to think we can afford to have a baby on our income?

[LeilaBell]

DH and I have been talking about starting a family for some time. We both want to start a family, but we disagree on the timing.

DH says we possibly couldn't afford to have children in London on our current income, so we should wait until our salaries hopefully go up in a few years.We both feel ready for a baby but DH thinks our income in London is not enough to start a family, while I think we would be just fine.

Our household income (two earners) is nearly £70k a year, we have no mortgage/ rent (inherited a two bedroom property) and no debt. On top of that we aren't big spenders, so we have a good amount of savings for maternity leave/ emergencies.

I think that given our income we can afford at least a baby (if not two!). Perhaps I think so just because I am naive and I don't realize how expensive babies/ children are?

AIBU to think we can afford a baby already? Are children so much expensive than I think? Is having children in London only for the millionaires nowadays?

But the massive difference is trijo needs to pay rent- that equates to a huge proportion of their income.

You'll find you'll spend money on different things. You won't be pointlessly spending £250 a week on stuff, for a start.

I can almost empathise with your OH. I had a very privileged childhood, being educated overseas but the career path I've chosen means I'm now dirt poor. It's very hard knowing my children won't enjoy the same lifestyle I had, but equally they know no different and I like to hope that they lead very happy lives which are privileged in different ways. I think you need to work out what sort of lifestyle you wish for your children and how expensive this will be. If an extra £20k means you can finance this then perhaps wait but if you are unlikely to achieve this within the next 20 years, and you both do want children, then you need to accept their lives will be different to yours. You have enough income for them to have plenty of opportunities, it's just whether this is sufficient for your DH. Best of luck whatever happens.

In London, even with no mortgage expenses, you can only expect to put one child through private day school on £70K a year annual income and it will be tight.

If your dh is expecting you to SAHM at any point, it is not doable.

The best is to get his parents to subsidise the private school fees. Or change jobs.

The best is to get his parents to subsidise the private school fees. Or change jobs.

Or maybe be really radical and cut your cloth according to your circumstances

Bear, this is assuming the OP and her dh want to use private school. Without private school, it is affordable on £70K a year with no mortgage in London.

Affordability hinges on private school.

You might want to RTFT blue the whole issue has arisen because he wants to give his children the privileged upbringing he had.

Bear, are we on the same thread?

What part of a privileged upbringing does not involve private school. OP herself brought up the issue of her PILs paying for private education. OP's dh went to private school. Maybe you need to read more closely.

It's a shortsighted naively worded question.
It would have been better to ask 'Can we afford to put a child through private education whilst living in London and maintaining our privileged lifestyle?'

Yes we are on the same thread blueshoes

You are assuming that any children will have to go to private school. I agree that that will make a huge dent in their salary but the point I'm making is, on their income, they can't afford the privileged lifestyle he had.

He seems to have some ridiculous pipe dream of part time/ flexible hours in order to do 50% child care whilst earning a mega salary in a field that doesn't pay fabulously even at the top level - £60k as a director in the top of your field isn't going to maintain the privileged upbringing of an expat in the 80's and 90's.

The OP said they wanted to make it on their own which does not include allowing your PIL to pay for private school. Obviously they can choose to let them pay but that's hardly making it on your own is it?

It has proved to be an interesting question.

At first I thought, yes that will be easy, now I am not so sure,
It is difficult to accept that your children may not have what you yourself had as a child because circumstances have changed so massively since then. Its so easy to have an unrealistic head-in-the-sand attitude that things will work out somehow, when they may prove difficult.

Two people working full time with still nothing to spare: no holidays, no music/sports/other lessons; no family outings would not be the most enjoyable way to have children, though that's how most people have to I think.