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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Disabled/baby change

585 replies

Babyred457 · 22/06/2016 13:10

Have NC for this as I have spoken to friends about it and don't want to be outed!

DH and I are members of the gym and pool at a local hotel and take baby DS (4 months) swimming there. It's not a large pool and has small communal changing rooms for men and women and then a separate family/disabled changing room. This is the only one with a baby change table and nappy bin so it's the one we always use when we take DS. It has 4 lockers in it so obviously if you use them then you take the risk that you might have to wait for someone else to finish before you can get in and get your stuff.

Today when we were swimming there was only one other person in the pool, a woman in her late 50s/early 60s. We left the pool and went into the family changing room and had just started getting DS changed when the woman started banging on the door, shouting that we had to let her in as she was disabled and this was the disabled changing room. DH opened the door, said that it was also the family changing room and that we were changing DS but that we'd be as quick as we could. She carried on shouting that we shouldn't be using the changing room, that she was disabled and we had to let her in. She was incredibly rude and was making such a scene that I said to DH just let her go first, so we wrapped DS in a towel and waited, poor DS was kicking off but so was this woman and I tend to back down when people challenge me. DH however was fuming and went and spoke to the manager (dripping everywhere!) who agreed that it was both a family and a disabled changing room and that it's first come first served, no one has priority.

FWIW the woman no obvious physical disability (although MN has taught me that not all disabilities are obvious) and I don't think there was any reason why she couldn't have waited five minutes, she was also extremely rude. Had she approached at the same time as us I'd probably have let her go first anyway but she saw us leave the pool and go in there with DS (you can see the changing room from the pool!) so clearly then took a deliberate decision to get out herself at that moment and start banging on the door in an extremely aggressive manner.

So who was BU? It's difficult because almost all the restaurants etc I go to have the baby changing facilities in the disabled toilets. I would always happily fold a buggy or get off a bus for a wheelchair user etc but should a person with a baby have to exit a disabled loo or changing room mid-change for a disabled person? After all what would the disabled person do if another disabled person was already using the facilities?

OP posts:
ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:32
Sad
Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 15:32

sayign you are going to hit the white guy next to you is okay as well.

Buckinbronco · 22/06/2016 15:33
Sad
Buckinbronco · 22/06/2016 15:34
Sad
ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:34

All of the deleted posts are hurting my eyes Sad

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 15:34

"Hi all,

Sorry for the mass mail,

Thank you for all your reports about that thread - we're going through this.

Best wishes,
MNHQ"

Buckinbronco · 22/06/2016 15:34
Sad
ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:34
Sad
MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 22/06/2016 15:34

she was being extremely rude and arrogant.

Not your fault the swimming place hasn't provided seperate changing areas. It's the only place with a changing mat and you were well within your rights to use it!

I haven't read the thread but I bet some people have told you you were in the wrong Hmm. Try not to rely on MN to justify your actions because you know you didn't do anything wrong.

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 15:35

It would appear (?) that mnhq have misinterpreted the reports again, like they did with maryz the other day. Either that or yes, calling a disabled person a cunt for wanting to use their facilities is hunky dory with hq.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:36

I have the same e-mail now Beyond

Sad
ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:36

I'm hungry.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:36
Sad
NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 22/06/2016 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 15:36

I'm grease

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 15:36

I dont think my post about this thread lighting up the wanker batsignal was either a personal attack or troll hunting?

NavyAndWhite · 22/06/2016 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 22/06/2016 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:37

Do you think MNHQ will give us a warning for posting so many sad faces?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 22/06/2016 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 22/06/2016 15:38
Envy
ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KatherineMumsnet · 22/06/2016 15:38

Hi all,

We know this is an emotive topic, and one that's popping up a lot at the moment, but we don't - and won't - shut down debate, no matter how well-worn it might be. The OP is quite genuine, as far as we can see. Please don't troll hunt and de-rail the thread.

What we all can do with is support and open discussion free from attack.
As ever, if you see anything you're unsure of, please do report it to us and we'll happily take a look.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 15:38

No spamming is fine.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 22/06/2016 15:39

Because if they're going to give us a warning then Sad