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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel excluded from my child's education before it even begins?

146 replies

Throwmynameaway · 23/05/2016 21:53

School has an induction evening in a couple of weeks. The letter says that it's for parents only (bolded and underlined) and children can not be accommodated. Letter also mentions how important the evening is to meet teachers and get first week info. No mention of alternative dates or times to meet the teachers or get this induction info if you can't attend. I'm a single parent and have no one to baby sit so my options are to ignore the underlining and billing and hope they don't make a big deal out of me taking my child or to miss out on the induction. We haven't even started school and already my child is excluded just because I'm a single parent without a family/friend support network. And it's not just single parents. Anyone else who has other children and no babysitter and a partner who works can't attend.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Throwmynameaway · 23/05/2016 21:54

Bolding* Blush

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 23/05/2016 21:54

You have two weeks to find a babysitter. They can't have a hall filled with baby siblings.

EarthboundMisfit · 23/05/2016 21:55

Call them and see what they say.

SharonStrzelecki · 23/05/2016 21:55

YANBU. Have you tried ringing the school to see if they can make an exception for your child?

CocktailQueen · 23/05/2016 21:57

I'd try really hard to find someone to look after your DC. Don't take them if you've been asked not to! There's obviously info to take in and it would be much harder with lots of DC there.

Or ring the school and ask if they're running a crèche for the event, or if there are alternatives. But don't start on the wrong foot with school!

ReturnoftheWhack · 23/05/2016 21:57

There is nothing more infuriating than going to a parents evening and hearing other people's kids scream and holler and you can't hear a thing.

Get used to it OP, most school invites say no siblings.

Original poster
Throwmynameaway · 23/05/2016 21:59

Just to clarify, it's not a sibling. It's the child who will be starting school.

I have thought about ringing the school but I am really worried about marking myself out as a parent who causes hassle. But at the same time, if I don't go, I'm a parent who already doesn't care enough about school stuff.

OP posts:
MrsJoeyMaynard · 23/05/2016 22:00

Could you call the school and explain the situation, to see if there's any alternative way of getting the information?

Alanna1 · 23/05/2016 22:00

Speak to the school. If your difficulty is actually financial, say so.

ReturnoftheWhack · 23/05/2016 22:01

Do you have anyone you could ask to watch her? Is her Dad involved at all?

Lovewineandchocs · 23/05/2016 22:02

I don't think she's talking about younger siblings-I think she means the child who will be attending the school? I'd phone them OP and try to sort something.

Wolfiefan · 23/05/2016 22:02

i would try and find a babysitter.
Or contact the school. You may find another teacher is there and can sit with your child. I wouldn't want a 4 year old to hear a presentation meant for parents about their new school.

Princesspeach1980 · 23/05/2016 22:02

I would call the school and explain, ask if you could come in separately for half an hour during the day, with your dc, to meet the teacher and get the information you need. That way they can offer for you to bring dc to the evening, or accommodate you during the day.

Lovewineandchocs · 23/05/2016 22:02

Sorry x post Smile

Balletgirlmum · 23/05/2016 22:04

All these babysitters who are magically available!

YANBU. Both my children's schools made provisions at these information events.

Catmuffin · 23/05/2016 22:05

Could you find out how much a sitter from Sitters.com would cost and see if you could afford to hire someone?

whatsonyourplate · 23/05/2016 22:05

I'd phone and check, you don't have to say which parent you are, just that your child is starting in September. The letter may just be emphasis that children don't have to attend, not that they aren't allowed to.

RainbowsAndUnicorns5 · 23/05/2016 22:05

Oh gosh you have a looooong road ahead of you

Catmuffin · 23/05/2016 22:06

Sorry sitters.co.uk

steppemum · 23/05/2016 22:08

one reason they don't want kids there is because some of the things they say are adult only, and the kids are old enough to understand.

eg, our school talks about safeguarding.
also they talk about some things that you/they may experience (eg very tired, or very stroppy after long day at school) and they don't want to put ideas into their head.

Added to that, if you let the 4/5 year olds in, you also let in younger siblings and then it is not possible to hear anything.

Do you never leave your child? I cannot imagine getting to 4 years old and never ever leaving them. If so, who do you leave them with?

Do ring the school. Generally there is a firm line in the letter, but some flexibility behind the scenes.

LittleNelle · 23/05/2016 22:09

Just call the school, chances are they'll make another appointment for you or send you the info.

Numbkinnuts · 23/05/2016 22:11

Does your child currently go to play group or preschool. ? If so could you not ask a member of staff to babysit for you ?

SellFridges · 23/05/2016 22:11

I'll be honest, this was the instruction given at our school's induction evening (conveniently held at 5:30 for maximum disruption for working parents). We went to great efforts to get grandparents to look after the baby and collect DD from nursery which closes before the event was over.

We arrived and there were at least 10 children there, with even more siblings. I was furious. The theme has continued at concerts, parents evenings and other events. It's really unfair on those parents who go out of their way (and yes, that includes paying for sitters) to stick to the request. Please investigate a babysitter.

TwoLeftSocks · 23/05/2016 22:12

Ring the school, they'll understand. You really won't be the first and of you ask to pop in another time they'll get that you care about your dc starting.

tinybellows · 23/05/2016 22:16

I'm in the same position- induction evening for parents soon. I'm a lone parent with no help. I've hired a babysitter for dc.

It's not ideal as I'm quite skint, but it's necessary as I've got to go. It didn't occur to me to be cross - it's not an appropriate event for kids, and that's that really.

I'm sure if you can't attend then they will be able to sent the relevant info on, or you can ask questions as and when you need to know stuff.