Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To feel excluded from my child's education before it even begins?

146 replies

Throwmynameaway · 23/05/2016 21:53

School has an induction evening in a couple of weeks. The letter says that it's for parents only (bolded and underlined) and children can not be accommodated. Letter also mentions how important the evening is to meet teachers and get first week info. No mention of alternative dates or times to meet the teachers or get this induction info if you can't attend. I'm a single parent and have no one to baby sit so my options are to ignore the underlining and billing and hope they don't make a big deal out of me taking my child or to miss out on the induction. We haven't even started school and already my child is excluded just because I'm a single parent without a family/friend support network. And it's not just single parents. Anyone else who has other children and no babysitter and a partner who works can't attend.

AIBU?

OP posts:

MarthasHarbour · 23/05/2016 22:16

My neighbour looked after DS when we were in this situation.
Ask friends, family,, can your DC go for a play at a friend's house?
You are going to have to be brave and just ask.

motheroreily · 23/05/2016 22:17

I totally sympathise. Im in same situation as you. I get down about it. I sometimes ask my daughter's keyworker to babysit. At £10 an hour I don't often ask her but something like this I will.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 23/05/2016 22:18

I missed our induction last year as we were on holiday, luckily I had a friend with a child in the same year and school who grabbed a pack for me. It wasn't the end of to miss it, but there was a bit of info verbally given which wasn't in the packs (such as pe group therefore colour t shirt to buy) contact the school and ask if all the info will be in the pack then make your decision. Do you know any neighbours well enough to ask them to suit with dc for a bit? Or any friends you could ask?

MyMurphy · 23/05/2016 22:19

Can your childs father help out?

Andbabymakesthree · 23/05/2016 22:24

How difficult would it be for a couple of the staff to set up a table with drawing materials on and make it inclusive!

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2016 22:26

I was a single parent - you need a baby sitter. I advertised for one and found 3 very good ones that way.
You need a support system - as a single parent it is important to make friends and then you can have reciprocal arrangements.
You have 2 weeks to find a babysitter.

Headofthehive55 · 23/05/2016 22:27

I think YANBU. I've been in situations where I have known no one in the area. DH working away...the presumption that you would have someone that you know and trust is not always correct.

I wouldn't bother with the meeting. They are usually of little use and usually come with a leaflet which covers everything you need to know. I can't always get time off for these sorts of things but having been to quite a few I can honestly say life will continue quite well without you attending.

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2016 22:27

When I was a teenager I got my babysitting jobs from some one asking at my school.

AntiquityOverShares · 23/05/2016 22:29

I would definitely ring the school and explain your situation.

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2016 22:29

It was just as difficult for me when I wasn't a single parent because DH was away or working long hours.

Smartiepants79 · 23/05/2016 22:30

I also suggest you phone the school and explain your situation and ask what they think. Schools normally put this in to dissuade parents bringing all their kids along and encourage them to come alone BUT I'd be amazed if they actually said that you weren't welcome at all or that they can't accommodate seeing you for 20 minutes at another time to fill you in.
You'd be surprised at how some families take the piss and turn up with all 5 or their kids or even the parent who's also a childminder and brings all her mindees along to parents evening.
My school would make provision for families such as yours.

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2016 22:31

She has 2weeks, Antiquity -she can change her situation- it is hardly being sprung upon her.

Headofthehive55 · 23/05/2016 22:32

The other thing that is quite helpful is ask around other parents. Usually one of my friends will go to the meeting - and then distribute the info! We are too busy to look after each other's kids to be honest and most of my friends have more than two so it would be like a party. No thanks!

CheeseAtFourpence · 23/05/2016 22:32

We weren't told that we couldn't take children. Whilst most parents went without theirs, we took our DD. Packed stickers, colouring, drink and a quiet snack. She sat quietly throughout. Other parents took children and they were playing outside. I would definitely ring the school and see what they say.

Coconut0il · 23/05/2016 22:33

Ring the school and explain your situation. If I had no one to look after either of my DC I would not be comfortable with someone I did not know watching them. I would ring the school and ask if I could speak to the staff at a different time or at the very least be provided with copies of all the information given. Most schools/staff will be happy to do this for you.

almondpudding · 23/05/2016 22:34

My children's primary school never held events that were for parents only. I'm surprised it is so common. It's obviously going to cause a problem for some parents.

I'd contact them, explain, and ask for written information instead.

Akire · 23/05/2016 22:34

I would try organise a baby sitter if your children is nearly 4 it's not to young for them to get used to odd babysitter now and again they may even enjoy it.

I understand if you really don't have family friends but babysitters will probable be needed at some point unless you are not planning to go anywhere evening for the next 10years or so.

Ilovewillow · 23/05/2016 22:34

Please ring the school and speak to them, you can bet you won't be the only one and they may be able to help!

JasperDamerel · 23/05/2016 22:35

Our school always assumes that some parents will bring children, and has suitable activities set out to keep them occupied.

greybead · 23/05/2016 22:36

This is standard unfortunately. Have you any relatives who could travel to you to help out?

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2016 22:37

You are going to need babysitters in the future - other people are perfectly capable of looking after your children. Mine used to look forward to it and we found some lovely ones.

Fresta · 23/05/2016 22:39

You must be able to find someone who can watch your dd?

Don't you know any neighbours, don't you have any friends, who does dd play with, does she go to a nursery?

Xmasbaby11 · 23/05/2016 22:43

We have that evening too in a couple of weeks, 6.30-8, which is OK for us as DH or I can go. I agree that the children shouldn't go. It's an opportunity for parents to find out how things work and ask questions. Children go at other times.

I agree it is hard for you but I think as a single parent you need a babysitter or childminder in place for situations such as these. If not for this time, see it as a sign you need to get something in place for future events.

I am pretty sure the school will let you pop in another time.

megletthesecond · 23/05/2016 22:45

I'd speak to the school and explain. If you can't make it hopefully they can email you any presentations and send you any important leaflets.

I've been a lp with limited support for 7 yrs but I would never ask a neighbour (I work and don't have time to get to know them properly) or use an unknown babysitter!

You could ask at nursery / pre-school. I used to use the staff at the dc's nursery for the odd evening baby sitting if I wanted to go to a gym class.

Chewbecca · 23/05/2016 22:45

YABU - you are excluding yourself by not finding someone to look after your child, the school are not excluding you.

Is there really no possibility you can get someone to look after your child, is it insurmountable?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6