To feel excluded from my child's education before it even begins?

[Throwmynameaway]

School has an induction evening in a couple of weeks. The letter says that it's for parents only (bolded and underlined) and children can not be accommodated. Letter also mentions how important the evening is to meet teachers and get first week info. No mention of alternative dates or times to meet the teachers or get this induction info if you can't attend. I'm a single parent and have no one to baby sit so my options are to ignore the underlining and billing and hope they don't make a big deal out of me taking my child or to miss out on the induction. We haven't even started school and already my child is excluded just because I'm a single parent without a family/friend support network. And it's not just single parents. Anyone else who has other children and no babysitter and a partner who works can't attend.

AIBU?

Ring the school op as others have said and arrange another time, 2 weeks is not enough time to arrange a sitter you and your child have never previously met.

There are loads of suggestions but i would never use a neighbour or even be able to ask if i knew them, ask a teenager or lots of the other suggestions.

I do agree op what people say about needing some support for emergencies or if you end up in hospital is correct, its something i worry about and sort for the future.

It hard if your not a person who makes friends easily or like me extremely cautious of family let alone strangers.

Some people on this thread cant imagine that another mother may have no friends or none that are close, no family, children truly have no other parent( could be dead, in another country, in prison or escaping abuse), that sitting services dont cover your area, that you dont know you neighbours, that you child didnt attend nursery school, that you cant afford a registered sitter and umpteen other things.

Contact the school, i think they will be more understanding than some on this thread.

Seeing as you are think I shouldn't post so much Lelloteddy you don't actually seem to have read them! I was a single parent for the first 7 yrs. As a widow I didn't even have an ex partner to pay babysitting charges. I also didn't pay extortionate prices. I found ones willing to do it cheaply.
Atenco - Gingerbread was for single parents to meet. We all got babysitters! There were day time things but it was important to have time without the children. I was a single parent in the 80s.

Sorry- thinking not think.

What do you do when at work, op?

Yabu. You're not being excluded. A childless meeting at 5.30 put you in the same boat as:

1. All single parents
2. All parents where both work full time office hours.
3. All families where even one parent works full time office hours.

So, pretty much everyone. This will come up often, you need to find a solution - I use: neighbours/friends/babysitters/nurseries/after school clubs/grandparents etc etc

Friends are often at the same meeting.
I do wish they would live stream it.
Goodness my DH has conferences with people all,round Europe ....from our house.

Use technology? Why not? Email if you have a question.

We arent going to ours. As i asked school when the settling events would likely be, back in Oct 2015. They wouldnt say, nursery though july. So we booked holiday. Typical this is right in the middle. Dd is also missing a settling in event, though luckily its a short one. Rather PO TBH. As ended up feeling guilty for going in term time, shes not even at school yet. Actually though theres almost not 1 week there isnt something going on.

But if it was a different date it like ops school is child free, so we wouldnt both be able to go. Plus as im bf an under 1 yo its not as easy as just leave both dc with dp.

So i agree with op they could make it easier. I think the pp suggestions that its concurrent with the kids settling in times makes a lot of sense.
Maybe they could do with recording the meetings

Goodness my DH has conferences with people all,round Europe ....from our house.

Use technology? Why not?

Well for a start, many people these days don't have a desktop PC or laptop. Or can afford the software to make conference calls from their home PC if they have one. Most of the parents at the school where I work use their phones to access the internet.

Do people not belong to babysitting circles any more? I used to, years ago, and we swapped tokens when we babysat. I was a single parent but could babysit during the days at the weekend to earn my tokens which I then cashed in when I needed a babysitter.

You're not being excluded from anything. How do you think the rest of us manage to do these things?

Yanbu. I don't have anyone either and live a significant distance away from school. But when I made school applications some years ago, I read the news letters online of the different schools I applied for and avoided ones that said never bring siblings or children to anything because of this.

My children's school does an event every year for new children and children moving up. It's at 7.30 in the evening and children are welcome to come and meet their next teacher. It's a lovely event and very inclusive of all families.

"Surburban" one size doesn't fit all. it would have helped me in the past and I am sure a lot of others who might choose that instead of attending a meeting.

FreshHorizons, well I and the other single parents I knew at the time did not have the income for a babysitter, but I'm glad it was useful for you.

My children school is very inclusive - but we've used one in the past that wasn't.

Even parents evenings we are encouraged to being the children. It does work well.

You won't be the only one to bring in a child so do what you have to do. There are some harsh comments on here. Most meetings at our school have parents who turn up with a child, who cares really? It really doesn't bother me. If they make a noise they usually go to the back with them or take them out. Teachers People on here will say it isn't the schools responsibility to arrange childcare, well no it isn't but if schools want parents collaborating with their children's education then they need to be accommodating!

"Surburban" one size doesn't fit all

Sorry, don't know what you mean by this.

meetings work for some parents ( those with babysitters easily available)

Written leaflets for others

Recordings or live streaming for those who can't be there in person ( sometimes work won't give you time off, no matter how far in advance you try and book)

Meetings with children included work for others.

I meant "suburban" that you need a range of strategies and options.

The thing is, if you had to attend something that really really really absolutely had to be child free, like surgery for example ("just sit there quietly darling with some colouring while mummy has her appendix out") then you would be able to find a babysitter.

Yes schools can and should be accommodating but there's got to be a line. No one knows enough about this particular scenario as to whether it matters if the rules are bent.