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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be in shock with this woman?

152 replies

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:41

I was in a large toy retail store (not sure if you're allowed to name them if I am I'll disclose it) and was at the till paying for my sons toys and then the cashier went when's the baby due. my son was in the trolly right in front of her.

I do have a bit of horrible saggy stretched skin and a bit of baby weight still on me but I didn't know how to react beside shock and laugh.

what would have you done if it was you?

OP posts:
DeathByMascara · 14/05/2016 20:43

Looked at the baby, very obviously, then looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. Or as close to a raised eyebrow as I can manage.

Serenitymummy · 14/05/2016 20:44

I'd have said I wasn't preggo but thanks very much for ruining my weekend, you insensitive arsehole. Probably mouthing the 'arsehole' part so DS didn't hear. Then possibly asked for manager or emailed a complaint.

Mrsmorton · 14/05/2016 20:44

Just called her out and said "I'm not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for pointing it out".

No point getting worked up about it, people say far more offensive things!!

NewNameNotTheSame · 14/05/2016 20:44

I'd have patted my tummy, smiled and said "ohh not yet, I think I must be a couple of months behind you!"

In reality, I'd probably just mumble something about not being pregnant and cry in the car Grin

dontpokethebear · 14/05/2016 20:44

Given her the finger?
It happened to me, typically on a day when I'd looked in the mirror and thought 'Hell yeah! I look good'. Angry

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:44

he was on one of those trollies where you put the car seat on. this big black create seat on top of a silver trolly. her response was I thought it easy part of the trolly.....Hmm really

OP posts:
PPie10 · 14/05/2016 20:45

Just said the baby is here and looked at him. Nothing to be so very shocked about. Maybe she genuinely thought you were pregnant and just making conversation.

Serenitymummy · 14/05/2016 20:45

And to be honest as much as I'd like to think I'd be that assertive, if I managed it I would then probably sit in the car and cry. Are you ok?

JustLostTheGame · 14/05/2016 20:45

I would probably have done the same as you OP. Shocked laugh and said, X weeks ago.

People are stupid. They need to flash a big warning up on billboards in every town saying "NEVER ask a woman when she is due"

WellErrr · 14/05/2016 20:46

I would have said 'how should I know, it's your baby belly' whilst looking pointedly at her tummy.

But then I can be a twat.

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:46

I laughed it off in the shop but I got angry in the car with my nan. I was like am I really that fat?

OP posts:
WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 14/05/2016 20:47

And this is why you never refer to anyone being pregnant unless you know for a fact that they are!

DeathByMascara · 14/05/2016 20:47

I have been asked on more than one occasion when the baby is due, before I ever even met dh, let alone had dc. I always just replied 'no, I'm just fat' and glared until they squirmed. I like to think they didn't make that mistake again.

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:48

I agree with 'you should never ask a lady if she's pregnant'. if my son wasn't right in her face I would have let her off haha

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/05/2016 20:48

I'd have told them straight that it isn't an appropriate comment to make. My friend lost a baby but still looked pregnant. Three or four shop assistants said this sort of thing to her. Not a nice thing to have to deal with.

RandomMess · 14/05/2016 20:49

TBH they are told they have to make conversation etc and she didn't engage her brain.

Flowers sorry that you felt horrid about yourself, some of us are not blessed with the ability to get anything like our pre-baby bodies back Sad

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:50

I'm sorry to hear that purple I bet she was heartbroken when she was asked that.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/05/2016 20:52

She was feeling-that's why these people need telling that it's not appropriate small talk to make.

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:53

I was lucky that the rest of my body except my boobs and stomach have gone back to normal.

I'm still in shock now. what if it was a medical condition why u had a tummy pft xD

OP posts:
Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:54

normally I would have complained but was so took back.

I should have said "yeah 17 weeks ago"

OP posts:
leotwist · 14/05/2016 20:54

Oh the delights of insensitive checkout comments! See my own very similar experience on MN thread Pregnancy/Plus Size Pregnancy. Smile

LogicalThinking · 14/05/2016 20:54

She didn't say it intentionally to offend or upset you, it was a genuine mistake.

It happened to me, I shrugged it off.

I also did it to another woman. She came to my house to buy my pushchair, she looked pregnant, I asked her when she was due, she said her baby was 4 months old. I apologised, she said it's ok.

PurpleDaisies · 14/05/2016 20:56

She didn't say it intentionally to offend or upset you, it was a genuine mistake.

There is no earthy reason to comment on someone appearing to be pregnant if you don't know that they are. Especially if you're a random shop assistant and not even a friend.

Petal40 · 14/05/2016 20:56

What a rude rude rude woman....I bet

you looked bloody good for having had a Babba and she was jealous and knew what she was saying as she could see the baby...women can be total bitches to each other

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:57

I know she didn't mean to. I'm. not angry as in "omg that b*tch just said I'm fat" or white chicks moment "I'm going to have a B.F" "I'm going to write a letter"

I was just taken back

OP posts: