before you? How was that actually allowed?
Tbh I don't think you can ask them to delete them unless they're on social media or something and that's what you object to?

Sounds like you had a traumatic birth, which is why you are focusing on the photos. Have you received any support to address that? Sorry but YABU. She is your DD but she is also their family member and they clearly treasure those first photos of her, it would be unfair to expect them to delete them. Maybe ask that they don't show them around you.

Don't you think you might regret deleting all the first pictures of your baby when she was brand new

DH had already met her, sorry that wasn't clear.

It was my mum, nan and dad. They came to the hospital as they thought they would lose us both (DD and I) so the hospital let them in. It's a private hospital if that makes a difference.

The photos are in frames in my mums house on display so all visitors get to see them too. I have suggested they are changed to the pictures from around 2 hours later when I had already met her. The photos are not even very good, they are blurry screenshots from FaceTime where they were calling my siblings to show them the baby.

DD is 7 months old.

I know doctors etc already meet them first, and I suspected I am being unreasonable, I just don't like to be reminded that they met her first.