To find it annoying if men try n do certain things for me, like open car doors or help with chairs

[LardLizard]

Ffs I can open the car door myself and seat down at a table without help

Many years ago while waiting for a bus I watched a young teenage boy opposite waiting outside a shop, as a woman approached to enter he stepped forward and opened the door for her - she tore a strip off him for being sexist etc. And did he think that she wasn't capable of opening a door...

A few minutes later another woman approached, so he didn't step forward and open the door, yes you guessed right, she tore a strip off him for not being a gentleman, youth having no respect for their elders etc etc...

What will he grow up learning about women?! :)

If someone is courteous towards you, just say thank you, it is unlikely that they are on a power trip or trying to prove something.... YABU

I teach my son to do this, its polite! Serially offended much huh OP? YABU not only unreasonable but ridiculous.

Of course it's polite, Yabu op.

What really pisses me off is when they grab the other end of the pram without asking me if I need any help going up/down steps.

I live up two flights of stairs. Quite capable of managing my own child in public. Ta very much.

Out of interest, which acts of politeness, if any, wouldn't offend? Holding a door open? Offering to help with suitcases if you look like you're struggling? Offering a seat on a bus if you were pregnant?

Bastard polite men

Whilst I am perfectly capable of doing things for myself, it is nice to have a door held open for you, or help given with bags of shopping by ds, or mugs of tea made for you. I open doors, including car ones, for other women as well. It is just courteous.

I have brought ds up to do these things, and at 20, he still does them. Should I not have bought him up to hold a door open, or to help someone with heavy lifting?

My dp opens the car door for me if we're in his car. I interpret it as being a nice way to show me that he cares about me, rather than considering him a massive cunt for doing so.

The 'it's just being polite' people, if you are female do you (when driving with a companion) get out, rush across to the other person's door and open it? If you are a man a) do you do do this to other men? b) would you be OK if a woman did it to you? In all cases, if not, why not?

Opening doors for other people when you are in front of them if indeed good manners and polite, but that's not what this OP is talking about.

What really pisses me off is when they grab the other end of the pram without asking me if I need any help going up/down steps.

what sort of turbo Cunt would try to help you. They should know perfectly well that you live up two flights of stairs. Whatever next

Alternatively, you could get over yourself.

I could never wait for a man to open a car door for me. That would feel weird and awkward. But I do always let a chap usher me through a door first. Not sure why, although my father will still let me go first.

Because I am a straight woman therefore I only have relationships with men. I wouldn't expect a male or female friend to open the car door for me, and I don't expect dp to do it either, but he does because we're in a relationship and he obviously thinks it's a nice thing to do.

I get out and open the c are door for my Mum, who was female the last time I looked.

I love the fact I'm a woman, love it! I'm not insecure about what I am.

I also know that we are different, I have taught my son to respect women and actually put them first. Mother nature and all that.

Oh, and to be clear, I don't sit in the car WAITING for him to let me out, I make my own way out, but he does it when we're about to get in the car.

Nope utterly not bothered by it. I open doors for others etc too

FFS they are opening a door NOT touching you up.

I open doors for those think are older than me.

I offer my seat to pregnant women .

I get fuckingnhackedoff standing on public transport when a young gobshite is lolling in a seat.

FFS get a life!

So Littlefluffyclouds81 it's not a general politeness thing then, but a courtesy only boyfriends/husbands perform for their girlfriends/wives? That's fine if they know you like that sort of thing, but a bit presumptuous otherwise isn't it? How do you think he would he react if you opened the door for him by the way?

I open the door for my mother, she is old and quite disabled, and appreciates any help. I open the door for my children if they are feeling rough, or my husband if he's got lots of bags on his lap or otherwise needs help. I'm generally quite nice really. I offer to carry heavy things, give up my seat, open doors, carry buggies up stairs etc etc. I teach my children (male and female) to do the same. I just don't bring the sex of the person I am offering help into my decision as to whether they might need assistance.

The things people get upset and annoyed about on here get stranger every day.

He's the only person I've ever dated who does open the door for me, and I think it's sweet. I can't imagine being offended by it/getting worked up by it/turning it into an issue. I don't think being on the receiving end of chivalry is demeaning to me as a woman. I do nice things for him too.

What does annoy me, though, is when I'm reversing into a parking space (quite competently, I can assure you) and a man feels fit to start giving me directions ( it always is a man) when I haven't asked for it

This happened to me and I can't believe how it made me, and I mean

Took my car in for a service and was asked to park it in one of the bays on the forecourt. One bloke stood actually IN the parking bay waving his arms about (like he thought he was helping!??) to which I said, "Sorry but can you get out of the way, I can't reverse it in with you standing in the way."

Then another bloke rocks up and says "would you like me to park it for you Madam?"

I think I nearly exploded!! And that's coming from someone who normally doesn't mind having the door opened by a man. Talk about sexist shit.

YABU and a drama queen. It's called having manners.

OP I think you should make a note and send the notes to a sociologist because in the 21st century I see very little of men leaping forward to open car doors (haven't seen this for years) or helping with chairs (can't remember ever seeing this). tell us where you live (daily mailland ???)so we can all go and enjoy this utopia of gentlemanliness.

I had another reply talking about my experience of having a father who was mannerly and kind and who instilled in his daughters standards of what they would accept in men.

But then I wrote my first paragraph and thought about the number of men leaping forward to pull out chairs for women and open doors and decided it it probably negative 10 in this century. Have you ever tried to get a seat on public transport while pregnant?

If you are really plagued by men pulling out seats and opening doors for you I suggest you post your home town here. We'd all like to live there.

for you OP.

daisy they were only trying to help. Men tend to be better at parking that women.

Offering unsolicited parking advice is rude
Opening a door for someone is polite.
Grabbing a buggy without asking is a bit odd
Saying 'can I get that for you?' And offering to help with a buggy is polite.
Being rude to someone who has offered is rude
Saying 'thanks but I got this' is not rude.

Hope that clears that up (that was slightly PA and snarky.)

The car door thing is odd - although when I was heavily pregnant and immobile dh would always pop round, open the door and help me out.

In summary, offering to help is polite. Forcing assistance isn't.