to be in shock with this woman?

[Feelingsolow12345]

I was in a large toy retail store (not sure if you're allowed to name them if I am I'll disclose it) and was at the till paying for my sons toys and then the cashier went when's the baby due. my son was in the trolly right in front of her.

I do have a bit of horrible saggy stretched skin and a bit of baby weight still on me but I didn't know how to react beside shock and laugh.

what would have you done if it was you?

[JacquelineChan]

A cashier in a supermarket said this to me when my son was 3 months old ( with me, in his pram!)
I said haha no I'm just fat! She tried to backtrack it is quite funny now but I was upset at the time

[Feelingsolow12345]

the excuse what the woman used to me was funny. I've been here since 11 and it was only 6. the store was dead so she had all day to day dream xD

[Familyof3or4]

After my first I was proud how fast I got my figure back,until after finding out I was on maternity leave, someone asked me when the baby was due

[Feelingsolow12345]

That's exactly me family

I've got to go back to hat shop today. wonder if she'll be on a daily if she'll remember me.

[seven201]

I've been asked a few times before I was pregnant. I always just mumble something about it being chocolate not a baby. I just carry excess weight on my stomach.

The worst incident though was at the staff Xmas party when the school counsellor of all people asked me when I was due. I then had to dance next to her while sober for ages. She then made it worse by sending me a card and chocolates explaining that it wasn't her fault as everyone in her department thought I was pregnant! Agh! I also taught a horrible yr 9 child who asked me and when I said 'no' and explained it wasn't an appropriate question she burst into loud laughter and then announced what she had done to the whole class and went on and on about how I just had a fat belly for the entire lesson.

[whomovedmychocolate]

There is only one response to this question which is 'wow, did you mean to be SO RUDE?!'

I use this line quite a lot because it really does make people consider what they've said and they ALWAYS, ALWAYS apologise because they reflect and realise what they've said is wrong, judgemental and stupid.

OP I'm very sorry someone was rude to you. There is far too much of it about, and I'm sure you didn't need that sort of thing when you were just going about your business. The checkout person is hopefully mortified that she got it wrong and will learn a lesson. But please, next time, call her out on it.

[DressedToExpress]

It's happened to me several times in the office when I was very much not pregnant. Each time by intelligent, non-fuck-witted women. I'm a size 12, consider myself slim with a bit of a tummy but certainly nothing that should attract attention or be highlighted in a busy office. The first two times I made some half hearted attempt to laugh it off and say 'oh yes, I always hold my weight on my belly' and then cried in the toilet. The third time was my ceo and the whole thing ended in a really awkward exchange in her office where she hugged me. She is the least touchy feely person I know. It was all kinds of uncomfortable.

[PearlsaMinger]

I had this happen to me too in a checkout queue but from another customer...

'When's the baby due? You must be ready to pop!'

'No... I'm fat. Not pregnant... '

The woman was mortified and her red faced husband scuttled off to find.. Erm... Anything!

😂😂😂

I laughed it off.. What else can you do?

[DressedToExpress]

My rule of thumb is to NEVER ask a woman when she's due / if she's pregnant until you personally witness a baby emerging from her fanjo. And even then proceed with caution.

[TheNaze73]

I think it's a tough one, I'm sure there was no malice in her comment but, it was insensitive, so YANBU. I've given up my seat on the tube in error before & have quickly remedied the situation as not to cause offence

[wonderstuff]

My mil asked me if I was pg, when my youngest was 5! When I said no she patted my stomach and said 'you must have put on weight then'
Now I am underweight, and would like to put on half a stone, but obviously not so I look pregnant! I was massive and split my stomach muscles and have lots of stretched skin, so I'm always going to have a tummy, it's a fair swap for my gorgeous children.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

I was given a free coffee on a cold windy beach because the woman thought I was pregnant! 😂 I just took and said thanks but I'm not pregnant, just fat! Think is thoughI was at even slightly overweight back then before I had even had any children so I've no idea why she even thought I was pregnant???

[wonderstuff]

And mil has dementia, although she's always been pretty rude, I'm obviously not going to get upset with her.

[bordellosboheme]

don't worry about it. she made a mistake. I had a baby in the NICU, so was babyless and shuffled to the hospital café 10 days post caesarean. The attendant said, 'ooh you'll be having a baby soon', I just smiled vaguely - yes I still had a large belly. He made a human mistake and was just trying to make conversation.

[MilkOfAmnesia]

I get asked this pretty much every week since I was 17, before I even had children.

I'm a peabody. I have thin arms and legs, but a big round tummy.

I don't get offended, what's the point? People are essentially trying to be nice, but just get it badly wrong.
I just smile and say politely 'oh I'm not pregnant, I just really like cake!'. They are always MORTIFIED and can't apologise enough.
No need for a cute reply.

[PurpleDaisies]

I don't get offended, what's the point?

It isn't so much being offended as being upset. When you're feeling vulnerable either because you're overweight, because your arsehole endometriosis has given you a fake bump that won't turn into a real one because it's screwed up your tubes or because you've lost a baby and not snapped back to your pre pregnancy body you might not be able to just laugh off someone commenting on your "pregnancy". A polite but firm "that's not an appropriate thing to ask about" hopefully stops them doing it to someone else.

[Momoftwoscallywags]

I remember when I was in a hospital ward for a few days due to bleeding (reason unknown) when I was 38 weeks gone and on day they put a lady in a one of the side rooms.

She still looked heavily pregnant but devastated.....which really said it all.

One of the other ladies on the ward saw her and said quite loudly "why has she got a side room, what is so special about her and her baby that she gets special treatment" or some sort on entitled speech like that. (Can't remember the exact phrasing).

Luckily the women in question didn't hear her (I hope!) and when I quietly suggested that maybe the women had lost her baby, the lady I was speaking to wasn't even contrite! Just said it wasn't her fault that she didn't look like she had had a baby!

One of the other ladies on the ward then shouted at her saying something like "what do you expect a women to look like after she has just given birth, a fucking supermodel?"

This is the reason I never ever comment on what looks like a pregnant tummy unless I know for definite.

[EvaTheOptimist]

I did the opposite once

A large acquaintance had a baby. I said "Oh I didn't even realise you were pregnant"

Quite rightly she didn't speak to me again for years.

I love the cartoon though, made me laugh out loud.

[TheCrumpettyTree]

I've had this a few times. I haven't lost my tummy since having dc2 who is 1. It really upsets me as it just makes me feel fat. It's bad enough trying to get clothes to fit without being reminded.

[Feelingsolow12345]

I thought it was funny after the shock but I did wonder if I should start wearing clothes to hide my tummy.

[Thefitfatty]

I have diastasis recti, so I've gotten kind of used to being asked this. I just smile condescendingly and walk away without answering.

[marmb87]

This happened to me...a week after I had given birth to my 2nd child, mortgage advisor asked when I was due...I explained I had had my baby etc and he looked so mortified I actually felt sorry for him but people need to realise that even if it's obvious it's best not to ask and wait for them to tell you!!

[Feelingsolow12345]

purple that's the reason why I don't ask anyone cause there maybe a back story why.

momoftwo I hope to God she didn't hear her. that would have killed me if I was in her position.

[Mamabear15]

Checkout assistants really do make the most inappropriate comments sometimes. It took me 5 years and several rounds of IVF to get pregnant, and one time when I was buying a couple of pregnancy tests the checkout woman said "oooohh, are you sure?" (about being pregnant). I felt like saying to her, no I'm not sure, I'm taking what must be the millionth pregnancy test after loads of failed fertility treatments so I don't really want to get my hopes up too much. It really pisssd me off that she thought commenting on someone buying a pregnancy test was an appropriate thing to do when she didn't know the circumstances. I could have been raped for all she knew! Anyway needless to say I didn't have the balls to have a go at her so just smiled politely and said no I'm not sure!