To fall out with OH over questions?!

[Georgeofthejungle]

My OH and I had what I would say is our first proper arguement. He was off with me, I asked him what was up and he told me he doesn't like how I speak to him sometimes. He says I snap at him when he asks me stuff and make comments which make him feel a bit rubbish.
Now I totally know I do this (well not the comments bit, I don't like that), but I can see me doing this and understand why I feels like that. But the reason is because I am so fed up of him asking me things before he has even remotely thought about the answer for himself. It drives me crazy.

For example:
After our darling little dog decided to wee on the floor - where's the floor cleaner? It's always in the same place and he knows this. I said where do you think it could be and he tells me where it is. So why ask me?!

Changing our DS - has he got clothes? You know full well he does and you know where they are kept.

Making tea - how do I cook this/how long does this take? Read the bloody packaging.

These are a tiny few examples of the automatic questions I get constantly (I should note these are not my actual responses but what I'm screaming in my head(. Now I 100% wouldn't have any objection if he had taken a second to think and genuinely didn't know but this is simple stuff that he could quite easily use his own brain to work out. I explained this to him and also explained that when he is helping out with DS or Making dinner it's so great but with the constant questions I feel like I be aswell have done it myself! And it doesn't give me a chance to switch off. He says I'm weird and that that's how people communicate and he doesn't understand why I get so annoyed. I said how will he learn if he keeps asking me, how does he think i know these things or find out when he asks me?! Then he stomped off to the shower and we've not spoken since (this was about 10.30 last night).

Am I right to be so frustrated by it? I feel bad to make him feel rubbish but It really does drive me crazy. If he just thought about things for a split second he'd know the answer to most of the questions he asks me! Arghhhh.

[Georgeofthejungle]

Oh no! We've had a regression!!!!

Background info.. Family BBQ. Sausages on the BBQ at end of the day when everyone has had their fill. Everyone sitting inside.

It went like this...

OH What will i put the sausages in?
Me What do you want to put them in?
OH I don't know, are people wanting more?
Me I don't know. You're doing it again.
OH I'm not, I genuinely want some advice on this.
Me I really don't care what you put the susuages in.
OH stomps off to the kitchen to find something to put the sausages in, comes back with a perfect dish full of sausages and offers people a sausage.
The end.

I did good didn't I?! :D

I'm actually laughing out loud at this - genuine need for advice on sausage containers! He actually picked a better dish than I would have suggested!

[MarkRuffaloCrumble]

keep at it, he'll get the message eventually!

[Vickyyyy]

I have the exact same issue, and he has the same issue with me too...apparently I am snappy with him. Well yes, I get 200 questions a day from our 3 year old, I do not need the same thing from a fully grown adult. It has been the same thing now for 9 years...drives me crazy. I thought it was just us so reading this thread is refreshing lol

[Vickyyyy]

Ah, yes, I know this pain so well!
I often reply to inane and pointless questions from my Dp with Noises rather than words.
Just noises.
Like "Uuuurgh?" And "Eeeeeeh?"
Cos some of the questions just don't warrant words anymore.

--

I may try this, I expect I will just get the 'are you crazy' look

[PumpkinPies38]

Today my husband was out and on his way home and I texted him asking him to collect four grocery items from the supermarket. He replied "do we just need those three things?" I said actually it's four things and listed them again. He then called me from the supermarket on the same phone the text was on asking what the things were as he was having a mental block.

[waitingforsomething]

It sounds a little irritating but it's very hurtful to speak to someone like this regularly. If he spoke to you like that every day how would you feel? I would be very upset if I were you that I'd made someone feel shit. Perhaps he just doesn't feel all that self confident, or perhaps he thinks you'll snap at him if he gets it wrong so best to check. Perhaps he can't win?

Can't help thinking if you had posted saying your DH spoke to you like this all the time Mn would have something to say about it.

[Georgeofthejungle]

We've had another incident but noted improvement.

In the conservatory.

OH She's too hot George (the dog).
Me OK
OH What should we do
Me Ermmmm
OH Oh she likes ice cubes, let's see if there is any.

This training proramme is going well!

[Georgeofthejungle]

Totally agree something - hence why I wanted to do something about it. If you read the thread you'll see some more info.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

I caught him putting double the recommended amount of fabric conditioner in the wash the other night and my immediate reaction was "Wtf are you doing?! Have you actually looked at how you're meant to use that?" Of course, he hadn't. I explained that there's a handy line in the cap to show him how much and he was just baffled by this.

I stopped buying concentrated washing up liquid because DH seems totally incapable of realising that you don't put in the same amount as you would if it was unconcentrated.

[lookbeforeyouleap]

My DP does this too. Drives me bonkers.

[Autumnchill]

OH: which gate do we need to go to?
Me: you have your ticket
OH: yes but what gate is it? Is it gate M?
Me: What does it say on your ticket
OH: Gate M