To ask if you call your MIL 'Mum' ?

[thewavesofthesea]

Just that really. I have noticed that my own mum and MIL called their MILs 'Mum' but I never have, and neither does my brother in law's wife. I kinda feel like I would like to; I have been with my husband for 14 years, married for 8, and she is very lovely, supportive and does a lot for us; I love her to bits. But I would not want to offend my own mum, who also does a lot for us etc. and don't want MIL to think I'm odd after all this time! Maybe I'm overthinking it......

No but my MIL does with hers and so does her sister (with her own). I think it's an old fashioned thing. But I do refer to her as mum if I'm talking to DH's family members about her iyswim? So I'd say 'where's mum?' Or 'What's mum doing?' But if I am speaking to her I call her by her name.

No, I find it strange but my mum called my dads parents mum and dad

As thisismyfirsttime said, I do it if talking to OH about his mum/dad but not to them

God no, never in a million years. My MIL calls her MIL mum though. I think it might be a generational thing.

Nope. But I know my parents did with their in laws. I do find that once kids are in the picture, mum/dad goes out the window and our parents get called grandma/grandad/nana instead anyway.

I do, but I had no relationship with my Mother and have a great relationship with MIL. My Nana [and Grandad] brought me up and she was always Nana. In the early days I called her by her first name, then for a while we all called her Granny because one of the grandkids kept getting confused and calling her Mummy, FIL Daddy and BIL and his wife by their first names (they lived with PIL at the time) and after that I just called her Mum. We had a very tearful, drunk, conversation shortly after the first time it happened and both agreed it was a good thing.

DH and I also both call his PIL (his late first wife's parents) Maw and Paw. It started as a joke years ago and has kind-of stuck.

No. She's not my mum.

yes! my dad also calls my mil mum.

i lost my own mum when i was 30 so it's kind of nice if you ask me, very old fashioned but respectful, am from the east end though so perhaps that's a ee thing

I'm a MIL and they call me by my first name

No, my mum was made to call her PIL mum and dad, but she hated it. Those PIL (who are my grandparents) once sat me down and asked me why DH didn't call them granny and grandad. I explained that he had his own ones, but they had died and that my grandparents aren't actually his grandparents. It was a weird conversation as they asked what I called his parents and I call them by their first names, which they weren't expecting. They also thought I'd say, 'OK, I'll tell him to call you granny and grandad.' But I obviously wouldn't.

No. I think it's odd.
I often forget to call mil "your mum" to Dh and just call her Joan* or even granny if ds is in the convo too.

*not her actual name

No.

Like chimpy, my il sign my birthday cards etc "from mum and dad".

My dad died when i was small, so its been the best part of 30 years since i used the word "dad". It really makes my hackles rise- it's a word that has a lot of emotion and memories attached, and for them to use in that way it really sets me off balance.

God no. It would be weird and I wouldn't like to think of my DCs calling someone else mum in future. I'm the one who gave birth and brought them up, I am their mum.

My aunts DH used to her her mum, mum. I found it odd and the only person I've ever heard doing it.

No but I do call DH's grandmother Nana. I'm very fond of her and after a few drinks at my wedding, asked if I could call her that as I married her grandson. She gave me a big hug and said of course I could. It made me very happy!

She's no longer with us, but I always used her name. It wouldn't have felt right to call her mum when I have my own mum.

Nooo.
She's still Mrs.•••••
She hasn't even said to call her by her first name.
When leaving a message on the phone she says 'Mummy here...'

No. I Dont even call my mil. ba-dum.

My sister calls her partner's mum mum. Our mum does not like it at all.

No I don't. She isn't my mum. DH doesn't call my mum mum either because she isn't.

I call my fabulous (no mil bashing here!) mum in law by her first name. My husband calls my mum 'Mil'.

My sister's dickhead husband calls my mum 'Mum' and it irritates me no end. She is NOT his mum!!!

She told me she doesn't like it and finds it attention seeking. She's right - he is the biggest attention seeker on the planet. He is very short (just over five foot) and I sometimes wonder if he is trying to have a 'big' personality to compensate for his height or lack thereof.

Nope. Call her 'spare mummy' when taking the piss.

Or 'granny' now a days anyway

No, not that she is with us anymore but I wouldn't have dreamed of calling her 'mum' - nor would she have wanted me to. As it happens I usually address my own mother by her first name and am happy for my DS to call me by my first name, I have no feelings about wanting to be addressed as 'mum' for the rest of my life.

And I certainly wouldn't want any future DIL to call me 'mum'.

I love my Mil, she is great.

Not my mum though so I call her by her name. Well except for a couple of times straight after getting married as a bit of a joke, it was taken in the way intended and I got a laugh and a hug.

My mum is very proud of her son in law, she still would be a bit if he started calling her mum.