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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hotel etiquette

217 replies

trinity0097 · 17/07/2016 18:10

AIBU to think that if you are in the lobby/bar of a 'naice' hotel you don't let your 5 year old run around and around screaming around the their guests who are trying to have a quiet pre/post dinner drink without doing some parenting to get him to behave more appropriately? E.g. Distracting him with something else or taking him outside to run around?!

OP posts:
ApostrophesMatter · 17/07/2016 19:44

YANBU. Some parents are just plain lazy.

rookiemere · 17/07/2016 19:47

YANBU.
Mind you it's not just DCs that don't know how to behave in nice places. We stay at a very family oriented aparthotel which is far away from the centre, but last year there was a hen party who were swearing loudly for most of their visit even whilst children were walking past.

Evergreen17 · 17/07/2016 19:50

YANBU
Today on the train, a mum carrying a baby brings her son to use the toilet. Then screaming at the top of her lungs tells him off for locking the door and keeps shouting.
Then bring another child and same procedure. Then of course baby starts screaming because EVERYONE on the train wanted to scream too.

I just don't get the "let them be children"

I work with children. Last week there was one climbing a statue. ConfusedConfused
My colleague said please he needs to come back. (First because he is climbing on a museum exhibit, second because it is 3 metres high!)
Get this, mum gets him down then says to him loudly. "You are all right, this man has just forgotten what it was to be 5 years-old"

EnvyAngryAngryEnvyAngry

Excuse me WHAT???!!!

Some people.

Madbengalmum · 17/07/2016 19:50

YANBU, i get tired of seeing unruly kids and non existant parents. There are a certain group of individuals who seem to think it is everybody else's responsibility to look after their kids.

ailith · 17/07/2016 19:50

Too right, Nanny. Those parents are an embarrassment to themselves and their unruly bratz are a huge annoyance to all. Grrrr

Evergreen17 · 17/07/2016 19:51

Piseas were you at a museum last week? Hmm

sirfredfredgeorge · 17/07/2016 19:52

It's not a nice hotel, in a nice hotel, the staff would deal with it, and would have a separate no-kids bar too - it's part of what you're paying for to be in a nice hotel. In a Travelodge or similar, the parents should deal with it.

In a middle hotel pretending to be a nice hotel but not having the staff to deal with it... hmm, that's trickier...

Evergreen17 · 17/07/2016 19:52

Errr don't be so grumpy
Err Hmmchildren can enjoy and be happy and still learn manners

John4703 · 17/07/2016 19:53

YANBU but you did say running around and around the whole lobby not just where his family was sat could you not have accidentally tripped him up

Madbengalmum · 17/07/2016 19:54

What? So the Staff of a hotel are there to babysit peoples children now?

mineofuselessinformation · 17/07/2016 19:55

I found the screams of my own children piercing enough (and consequently discouraged the behaviour and removed said child if appropriate).
The screaming of other people's children is as intrusive, if not more so.
YANBU.

tobee · 17/07/2016 19:56

Isn't part of parenting teaching your kids where and when behaviour is appropriate ? Just like we expect them to be potty trained, feed themselves etc?

ailith · 17/07/2016 19:57

Shark etc:
It's interesting that children in Europe are much better behaved when out in public. It would be absolutely wonderful for everyone if British parents also taught their children how to behave properly.

PiSeas · 17/07/2016 19:59

nanny don't for one second think you know what kind of a parent I am and how I discipline my child. My children do not run around in restaurants etc...and are well behaved and polite.

Kids get excited and muck around, this is ok. Adults relax their rules, this is ok too.
We've heard one side of the story. How about trying to think of the other side : MAYBE the parents and kids had just arrived and were excited too?

I also get annoyed by entitled lazy parenting but FGS how about people realise we're in the school holidays and actually, kids are allowed a break now and then too.

Most of the times when we stay at hotels it's actually the drunken adults making a racket and being inappropriate.

DoWhat123 · 17/07/2016 20:00

I'm sure I don't know the etiquette of where you are, but where I live there is very much a culture of people helping others with parenting. For instance, someone would just tell the child it's rude to be screaming and escort them back to the parent - or if they had a distraction, try for that while getting the parent's attention.

Not saying it's your responsibility at all, and for all I know the parents could have been totally self centered and not been humiliated/thankful for the help. There is much less of this out of control child behavior if they know most adults will pull them up on it (in a polite way of course) but definitely letting them know it's not acceptable behavior.

I'm not totally it takes a village type, but some type of cultural expectations or enforcements really help with children in my experience.

Groovee · 17/07/2016 20:02

My dd works at a hotel and had a family who wanted the kids to have a table in the dining room while they sat in the bar! Their 3 year old had humorous cans of juice and she found him about to jump off a 6 foot wall outside with no adult!

When she returned him the mother snapped " I'm sure your mother did this to you at this age!"

Dd under the watch of her manager replied "actually my mum is very strict but always put us children first!"

At that point the child spewed everywhere and the mother turned green but did clean it up when concierge arrived with the stuff for her!

But dd says it's an eye opener how many people think she's there to baby sit and not work in the dining room or function!

ailith · 17/07/2016 20:02

PiSeas:
Just get off your high horse and stop defending the indefensible. You are making a case for rude, selfish behaviour. Pathetic.

PiSeas · 17/07/2016 20:05

Yes evergreen that was me at the museum too. HmmAngry - again, what a silly question Confused
So now, because I have a different opinion I'm now the mum of all the badly behaved kids

PiSeas · 17/07/2016 20:08

ail no high horse at all - perhaps you're misreading my tone?? OP posed a question and I responded. Just because I had a different opinion and perhaps saw what the other parents were going through doesn't warrant be in called pathetic.

ailith · 17/07/2016 20:09

PiSeas:
You are certainly "the mum" who takes everything literally. Good grief.

rookiemere · 17/07/2016 20:10

I agree that there are also badly behaved adults.
However I suspect that the rowdy mannerless grown-ups were not born that way, but may perhaps have grown up with the idea that their noise was acceptable.

FinnMcCool · 17/07/2016 20:13

I had a similar experience on holiday last week.
Table of two families at lunch every day. Two sets of parents, 5 kids aged around 6-10, being allowed to run, and spin and chase each other through the buffet.
I wonder if they realised by the end of day two that they had the restaurant to themselves until they had finished.
And it was bad parenting, not the kids fault for not being told to sit down at the table.
I sympathise OP.

tobee · 17/07/2016 20:16

I want to know what humorous cans of juice are. They sound great!

eggsontoast07 · 17/07/2016 20:18

I have to completely agree with Nannyogg.

Money and relaxation time is hard to come by these days. I too like kids and don't mind a bit of noise of course, but people need to be a bit more considerate of others....its not nice when you save up for something only for it to be ruined by this sort of thing.

Onesieisthequeensselfie · 17/07/2016 20:18

Tobee - I was picturing giant pineapple cans with a straw Grin

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