What's with all the slag off my kid's father posts

[Clarke83]

I'm on Facebook. Mainly I use it to keep up with family who live far away but I also occasionally check in at the local cinema, restaurant, soft play etc. I realise that people use Facebook for a variety of reasons but why use it as a forum to air your grievances and anger with your ex and father of your children?

Seriously it's not even Father's Day until tomorrow and I've already seen a ton of posts from people slagging off their child's father or "sperm donor" as they put it, calling them a waste of space and how they are complete d*k h**s. Why do women do this, why so they stoop to such a level?

I was a single mother for two years when my husband of 12 years upped and left me and his two young children for another woman. I'm now in a happy long term relationship but I'll admit I'm still rather angry with my ex and can never forgive him for walking out on his children. But I don't chose to voice that anger to my friends and sometimes even strangers on Facebook. I know people are different but why do this, there's no need for it. Aibu here?

I know you said that you don't go out much but what's wrong with texting or phoning a friend to discuss the situation and vent. You didn't need to post it on Facbeook did you.

No I didn't..I rarely post anything about ex or even think about him.. Whats wrong with me posting it on fb its my wall..I have done nothing to be ashamed of he has..

Should I hide my feelings away..I hid his behaviour when we were together and ended up in a refuge..

You don't have higher morals than me ..You deal with things differently..

No one said that you should hide your feelings away. No one should have to do that. But why couldn't you just pick up the telephone and contact a friend to vent your frustration.

Lol. Well I can only apologise.

I do "get it". But what I don't get it why you think that just because I check in (probably once a year) at soft play that somehow makes me a great parent.

Exactly. I have my eldest ds and a lot of his friends parents on Facebook and I guarantee if I slagged his dad off (even I hid the post from him) it would get back to him some how.

The whole POINT of FB is attention seeking really. This is what I think, this is what I am doing, this is what I am happy about, this is what I am sad about. I love it because I want to keep up with what my friends and family are doing, see pics etc. I have some great friends who post really thoughtful stuff And link to news articles, and nice places to go on holiday, and places to eat etc etc If it Annoyed me to the point I had to moan about it to strangers then I would just deregister.

No one said that you should hide your feelings away. No one should have to do that. But why couldn't you just pick up the telephone and contact a friend to vent your frustration

why should i ? I didn't want to chat to one person.. I had some lovely , some very helpful comments. The situation yesterday is nothing I was expected, never read about anywhere before and certainly wasn't expecting... Why do people post on MN because they want perspective and advice from more than one person..

But I don't chose to voice that anger to my friends and sometimes even strangers on Facebook.

The people on my FB are not strangers ...My privacy setting mean only my friends read it... I would like to think if I can't ask them for a bit of support once in a blue moon they would delete me.

I also see it as the, belittling themselves. A few of my fb friends do that and I find it pathetic.

I'm talking about older children ie teenagers who are old enough to use Facebook. They are obviously to old for soft play so it's irrelevant. But what is relevant and rather convening is them seeing their mother on Facebook publicly slating their father.

Gosh, some weird responses here.

Of course you shouldn't slag off your kids father in front of them and putting it on facebook is more than likely putting it in front of them.

my fb is full of it

it just makes the person posting it look immature, and I feel a bit embarrassed for them

I agree that they are belittling themselves. If you have family and friends to talk to then you shouldn't need to announce your private life to the world.

Err, men do it too! This isnt just a woman thing.

Do you think the same of men who do the same?

My dd is well aware of what a selfish useless cunt my ex is and she figured that out by herself! Despite me trying to protect her. It's actually a relief now that she's older and says much the same and often worse about him than I do!

You do fb your way I'll do it mine. Doesn't make you morally superior or me inferior. My dearest friends aren't near by and not even in my time zone some so I don't think they'd appreciate a phone call at 5am their time!

I have my settings so that it's only my fb 'friends' that can see my posts. They all know the situation and think that actually the fact I merely vent on fb sometimes shows infinite patience!

As many pp's have said if you don't like it hide it, I'm certain you're posting stuff that pisses folk off too!

If the DC deserve a bit of privacy then the OP shouldn't be checking in at soft play or posting any photos at all.

Hardly on the same level as slagging off their father on Facebook. They may well deserve a slagging off but is it the best thing for the child for it to be posted online?