Drunk DP sleeping in the bed

[Janefromdowntheroad]

Do you ask your DP to stay downstairs when he comes in drunk? Do you sleep downstairs?

Every bloody time DP comes in he tries to come upstairs even after I asked told him not too.

I hate the smell of stale alcohol on the sheets, DD is still co-sleeping at 13 months (we do have a super king and she's on my side so not really an issue)

He comes in last night at 1am and I can hear him creeping upstairs. Stumbles over the doorstep and starts getting unchanged. I told him to go downstairs. He starts moaning its cold down there and he's going straight to sleep. DD wakes up . I manage to fall back asleep and then he's moving around in the bed because he can't get comfortable. I told him to fuck off downstairs. He starts telling me about his night because he's pissed and isn't listening. I told him to shut up and go to sleep. Twenty minutes later I wake up to him throwing up out of the window . Woke up properly this time and told him to go back downstairs and that he isn't sleeping up there with us if he's that pissed that he's being sick. He ends up ranting about 'not being able to sleep in his own his in his own house', 'work all week and can't even sleep in his own bed'. Basically just being a twat because he's drunk.

This happens every bloody time he goes out. I don't think its unreasonable to expect him to stay downstairs when he's pissed.

AIBU?

If I had the baby in the bed and my Dh was drunk, he wouldn't be getting in. Full stop. If he was going out, I'd expect him to make arrangements for sleeping in the spare room or in the couch.

I really don't have much time for drunk people at the best of times.

why doesnt op sleep downstairs?

What the fuck are you on?

Fucking hell is this what it has come to when a man cannot handle his drink and his partner has to pre-empt this by sleeping on the sofa with a baby. Fuck that for a laugh.

OP when my OH comes in even just after a few he snores so I prod him and he goes through to the spare room.I can't stand the smell of alcohol seeping through the skin. Luckily he has taken up running and is now drinking hardly at all.

He spends his days with hairy arsed tree surgeons who shout and swear at each other all day. Being told to fuck off isn't going to upset him.

You wouldn't tell someone to shut up when they start telling you drunken anecdotes at 1am after waking you up? Fuck that

I'd be getting Hoover out and jacking up the radio about now op!

The person getting drunk, waking up the family, getting into bed with a baby, and vomiting out the window definitely sounds like more of a twater than the person who reacted to their twattishness by correctly telling them to fuck off.

Fuck off is definitely the right response to a drunk waking a baby.

I would not dream of telling dh he couldn't come to bed, he's an adult!

Hardly behaving like one coming home in that state, waking everyone up and vomiting out of the window. (Hope OP hands him a bucket and cloth today).

Why should the OP put up with that treatment? I wouldn't.

This thread is making me furious.

Of course you shouldn't have slept on the sofa. And posters who wouldn't like being told where to sleep in their own house - would you get vomitting drunk and climb in bed with your partner and baby? Because if you would then you're cunts frankly

If someone comes in that drunk, of course they should sleep elsewhere. It's disgusting that he is so drunk he's being sick out of the window.

Dh used to sleep in the bed with me when drink and I'd usually get up and go into the spare room because of his snoring and the stale alcohol breath.

We have ds now, who usually ends up in with us at some point in the night so dh sleeps in the spare room.

Your dp sounds like a test though for other reasons!

YANBU. Can't believe the responses you're getting. I hope he's cleaning up the puke today.

What planet are some of you on? Being drunk and co sleeping is stupid and unsafe. If I was OP I'd be fuming too. What the hell was he playing at? I'm sure he's a big boy who can cope of the sofa for the night. YANBU at all.

YANBU, OP. You and the baby have the right of way in the bed here. A drunk adult man can surely handle one night on a sofa. He sounds very precious.

Mine was out wetting the baby's head and wisely decided to stay at his parents' rather than sleeping downstairs with the cat on the sofa. He wouldn't even dream of trying to get into bed with our co-sleeping newborn and me after drinking.

If my (non-existant) DP told me to fuck off and shut up because I'd come in a bit drunk, I would be bloody fuming that's a horrendous way to treat someone, drunk or not.

If you're in between him and DD, I don't see the issue with him coming straight to bed. If you hadn't shouted at him he probably wouldn't have gotten obstructive.

Like hell would a pukey drunk be getting anywhere near me and my co-sleeping baby. Of course YANBU.

Is he more reasonable when he's sober? Or is he an entitled arse all the time?
So next time, he plans ahead, comes home drunk, sleeps downstairs with a large bottle of water and a bucket and saves the rambling conversations for when his partner feels like listening.
No, OP, YANBU. He shouldn't be disturbing you when he's pissed, let alone the baby.
This morning I'd be expecting an apology and that he deals with whatever trail of disaster and mess he's created.

I did say I would move the baby, but I don't bother to argue with someone who is drunk, I'd rather wait till they are sober. Arguing with someone who is pissed is pointless and frustrating.
If it was more often I would be the first to shout LTB, but I tend to pick my battles.

Really hermione? You're that drunk you're vomitting out of a window and then trying to get into bed with a BABY and you think a simple fuck off is horrendous!?

She told him to shut up and fuck off before he started vomiting.

I never said the vomiting was acceptable, but her language wasn't in response to the vomiting, it was in response to him getting into his own bed!

Never asked DP to sleep downstairs just cause he's been out if you have an issue with it why don't you?
I'd be pissed off at the sick out the window though. If that happened I would ensure the DC are playing lovely noisy games & banging about the next morning

WTF at suggesting OP sleeps downstairs with baby. Why the fuck should she and her baby give up their comfy bed just because he decides to get pissed drunk? No way should he be in the room when he's been drinking. It is not safe to co-sleep when there's alcohol involved. He barges into the room, despite being told not to and he ends up waking OP up and baby. Then he gets sick out the window? That's disgusting. I'd have hit the fucking roof.

Well the fuck off came because he was getting undressed and disagreed with the suggestion of sleeping downstairs.

The puking came after the op's twattishness

YANBU in this instance. It's not safe to have a drunk adult in the bed if you are co-sleeping. He should sleep downstairs.

If you didn't have a child in bed though, I see no reason why he shouldn't be allowed to sleep in his own bed even if he's pissed. If the sheets smell, he could change them in the morning.

Vomiting out if the window is beyond grim though. I hope he's cleaning it up this morning. Ugh.

Op, yanbu. I would be raging, and would tell dh to fuck off too. Your dp knows you don't want him doing this, it isn't safe and if he is so drunk he is puking he shouldn't be sleeping with anyone out of courtesy.

I would fully expect to be told to fuck off if I treated my husband and baby so shittily just because I was pissed.

Waking up sleeping people, doing things that are harmful to your own baby, and vomiting out windows areally all deserving of a fuck off.

Does he not consider sleeping in bed whilst drunk, with 13 month old to be dangerous?.... If not then he is very unreasonable