To ask if you call your MIL 'Mum' ?

[thewavesofthesea]

Just that really. I have noticed that my own mum and MIL called their MILs 'Mum' but I never have, and neither does my brother in law's wife. I kinda feel like I would like to; I have been with my husband for 14 years, married for 8, and she is very lovely, supportive and does a lot for us; I love her to bits. But I would not want to offend my own mum, who also does a lot for us etc. and don't want MIL to think I'm odd after all this time! Maybe I'm overthinking it......

Once we had kids it was always Nannie and everyone called her that then lol

No, and I've been married over ten years now. I call her by her name, she isn't my mum.
Would feel very weird calling her mum! I already have a mum.

I write cards to mum and dad for all parents as they are from all the family but I call my in laws by their names, DH does the same with my parents. I can't get my head round calling them mum and dad. I think my FIL would freak out if I called him dad (even though I get on with him really well, enough that I've spent time with him and his partner, just me and the kids without DH)

My husband always called my mum, "mum" because that's how I introduced her...husbands name, this is mum. He called my dad by his first name because it happened my mum introduced him to dad.

I don't talk to my in laws anymore so either say, your mum/dad or if talking to the kids, grandma/grandpa. When I did talk to them I tried never to be in a situation where I had to call them anything because nothing seemed right...not mum/dad, not their first names, wouldn't have been comfortable with that, obviously calling them Mr & Mrs last name would have been odd....

God, no flipping way! I've never called her anything.

My thoughts exactly. MIL and I do not have a good relationship, so there's no way I'd call her 'Mum'. It also feels weird to call her by her first name - we are not friends, and I would call anybody else of her generation 'Mrs X', and whilst I'm okay with it, she's not. So now I've settled on 'Granny' or 'Mr Squiggleirl's Mum'.

I remember my (late) Dad used to call his MIL (the only grandparent I remember) Mum, and thinking it was a nice thing to do.
Like a PP, I never called my PILs anything until our DSs came along, then they were nanna and grandad even if the DCs weren't there. In later years (I think more so after both my parents were dead) I did call them mum and dad, though it did feel odd.
They always used to sign cards to me 'from mum and dad (in law)' - just in case there was any way I'd confuse it with a card from my sadly long dead dad and totally different handwriting mum.
They were not nice people, btw. No longer around sadly

My inlaws call each other mum & dad

I use their names

Nope. I love my MIL and we're very close but it feels odd to even think about calling her mum. I do use a super shortened informal version of her name, which only close family call her, and I call FIL by his family nickname! But much as I love them I couldn't bring myself to call them mum and dad.

No. But she does as do her sils (3 brothers).
My sil doesn't either I don't think. Don't think my parents did. Might it be a generational thing?

My mil got very snippy with me when I wrote a Christmas card to 'Tommy and Jan' from DH and I....she said that Mum and Dad would 'look better'.
DH does (or doesn't), all the cards for his side now!

I call my in laws mum and dad and have only been married 5 weeks. We've known each other 13 years and FIL had my back big style long before I started dating DH. I've always had a level of respect for them that goes beyond them being DH parents.

No, but I called my XFIL "Dad", as all the other DILs did. Maybe it was a Scottish thing, I'm English.

No I don't and never would either but my dh calls my DM mum though. I narrow my eyes at him and say 'she's my mum not yours and I'm not sharing her'
I don't mind really in fact I'm pleased he feels that way about her.
She's a brilliant DM and she loves all her children including my sil (who also calls her mum) and my dh.

LastGirlOn It's my attention seeking SIL in my case. Unfortunately she uses both Mum and Dad, usually very patronisingly. THEY ARE NOT your parents. Piss off

I do call my MIL mum, but I call my mother by her first name. I also call my childhood best friends mum "mum", but said childhood friend calls her mum "mom" and it doesn't bother her as she doesn't see it as the same.

For context on that my mother abandoned me aged 10 and left me with a beyond abusive father. Childhood friends mum was the closest I had to a mother and she took me under her wing, cared for me, listened to me, took me on holidays etc. always treated me as her own.

MIL has always been incredibly supportive, will back me up if her son is being an arse, has helped us with childcare, helped us financially and provided untold emotional support.

I think as long as everyone is happy with it then there's no harm. But then this isn't exactly a normal situation where I could risk offending my own parents, and frankly I wouldn't really care if I did.

I look at it in the same way that while everyone only has one mother and father, step parents or foster parents etc. can be easily regarded as mum or dad.

DH spent years calling my DM 'lowccrabdiets mum'. Once we were married he started calling her Milly. That's not her name at all, just his take on the acronym MIL.

I have never once heard him say her actual name! Quite an achievement in almost 20 years.

I'm fairly certain he loves her

No, I've never called MIL mum. Only my actual mum gets called mum by me.

I call MIL either by her first name or granny depending on whether or not the kids are around.

No. She didn't bloody raise me.

I do. PIL call their PIL mum and dad too. I've been with DH and known them since I was 19 though, I think it might have been weirder if I'd been older and a "proper grown up" when I met them.

I had to call mine Mrs Whistlejackets until I got engaged, then she invited me to call her "mother". My face must have been a picture as we compromised on Elizabeth, even though everyone else calls her Eliza.

My DSIL never had the chat, and has managed over 8 years without ever having directly addressed MIL.

I do, sometimes. She knows I think it a bit odd but I do when I remember to, because she likes it. I see it as an honorific and certainly wouldn't of I didn't like her. FIL died the year we got married so I decided I was happy to go along with something I thought a bit odd if it helped cheer her up.

No. She's not my Mum.

I know one person who does this, and I have to try and stop my eyebrows from raising themselves every time I hear it. I think it's very, very odd. You can like someone, and very very fond of them, or even love them and appreciate them greatly, but calling someone Mum when they aren't your Mum just sounds really odd to me.

I call her by her name and lots of other things under my breath.

She is no my Mum , will never replace my Mum who is sadly no longer with us.

Has hell frozen over ? No . Therefore I will not call her Mum.

No, although she does sign cards etc to me as 'Mum'. She's more of a Mum to me than my mother is and I love her dearly but I think I'd find it very strange to call her 'Mum'.

My sister in law called my mum "Mum". She loved her, She loved her....it was an unique relationship. It wasn't the same mum, as in in, mum. My mum died three years ago but still, my now divorced sister in law calls MY mum (not hers) Mum. It was a term of indearment if nothing else.