To not go back to this playgroup...

[Biscuitbrixit]

...after seeing a parent smack their 3yr old?

He was throwiing toys, she told him not to, he threw them again, she told him again, he threw them again, blah blah blah, went on for ages just remove him from situation ffs
She got all shouty & eventually, after about half an hour of him throwing toys and hurting kids she went over, picked him up by the arm, smacked his bum, yelled at him and sat him on a chair, then walked away, back to her friends. She's with a group of parents who tend to all sit together in a corner and let their kids roam free, no one really paying attention until someone gets hurt.

I was kind of sitting with my friend, thinking wtf!

don't worry SatsukiKusakabe, you are being judged negatively for your smug attitude only. I am sure people who know would have even more to say.

We should be grateful to be in a country where we are allowed different opinion and parenting. Why always the need to judge others?

You will have people fighting over any of the following:
smoking
drinking alcohol in pregnancy
dummies
cosleeping
feeding your kids junk food and fizzy drinks
immunising
pierced ears
headband on babies
kids watching tv
kids taught to fight back/ to be pacifist and report to teachers

I could go on. Are you ready to start challenging parents every time someone has different parenting views?

I don't agree with smacking at all but it doesn't mean people who smack are worse parents than those who don't. There are many ways to damage a child...smacking is only one of them.

Is not giving any boundaries also damaging? Thinking of the kids on tv yesterday?

smacking is a very poor parenting choice, it makes the child angry and makes you feel guilt, it achieves nothing good.

And yet, when my child ran away the other day and scared me shitless, I smacked him. I regret it and I did it.

Does this mean I am pounding the shit out of him behind closed doors, no

and YY to Salmotrutta

she said that they didn't have boundaries or bedtimes and don't tell the five year old off.
'He is a highly sensitive child so he does struggle with getting overwhelmed easily so it's important for him not to have strong, authoritarian discipline.

Yes I think not giving boundaries is also damaging. There is a middle ground between regularly smacking (not a one off) and "off-grid parenting" or whatever it's called.

ailith I'm being sarcastic as this is a nonsence and smug thread.

It reeks of it.

'My parenting is superior .. Blah blah..'

I'm sure it really isn't!

There are many ways to damage a child...smacking is only one of them

This with bells on.

I was smacked by my mother - but it was her MH problems that damaged my brother and I.

I dont smack my kids, it not because I've made a conscience decision about it or I think I'm more superior (And I didn't read a book ) it's just something I just didn't do.

There is a world of difference from getting a smacked bum or hand to a slapped face, punch, kick.

That's why the law says the latter is illigal.

Snacking is not.

mummy I seen those cheeky fuckers (the parents)

I'm trying not to judge but I'm failing big-time

I feel kids need strong boundaries to push against

I judged on their amazing self entitlement that they expected other folk to fund their 'self sufficent lifestyle' which they clearly had no discipline to be able to do. It's bloody hard work doing what they want to do and I don't think either of then has a days graft in them.

I think the kids will be ok - if not just as entitled as their parents when they grow up.

Yes it was that i disliked the most. The sense of entitlement to 100k!

I'm now thinking of asking for 100k online, well why not?

I'm sorry you witnessed that OP.

I recently witnessed an episode with a group of adults and children who were sitting in the sun outside a music school. A mum came out and called her child in to his lesson. She has form for ignoring her kids and then displaying shouty and uncaring behaviour when they do something she doesn't like.

The little boy didn't listen to her so she shouted at him. She told him she was going to drag him personally across the floor into his lesson if she had to. The parents turned round. He got up reluctantly, clearly embarrassed, in front of his friends and as he walked past her into the building she gave him a forceful poke in his back which propelled him forward. I have wondered a lot about what kind of behaviour she displays when there is no one else around. But I was also furious that she did it in front of lots of other children including my own. We have a responsibility to show our children that violence is not the proper way to respond and people who display aggressive behaviour publicly undermine this.

I am still wondering what to do about it, and if I was you OP I might talk to the playgroup admins to see if there is something they can do in a non confrontational way.

Playgroups not only help children, but help parents understand their children too. They have responsibility to run a safe group, so they could be involved in a solution...

I was smacked occasionally as a child and am in no way damaged. Sitting here enjoying my mums company right now.

That is in response to the comment that smacking is just one way of damaging a child.

I wouldn't be shocked at that, I only know two people in rl who have never smacked their dc. I don't know any bad parents or parents who don't love their children.

someone who regularly hit their children any more than I would be friends with man who slapped his wife about.

These things are not the same.

I'm sorry you witnessed that OP - oh for goodness sake!

I'm sure the OP will be fine

soeverybody did you not intervene in this awful scenario? If not - why? If it was that bad, why did you not say something?

Why did you just sit there judging and looking on while apparently this poor boy was being abused?

I'm sure she will too.

It's a bit of a non problem really. A mother smacks her child on the bum because he didn't listen for the nth time. She won't be the last to do that though it's less commonplace than it was.

Why do people always assume that just because some parents choose to smack their kids as discipline, that they maybe abusing their children behind closed doors
Seriously? Just because some don't choose to do it, does not make them abusers.
Smacking is not illegal.
Completely agree this is simply a judgy thread ( which will most likely end up being deleted).
dolly yes me too, and i grew up still loving my parents. ( infact my dad and i were like best friends).
I was certainly never angry after being smacked either
When i were older i would rather a smack than the punishments i was given, no tv, no going out etc

I was smacked and it did affect me...probably because my mother used to 'lose it' and was scarily angry. She would lash out in temper. My dad smacked me once and he felt terrible...which I am ashamed to say I played on and made the most of.
I doubt a real abuser would smack in public...they usually keep it for indoors when no one is looking?
I have never smacked my children...not because I am a better parent, but just because there were other ways to deal with bad behaviour which were adequate.

It's a toddler playgroup run by parents - what on earth would the administrators be expected to do about it?

Parents who smack their children should be challenged by other adults.

I've heard everything now.

Umbongo etc:

She smacks her children and screams at them? I despair.
Different parenting style, my eye. She is a bully.