Disabled/baby change

[Babyred457]

Have NC for this as I have spoken to friends about it and don't want to be outed!

DH and I are members of the gym and pool at a local hotel and take baby DS (4 months) swimming there. It's not a large pool and has small communal changing rooms for men and women and then a separate family/disabled changing room. This is the only one with a baby change table and nappy bin so it's the one we always use when we take DS. It has 4 lockers in it so obviously if you use them then you take the risk that you might have to wait for someone else to finish before you can get in and get your stuff.

Today when we were swimming there was only one other person in the pool, a woman in her late 50s/early 60s. We left the pool and went into the family changing room and had just started getting DS changed when the woman started banging on the door, shouting that we had to let her in as she was disabled and this was the disabled changing room. DH opened the door, said that it was also the family changing room and that we were changing DS but that we'd be as quick as we could. She carried on shouting that we shouldn't be using the changing room, that she was disabled and we had to let her in. She was incredibly rude and was making such a scene that I said to DH just let her go first, so we wrapped DS in a towel and waited, poor DS was kicking off but so was this woman and I tend to back down when people challenge me. DH however was fuming and went and spoke to the manager (dripping everywhere!) who agreed that it was both a family and a disabled changing room and that it's first come first served, no one has priority.

FWIW the woman no obvious physical disability (although MN has taught me that not all disabilities are obvious) and I don't think there was any reason why she couldn't have waited five minutes, she was also extremely rude. Had she approached at the same time as us I'd probably have let her go first anyway but she saw us leave the pool and go in there with DS (you can see the changing room from the pool!) so clearly then took a deliberate decision to get out herself at that moment and start banging on the door in an extremely aggressive manner.

So who was BU? It's difficult because almost all the restaurants etc I go to have the baby changing facilities in the disabled toilets. I would always happily fold a buggy or get off a bus for a wheelchair user etc but should a person with a baby have to exit a disabled loo or changing room mid-change for a disabled person? After all what would the disabled person do if another disabled person was already using the facilities?

No the lockers being in there is a stupid set up.
They need to find some where else put them if they want to do something and not spend money.

Perhaps parents and families who need the family cubicles etc could campaign for baby change facilities to be separated from disabled facilities? Perhaps Mumsnet could get behind it?

It's bad planning and thoughtless when they just add the baby facilities to existing and fought for disabled spaces. Those spaces are often the only way disabled people can access that service.

I find it weird that a disabled person gets called rude for being pissed off about not being able to access the spaces they need, but a thread about someone parking in a p and c space has everyone (well a lot of people) sympathising and talk of punching the selfish person who parks in them without dc.

I don't think those who are affected by this and pointing out why the woman in the OP may have been stressed are wankers either.

Flouncy
Yes, you are of course right, a plan B is also needed. As is a C, D and E. It makes life bloody exhausting.
Yes I imagine it does!

Needaclever
I don't count that as me being disabled.

I would assume that most e.g. wheelchair users would be happy with you using the facilities because of your physical/medical needs. It's not like a blue badge space where there's a legal requirement.

My DH has a medical need which can mean rather unexpected requirements for breaks/facilities. He doesn't have a disability - he has a medical condition - but occasionally needs to point out to e.g. a boss that his needs have not been accommodated. If this clashed with someone who had a disability I hope everyone would be accommodating as long as they all got what they needed in the end. But I imagine that he, and any colleagues with disabilities, would be a bit less than impressed if someone else just decided "oh he had a break an hour ago, I fancy a break now, but too bad if that means X misses their booked train".

How about this one...

I use a wheelchair and was at hydrotherapy. There are multiple rooms with rails etc, but only one big enough for a wheelchair. Wibu to expect ambulatory disabled folk to leave the wheelchair room for people (like me) who actually need it, and use the other rooms?

There was no shouting or demanding or anything though, so this might not fit the entitled disabled narative quite so well? But its a win-win there too, as either i was being entitled expecting to be able to use that room, or they were being entitled to use it when they could use the other!

the lockers being in there is a stupid set up.

Even if it was just a disabled cubicle that's still a stupid setup. If someone put medication/money for a cold drink in their locker, they'd be stuck if another user of that cubicle was in there when they needed their stuff out.

So many deletions on this thread.

I don't really recall anyone saying anything delete worthy however but I guess MN disagree

So hq can delete all the comments doubting the thread, but not reply to reports about the thread.

Cheers hq, well done on the new disability policy :(

Probably

My deleted message said something like "What's next, someoen proudly annoucing they beat a disabled perosn to death with their own walking stick whiel calling them out for using a blue badge."

But it's fine to advocate calling someone with a disability a cunt and telling them to fuck off.

Great priorities.

If am going to look like I have been rude and abusive because of deletions i almost may as well be (don't worry HQ I CBA)

oh yes calling someone disabled a cunt is okay, highlighting why that's wrong isn't.

That's weird jason.

Above shoudl read "What's next, someone proudly annoucing they beat a disabled perosn to death with their own walking stick whiel calling them out for using a blue badge."

Sorry, a few spelling errors.

I think what we really need Jason is more sad faces

I read all of Fanjo's posts and I don't recall her saying anything delete worthy.

Same with Beyond. I don't recall her saying anything that was worthy of deletion either.

yes spamming a thread with sad faces is okay... weird that.

Wouldn't it make sense in that scenario to have a wheelchair priority cubicle and then general disability cubicles, Beyond?

If it's not clear then I can understand why other disabled people would use that cubicle, although should morally give you priority if you both need to use it (although I wouldn't expect them to get out half-changed or anything.)

But better to avoid that entirely, by giving wheelchair users priority over that cubicle, with clear signage.