Would you miss a really important 'social' or 'sporting' engagement to see your child....

[Vagabond]

I play in a Friday morning sporting competition which is quite competitive and serious and which is played in teams and for which we all pay money to participate in. Most players (not all) are mums.

Recently, in the last few years, there has been a real increase in mums being invited with a few days notice to attend Friday morning school assembly to watch their child win a 'merit' award. (primary school). Some of these awards are for "being determined" "being friendly" or "trying hard".

I might be a total cow but I think if you've committed to a team event, a school assembly for such trivial and meaningless awards shouldn't take priority over the team you committed to.

I'm seeing lots of messages on our group FB page saying "my precious Blakey is getting an award for friendliness and I couldn't bear not to see his sweet little face...... sorry to let you all down but these are the moments I can't bear to miss".

MN Jury..... ?

No i wouldn't, if you commit to a team or a regular voluntary role then you should stick to it (barring emergencies) - my DH is a sports team organiser and it is a nightmare trying to find replacement players at the last minute.

Same with volunteering - I organise a specific weekly event and need a few volunteers - I send out a rota well in advance and would expect someone to arrange a swap if they cannot fulfull their commitment.

But my DS was never particularly bothered whether or not I attended school assemblies, in fact I think he found me one of those annoying mums who was always at the school - helping with reading, on the PTA etc . Thank goodness he is at secondary school now where it is totally out of the question for parents to attend anything.

Schools have to find a balance. It is awful for those dc whose parents can't get time off work - the school.has a duty to think of those children and not just take an 'it's their parents problem' approach. They need to consider that not everyone has a sahp. I think it is heartbreaking for kids when their parents can't attend events and it is so unnecessary to cause this upset - parents really don't need to be in school at the drop of a hat.

Are you a mother OP?

YABU these awards may be meaningless to you but yo a young child and their self esteem they mean a hell of a lot.

I think one risk is it gives messages about what your child has to do to be important to you. You achieve a place on a sports team, you'll be my first priority. You just be a normal child (or even a particularly kind one), my hobby comes first. I don't want my kids to feel getting my time and attention is conditional on achieving something I consider noteworthy.

I agree with IWILL.
It's ridiculous expecting parents to be at school for those kind of awards on a monthly basis.
Some parents won't be able to make it to many, if any, of these assemblies, after already taking time off work to go to concerts, carol services and the like, and I doubt their DC enjoy only seeing everyone else's parents there every time.
The kids I know get the same kind of thing, but they are just given out within each class at the end of the week/month/term. They get lots of praise from teachers and classmates, then they take their certificate/award home and get to tell everyone about it - which they do. Very excitedly. Multiple times. And I mean everyone - neighbours, shop workers, random people in the street...