Hotel etiquette

[trinity0097]

AIBU to think that if you are in the lobby/bar of a 'naice' hotel you don't let your 5 year old run around and around screaming around the their guests who are trying to have a quiet pre/post dinner drink without doing some parenting to get him to behave more appropriately? E.g. Distracting him with something else or taking him outside to run around?!

phleb

There is a huge difference imo. You shouldn't feel bad about your dc playing anywhere, especially in their own designated area. I know it's hard and people judge, that's their problem, not your dc.
You sound like a lovely mum trying her best, and your kids sound wonderful. Maybe your ds is the one with the right attitude, he wants to help which is to be applauded, some folk are just mean.
for you, hope you don't let them get to you too much and you and your dc can enjoy the holidays.

I am sick to death of this 'Hand that rocks the cradle.....' mentality nowadays. No you don't 'rule the world' in that sense, you really don't I may be projecting a bit though as I was subject to nearly an hour yesterday of my step GS visiting with a beach ball on a rope type thing , making that repetitive slapping noise about a second apart every time he hit it. His mother and SS, his dad just sat there talking louder and louder over the noise and he was only told to 'calm it down a bit' when he nearly hit the tv with it. He is 8 btw.

My child has asd. His learning difficulties mean he has understanding similar to a typical 12 month old. He is non verbal and has severe sensory problems. He doesn't understand manners and is never going to have appropriate social skills. This is nothing to do with us not taking the time to teach him. All children with asd are different and just because some can learn it doesn't mean that they all can.

riceuten i hate those scooters along with those bloody heeleys.
Work of the devil
Apparently it's appropriate to use a
scooter and bike ( yes a bike!) in my local Tesco
Did not get what i needed that day

phlebasconsidered - I'm sorry that you find it so stressful being out and I'm glad that waitress managed to get you all sorted out.

In my view, and hopefully others, there's a huge difference between seeing a DC of any age in meltdown and DCs of any age being allowed to run riot in non appropriate places. I have huge empathy for the former as we've all been there one way or another( provided I can see that there is a parent or carer there and they appear to be doing their best to sort it out ) and very little tolerance for the latter.

Kali - a DF let his two scoot round the gym cafe the other day. thankfully the staff pointed out it wasn't appropriate.

Honking, that's different. Presumably your DS isn't charging around getting in other adults' way. I see it as similar to a cocktail bar housing an adult with severe needs - I might find it uncomfortable (depending), but their entitlement's as good as mine.

I take your point, though, that you were responding to the tiresome refrain of "all children can be controlled" and "lazy parenting".

Selfish people - they don't take the long view either and think about how annoyed people are getting not only with them but with their children. We all want people to like our children - if they are noisy and selfish nobody will - I wonder if these over indulgent parents who let them run wild ever think of this, or wonder why they don't get asked anywhere - at least not twice.

Garlicstake - He would probably be walking around ( he doesn't do sitting unless he is eating) with me right behind him.

I get especially tired of other parents of children with asd claiming that all children can be taught to do whatever.

Some parents do expect everybody to put up with the bad behaviour of their offspring. Some areas are 'quiet' or adult areas, some areas are specifically for children to play and let off steam. The kids are not the problem ( or the staff) - it's some parents who have yet to accept that if everybody let their kids run wild it would be hell on earth for all of us.

At my nephew's wedding a small child spent the entire time running up and down the aisle and shrieking, parents did nothing.The poor guy trying to video the proceedings was at his wits end. So I grabbed the boy as he next went past and frogmarched him out. I was followed by his furious father, but I gave him my best schoolmarm look and told him his fortune! Luckily, he didn't think to threaten me with assault, but what an entitled and inconsiderate pair the parents were. My nephew curtailed the friendship soon after.

There's a time and a place.

A public space in a nice hotel (shall we say 4 or more stars?) is not an appropriate place for anyone to behave like that. The parents/carers were at fault. In the same way as a library, a doctor's surgery, or a traditional operatic performance are not appropriate settings for that behaviour.

Of course, i'd apply reasoning like this to any adults present also. It's a fancy place. Smart appearance, subdued & respectful behaviour of other guests AND STAFF, generally not carrying on like some sort of drunken twat.

Then again, I know that a great many adults don't bother to amend their behaviour according to the setting, so it's no surprise that some kids are picking up that practice. Plus ça change

Had the opposite in a middle range restaurant a while ago .It was early evening (we were going on for concert)Mum and dad with a maybe 5 year who was a good as gold the entire meal .They chatted to him and he charmed the pants off the waitress. DH and I made a point of complimenting his parents on the way out and told him what a well behaved boy he was, and his mummy and daddy should be proud of him .It can be done
We rarely stayed in hotels until my children were older (too poor)but I would have been horrified if they had behaved badly
And while we are on the subject of 'entitled'children , since when is it ok to let your child (about 8)pile their plate sky high from the breakfast buffet (unsupervised),leave most of it then go back and get more ?I hate wasted food and was gob smacked when I saw this recently

I think parents can be immune to a bit of running around/screaming noise. However I think taking children to 'naice' places means teaching them how we behave there. It's not the same as taking them to the playground so they shouldn't behave as they do there. Agree with pps who've said the parents (failing that, the foh staff) should have distracted this child into submission.

How naice is this naice hotel anyway?

This really annoys me. Children should be taught to understand where it's appropriate to run around screaming and where it isn't.
It's not an entitlement, if you go out with noisy kids, don't expect to be able to sit back and let everyone else deal with it.
Pet hate.

Post, re breakfast pisstaking & suchlike: if parents don't have manners or think of the bigger picture, they can't teach their kids what they don't know.

That's up to them, though. I couldn't stir myself to be outraged at it. Disappointed in a general sense, maybe, and regretful that owners have to factor in a lot of waste ... but no-one ever promised me the world would always meet my personal standards!

Yanbu.
I have however been at that point once where my son (very special needs) went loopy on a train, screaming, running, hitting me and I sat there and cried and didn't do any parenting. Had we been able to get off the train I would of course dragged him away and cried at home!

I think some adults need to learn manners as regards to the way they react to children like my son. They need to learn not to stare, tut, pull faces and make unpleasant comments.

Do people really do that, honking? On a regular basis?
WTF is the matter with everyone? :(

Clearly OP is trying to understand parents who aren't looking after their 5 year old - who runs around in a lobby and then is left to its own devices while the parents have supper. Undoubtedly disturbing everyone else there. And clearly there are numbers of responders who make sure their kids, whatever their problems, don't interfere with other people's enjoyment. Been there. As to honking haddock - totally accept people should react better but this wasn't what the OP was talking about.

It's clearly not helped in hotels with adults behaving drunkenly and selfishly and making places that would be good for young kids (Magaluf, thinking) completely unacceptable with their behaviour and embarrassing us all.

of course sn kids are differnt i think op could tell if this was the case

the face is the parents dont want to parent because theyr on holiday and feel theyre entitled to do what they like regardless of anyone else
i wouldnt dare have runaround screeching or anything of the sort at that age iw as taught manners-shame some people have none

YANBU. If my children are playing up anywhere in public (or at home) they get told off. It doesn't always work of course, because, let's face it children play up and don't distinguish between a wacky warehouse or a nice hotel/restaurant .....however, a couple of minutes of bad behaviour plus various stern words and they would be carted off somewhere else for a bollocking
Having said that I wouldn't take young children to fancy places, so as to negate the above situation.

I don't and never have let my twin boys behave in that manner (anywhere) and feel some parents are just completely oblivious to it or just can't be bothered. High spirits is one thing but in a nice/expensive hotel behaviour should reflect the location.

I've brought up 65 children through fostering, childminding and a couple of them were actually mine. Why on earth should people pay good money to listen and watch other children misbehave, it's hardly fair. We always fitted going out for a meal in the early evening so that the children had finished before serious meal times for adults started. That way they learnt to eat out in real restaurants without upsetting anyone. I myself object to having my evening spoilt by lazy parenting, parents who think their children are being 'cute' when they are being brattish. It shows a distinct lack of consideration for others to allow behaviour like this to continue unchecked. It's ok to say 'well it's their holiday as well' if

It's ok to say 'it's their holiday as well' if that's the case then teach them how to behave with consideration for others. That looks more 'cute' than the alternative.