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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drunk DP sleeping in the bed

209 replies

Janefromdowntheroad · 15/05/2016 08:31

Do you ask your DP to stay downstairs when he comes in drunk? Do you sleep downstairs?

Every bloody time DP comes in he tries to come upstairs even after I asked told him not too.

I hate the smell of stale alcohol on the sheets, DD is still co-sleeping at 13 months (we do have a super king and she's on my side so not really an issue)

He comes in last night at 1am and I can hear him creeping upstairs. Stumbles over the doorstep and starts getting unchanged. I told him to go downstairs. He starts moaning its cold down there and he's going straight to sleep. DD wakes up Angry. I manage to fall back asleep and then he's moving around in the bed because he can't get comfortable. I told him to fuck off downstairs. He starts telling me about his night because he's pissed and isn't listening. I told him to shut up and go to sleep. Twenty minutes later I wake up to him throwing up out of the window Angry. Woke up properly this time and told him to go back downstairs and that he isn't sleeping up there with us if he's that pissed that he's being sick. He ends up ranting about 'not being able to sleep in his own his in his own house', 'work all week and can't even sleep in his own bed'. Basically just being a twat because he's drunk.

This happens every bloody time he goes out. I don't think its unreasonable to expect him to stay downstairs when he's pissed.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Quimby · 15/05/2016 08:32

Yeah he doesn't sound like the twat in this story

JonSnowsBeardClippings · 15/05/2016 08:34

Really quimby? I could not disagree more.

Op, I would never sleep in a bed with a drunk man. That's a hard limit for me. Let alone with a baby in the bed too Angry
He should have slept on the sofa. He's a dick.

Makesomethingupyouprick · 15/05/2016 08:36

I wouldn't be happy living with someone who told me where I could and couldn't sleep in my own house.

BanningTheWordNaice · 15/05/2016 08:36

I'm going to assume the person above has woken up hungover and grumpy. How often does he go out? Throwing up out of the window is vile. I don't know the age where Co sleeping is dangerous when drunk but if she's still young enough for squashing to be a problem then it's also showing no regards to her safety.

Nicnak2223 · 15/05/2016 08:36

I've never told my dh not to sleep in our bed but it's never come up either.

I'd be pissedd off at him chucking up out of the window though.

araiba · 15/05/2016 08:38

why doesnt op sleep downstairs?

SilveryFoxyMe · 15/05/2016 08:38

That would piss me off- I would t mind him coming to his own bed; I would worry about him getting shit-faced every time he goes out.

molyholy · 15/05/2016 08:39

He vomited out of the window? That is fucking gross.

Quimby · 15/05/2016 08:39

"I wouldn't be happy living with someone who told me where I could and couldn't sleep in my own house."

Don't forget being told to "fuck off" and "shut up"

Creampastry · 15/05/2016 08:40

You co sleep with a baby and a drunk man ..... Wtf!!

Original poster
Janefromdowntheroad · 15/05/2016 08:40

You think I should sleep downstairs with the co sleeping baby on the sofa? So when DP comes home pissed he can go up to the nice warm comfy bed?

Haha. No

OP posts:
allegretto · 15/05/2016 08:40

My DH would never come home drunk - and throwing up out the window is grim. Having said that, YANBU to ask him to sleep elsewhere whether your daughter is there or not but it is especially inconsiderate with a child in the bed.

savasanaaa · 15/05/2016 08:41

I don't let DP sleep in our bed with DS & I when he comes home drunk. More than anything co-sleeping research suggests it's less safe if you've been drinking.

Original poster
Janefromdowntheroad · 15/05/2016 08:41

He only goes out once every 4 months or so. Hence not being able to handle his drink

OP posts:
DaveCamoron · 15/05/2016 08:42

You're both as bad as each other, if I told Mumsnet that I'd told my drunk wife to fuck off and shut up etc I'd get my arse handed to me on a plate.

Oysterbabe · 15/05/2016 08:42

The puking would be an issue and I'd be annoyed about waking DD but I'd never tell him not to sleep in our bed.
Does he often get so drunk he's sick? How old is he 18?

Original poster
Janefromdowntheroad · 15/05/2016 08:42

Any adult who woke me and a baby up three times in the night because they were being a twat would get told to fuck off

He's not a delicate little flower

OP posts:
ohnoppp · 15/05/2016 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ICanSeeForMiles · 15/05/2016 08:43

I would have no qualms about telling my dh to sleep on the sofa, and I have on many occasions. If he's been drinking he snores and if I wake up, generally I struggle to fall asleep again.
But being sick out the window? That's grim.

Birdsgottafly · 15/05/2016 08:43

""why doesnt op sleep downstairs""

How can she safely Co-sleep downstairs and why should she to accommodate her DP getting so pissed he's throwing up?

His wants aren't conductive to family life, at the stage it's at, he needs to change his wants. He needs to sleep, you and the baby need to safely sleep. He can sleep on the couch, or not get that drunk.

You don't have any options, so it's simple.

FoolMe · 15/05/2016 08:43

I swear MN is an alternate reality...why the fuck should the op and her baby sleep downstairs? If I'd just been woken for the second or third time I'd have told the person to fuck off downstairs too

froubylou · 15/05/2016 08:43

The op co sleeps with a baby. Dp knows when he is really pissed to sleep on the sofa.

It's unpleasant sleeping with a drunk. If he wants to sleep in bed he either doesn't drunk himself to the point of throwing up out of the window or stays home.

OP yanbu. Your dp is a selfish wanker who has no consideration for you or your baby.

Gowgirl · 15/05/2016 08:43

I would not dream of telling dh he couldn't come to bed, he's an adult!
I would however pop the baby in her cot.
He goes out 3x a year! Give him a break. However I do decide to hover the landing the next morning while singing massacring rock music Grin

Pearlman · 15/05/2016 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/05/2016 08:44

If it's once every 4 months is it really a problem?