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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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What's with all the slag off my kid's father posts

208 replies

Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 17:52

I'm on Facebook. Mainly I use it to keep up with family who live far away but I also occasionally check in at the local cinema, restaurant, soft play etc. I realise that people use Facebook for a variety of reasons but why use it as a forum to air your grievances and anger with your ex and father of your children?

Seriously it's not even Father's Day until tomorrow and I've already seen a ton of posts from people slagging off their child's father or "sperm donor" as they put it, calling them a waste of space and how they are complete d*k h**s. Why do women do this, why so they stoop to such a level?

I was a single mother for two years when my husband of 12 years upped and left me and his two young children for another woman. I'm now in a happy long term relationship but I'll admit I'm still rather angry with my ex and can never forgive him for walking out on his children. But I don't chose to voice that anger to my friends and sometimes even strangers on Facebook. I know people are different but why do this, there's no need for it. Aibu here?

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emilybrontescorset · 18/06/2016 18:12

Why post anything on fb?

The posts that really piss me off are those gushing, fawning posts declaring undenying love for their partner.

It's not even their birthday just an ordinary day and they post these sick inducing splurge.
I don't want to see that.

That should go without saying.

Anniegetyourgun · 18/06/2016 18:14

When you've spent a quarter of a century being emotionally abused it's quite cathartic to have a good slagging off session once in a while. Father's Day isn't a particularly good time for it, but then again, if he's a dick on every other day of the year then it's more than likely he'll still be one tomorrow.

Mind you I've never slagged my ex off on Facebook. To be fair, if I had a Facebook account I probably would

Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:17

Lucky? I didn't class myself as lucky when my husband had an affair for over two years and then two weeks after our second child was born (in SCBU with respiratory problems) upped and left us. He left a letter to "explain" his reasons and that was that. I've not seen him since. I managed to pick myself up, start a new career and meet a new partner so in a sense I may be lucky now but I certainly wasn't back then. The difference is I have my morals and dignity and I wasn't about to shatter them by airing my dirty laundry in public.

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Just5minswithDacre · 18/06/2016 18:18

What's with all the slag off my kid's father posts

How are we supposed to know?

We don't have the same FB friends as you do.

Why don't you ask them? Or get some new friends?

Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:19

Well I don't do the slagging my kids father off posts not do I do the oh look how perfect my life is with my perfect partner post either. I only post things that I'm happy for my friends to see and tbsy doesn't include things that will probably piss them off.

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starry0ne · 18/06/2016 18:20

Posted about my ex yesterday.. I was and am still furious.. It is something my DS will be protected from.. I got lots of support from friends and some people I am not very close to..It really helped me..I have been able to move on today even though I do remain angry at my ex on behalf of my DS...

My Last night out was Christmas so not likely to meet up with a gorup of friends and chat about it over cocktails any time soon. I removed post this morning as it isn't something I want popping up on time hop in the future..

I would not of posted it had my ds been on fb.. But actually yes sometimes it is good to express what a waste of space they are..

I hate I love you posts when couples are in the same bloody room ..Talk to each other.

Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:20

Not all of my friends on Facebook are actual friends. Some are but some are old work colleagues, school mates, etc.

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Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:22

I know you said that you don't go out much but what's wrong with texting or phoning a friend to discuss the situation and vent. You didn't need to post it on Facbeook did you.

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wannabestressfree · 18/06/2016 18:22

I agree and I think posters are being obtuse. I had all the passive aggressive 'you know who you are' when they wouldn't say a word normally....
So you are definitely not being unreasonable..

MitzyLeFrouf · 18/06/2016 18:22

I kind of agree OP, especially if there's a chance their own kids might read it or hear about it. Save it for an evening when you're with friends having a bottle of wine and a good cathartic rant.

Just5minswithDacre · 18/06/2016 18:23

Just unfollow or unfriend the undignified and the oversharers. Easy.

I haven't seen a single father slagged off. It really does depend on who you are following.

TealLove · 18/06/2016 18:23

If you've been through it surely you understand how fucked off they are !

usual · 18/06/2016 18:24

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fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 18/06/2016 18:24

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fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 18/06/2016 18:25

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amarmai · 18/06/2016 18:28

Maybe they want everyone to know how he treated them and their kids?

SoddingPufflers · 18/06/2016 18:28

Your FB feed is as good as the friends you have. In my book, if they are complaining about something, enjoying something, doing something, then as they are my friends I would sympathise or enjoy or "like" as appropriate. Yes, sometimes people can be annoying sometimes. If they are repeatedly annoying I would block them.

Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:29

I said I check in occasionally (I think I've done it two/three times this year). I rarely post pictures of my children and I never post pics of meals.

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fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 18/06/2016 18:30

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Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:30

But why do you want everyone on your Facebook to know how you've been treated? Family members and close friends fair enough but anything more and I'm sorry but it's purely attention seeking.

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itsmine · 18/06/2016 18:31

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Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:31

Probably i have. But my posts aren't nasty or viscous. There's just no need for that.

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ricketytickety · 18/06/2016 18:32

FB is an arsehole filter. If someone pisses me off on it for any reason I hide em or defriend if I don't ever see them in rl. I don't think you should see anything that makes you feel upset. If they post that sort of stuff, the def need to be hidden at least. Your fb, your rules!! They won't know!

fuckincuntbuggerinarse · 18/06/2016 18:32

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Clarke83 · 18/06/2016 18:33

So me checking in to soft play is attention seeking. How exactly?

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