Disabled/baby change

[Babyred457]

Have NC for this as I have spoken to friends about it and don't want to be outed!

DH and I are members of the gym and pool at a local hotel and take baby DS (4 months) swimming there. It's not a large pool and has small communal changing rooms for men and women and then a separate family/disabled changing room. This is the only one with a baby change table and nappy bin so it's the one we always use when we take DS. It has 4 lockers in it so obviously if you use them then you take the risk that you might have to wait for someone else to finish before you can get in and get your stuff.

Today when we were swimming there was only one other person in the pool, a woman in her late 50s/early 60s. We left the pool and went into the family changing room and had just started getting DS changed when the woman started banging on the door, shouting that we had to let her in as she was disabled and this was the disabled changing room. DH opened the door, said that it was also the family changing room and that we were changing DS but that we'd be as quick as we could. She carried on shouting that we shouldn't be using the changing room, that she was disabled and we had to let her in. She was incredibly rude and was making such a scene that I said to DH just let her go first, so we wrapped DS in a towel and waited, poor DS was kicking off but so was this woman and I tend to back down when people challenge me. DH however was fuming and went and spoke to the manager (dripping everywhere!) who agreed that it was both a family and a disabled changing room and that it's first come first served, no one has priority.

FWIW the woman no obvious physical disability (although MN has taught me that not all disabilities are obvious) and I don't think there was any reason why she couldn't have waited five minutes, she was also extremely rude. Had she approached at the same time as us I'd probably have let her go first anyway but she saw us leave the pool and go in there with DS (you can see the changing room from the pool!) so clearly then took a deliberate decision to get out herself at that moment and start banging on the door in an extremely aggressive manner.

So who was BU? It's difficult because almost all the restaurants etc I go to have the baby changing facilities in the disabled toilets. I would always happily fold a buggy or get off a bus for a wheelchair user etc but should a person with a baby have to exit a disabled loo or changing room mid-change for a disabled person? After all what would the disabled person do if another disabled person was already using the facilities?

:(

Bishop I completely agree. It's far from ideal to have families and disabled people fighting over a changing room.

Do you need the baby change table when there are two adults taking a child swimming? I always used a towel on a bench/floor to change babies for swimming. I think the problem is having lockers in the changing room, why are they not on the poolside? Then people can grab their stuff and have options about where to actually change

I am not a troll and it did happen. You're welcome to report me and MN can verify that I'm a regular poster.

Why is this unbelievable? I don't understand.

People replying to tell her to fuck off and call her a cunt go and think about why someone who had a hidden disability might act in an unusually direct way with no understanding of social rules.do you like telling people to fuck off who have a learning disability for example? Probably. And there ends my input into this lovely thread.

YANBU. Although I have tried to use disabled toilets which because of a nappy changing bin, are not useable i.e. you can not actually turn a wheelchair round in them.

If you're a regular poster, surely you'll know that starting an AIBU thread entitled "Disabled/baby change" is basically lighting the touch paper and stepping back.

What were you expecting from this thread, exactly?

Oh dear, some threads just are better left IN SOMEONES HEAD!!!

anything that allows even an iota of vitriol of nastiness against disabled people is just fucking poor taste TBH

As it is a dual use changing room, I would have got dressed quickly.

If the waiting person was distressed- rather than angry, e.g. someone with asd who wasn't able to tolerate waiting easily- I would have quickly changed baby whilst DH got dressed, then I could have dressed in a normal changing room whilst DH took baby outside.

You were in your right to quickly change the baby's nappy, but then vacate to another changing room.

There should be enough space in the changing room to do a nappy on a towel, then put it in a nappy bag, until the bin is accessable.

It is annoying when there's two Adults with a baby, child, but they use the accessable room, tbh.

I've always found it selfish, when they use the family rooms, when they could manage between them in an ordinary changing space.

It used to annoy me when whole families used to go into the disabled toilet and be using the toilet, as well as just changing the baby. One Carer using the toilet, is obviously ok.

Jason is your sad face button stuck?

Oh, FFS.

A baby can be changed on a lap. Or on a towel on a floor.

A disabled person can't and as soon as she asked for the changing room you should have given it to her. She may well have had medication or equipment in one of the lockers that she needed urgently.

Why did you name change?