To not go back to this playgroup...

[Biscuitbrixit]

...after seeing a parent smack their 3yr old?

He was throwiing toys, she told him not to, he threw them again, she told him again, he threw them again, blah blah blah, went on for ages just remove him from situation ffs
She got all shouty & eventually, after about half an hour of him throwing toys and hurting kids she went over, picked him up by the arm, smacked his bum, yelled at him and sat him on a chair, then walked away, back to her friends. She's with a group of parents who tend to all sit together in a corner and let their kids roam free, no one really paying attention until someone gets hurt.

I was kind of sitting with my friend, thinking wtf!

That's horrible crazy, I'm very sorry to hear that . To me swearing has never been used as a 'weapon' in that way by anyone, so I failed to appreciate how it could have a negative effect on someone. I apologise for that.

Regular smacking as a sort of discipline will never be acceptable to me. I don't do it to adults, would hate someone to do it to me and I would never, ever plan to do it to a child. I appreciate if your child is about to shove their hand in a fire or something and you tap their hand away that is different, what I cannot understand is people who think it is a reasonable parenting choice. For me it just isn't.

I managed to teach my 2.5 DD that radiators and fires and ovens are hot without laying a finger on her and she has never been burnt either.

Hitting a child when they are about to do something dangerous only results in fear. There are much better methods of communication, no matter what age they are.

I don't care whether a baby is breast or bottle fed. I don't care what you feed your child. I don't care if they walk or you push them in a buggy. But if you are about to harm your child, either through smacking or any other method (smoking around them or in the car with them infuriates me), too right I become judgey!!

Oh lord, I wholeheartedly agree with you^^! I would never choose to hit a child for any reason, but I can understand more if you just instinctively hit their hand out of the way to stop them doing themselves harm. I can't say for sure how I'd react if my toddler was about to do something like that as she never has, but if I would never choose to do it.

It's definitely a bad idea in any circumstances and not a good way of teaching your child anything.

Some years ago a mumsnet group used to meet informally at my workplace. The inner clique's, and one woman in particular's treatment of newcomers was chilling to behold. Whispering to exclude them, smug looks and smiles, and body language that visibly physically cut people out. I'm a keen people observer, and I saw one woman on the verge of tears at her treatment. I actually went up to her later and said it's not you it's them. This group actually put me off the idea of mumsnet for a while!
I think there are always some groups that are not welcoming, and it can be hard to find one that is the right fit. I don't think I ever really did - too many competitive yummy mummies at mine. If it they make you uncomfortable - fuck 'em!

Fortitudine
That is exactly how I feel at the groups I've never really fit in a big group of friends only ever having a select few really good friends! I make my self go to allow my son to be around other children rather than just his brother but I don't enjoy them at all x

totally agree with Salmotrutta