Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

AIBU?

to be in shock with this woman?

152 replies

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 20:41

I was in a large toy retail store (not sure if you're allowed to name them if I am I'll disclose it) and was at the till paying for my sons toys and then the cashier went when's the baby due. my son was in the trolly right in front of her.

I do have a bit of horrible saggy stretched skin and a bit of baby weight still on me but I didn't know how to react beside shock and laugh.

what would have you done if it was you?

OP posts:

Report

livewyre · 14/05/2016 21:01

"Not pregnant, normal healthy weight, thank you very much. Don't you know it's a really rude thing to say?"

littlemonkey5 · 14/05/2016 21:03

I had DS2 on the Monday night and on Wednesday night we had an open house party. One couple came in and as we were chatting he casually said "so, still waiting for baby to arrive then?" his wife went bright red, elbowed him hard in the ribs and said "who do you think is in that bright red pram next to you? What are you? Blind?" lol..... Most people started the night with "congratulations" so it wasn't all bad

Freddiethefirefly · 14/05/2016 21:04

Hello

I feel your pain.
This has happened to me twice!
I am size 10, but any weight I have goes on my mummy belly!
Both times at work and said to me by patients !
The first time was when I had to tell the loveliest patient ever that she had cancer.....so she could say anything she liked
The second patient was not a very nice lady who was twice my size!

I just got embarrased, said I wasn't pregnant just a mummy belly, and went and told all my colleagues...which made them laugh as I went around all day trying to suck in my tummy!

Congrats on your son! He's worth it! 💐

I am off now for tea and biscuits ☕️🎂😀

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 21:16

I've posted before saying I suffered with anorexia. I've finally beat it about 3 years ago or just under. I know this was ages ago and I'm all fine now but what if I wasn't and I still was suffering. she could have triggered me.

she used the excuse she's been on since 11. she mentioned it at 6 so been working 7 hours. I've worked 12 hours and still wouldn't say it.

OP posts:

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 21:17

bet not beat.

OP posts:

manicinsomniac · 14/05/2016 21:25

I had a friend at university who had a great response to this.

A relative asked her at a family party if she was pregnant and she replied, loudly enough for everyone around to hear:

'No, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. This is just a belly, there's nothing in it.'

Czerny88 · 14/05/2016 21:28

I agree it was a thoughtless remark, but I'm a bit that people seem to think the shop assistant was deliberately being offensive.

monkey You held a party 48 hours after giving birth? (NB Meant as admiration, not criticism!)

HackerFucker22 · 14/05/2016 21:30

I got ushered into a room to be checked over at the maternity assessment unit..... I wasn't pregnant!!!

Fair enough I was the only person in the waiting room (my heavily pregnant sister was in the loo) and the MW just assumed I was the patient wasn't massively overweight either!!

PurpleDaisies · 14/05/2016 21:32

I agree it was a thoughtless remark, but I'm a bit shock that people seem to think the shop assistant was deliberately being offensive.

I agree it was thoughtless small talk. That doesn't mean it's fine. I'd hope that a firm response saying that it's not a good thing to say to a woman you're not certain is pregnant would stop them from doing it again.

Shapebandit · 14/05/2016 21:32

The nurse at my GP surgery did the same when I went get some medication days after my first baby was born. The 3 day old baby was next to me in huge pram at the time. She looked at my belly and said 'oh another one so soon, you're brave' A nurse!!
I still remember it clearly 10 years on!

Paddingtonthebear · 14/05/2016 21:33

This happened to me about a week after I'd given birth. I had to get a taxi (alone) to my GP surgery and the taxi driver asked when I was due. I was going to GP as badly constipated, I couldn't walk properly due to soreness from stitches I had to repair a 4th degree tear. I burst into tears. The taxi driver was in his late 50's and he looked properly mortified when I sobbed I'd already the baby!

HackerFucker22 · 14/05/2016 21:33

She called me in (just opened the door, said "hi, come in" and didn't use my sisters name so I followed obediently.

The thing is I am 8 years older than my sister, had already had a baby and knew it wasn't me she needed to see!!! Yet I still went in.... and the MW obviously thoght I was big enough to be pregnant!!!

Winterbiscuit · 14/05/2016 21:33

There is no earthy reason to comment on someone appearing to be pregnant if you don't know that they are.

Totally agree. If they are actually pregnant, if they want to discuss it they'll raise the topic themselves.

Serenitymummy · 14/05/2016 21:34

purple you're so right, I had the same. This is the reason I never comment on other people's reproduction, you never know if you're going to (figuratively) punch someone in the gut with a throwaway "isn't it about time you had a baby" etc!

kali110 · 14/05/2016 21:37

Agree with above it wasn't said to offend. She put 2+2 (childs toy) together and got it wrong. She may not have even noticed your little one.
They are told to make small crappy talk and to appear personal to you.
I'm sure she felt awful when she realised she was wrong, i knowi would have if it were me.
It's Easy to say don't let it bother you but it still must have been hard.

BrightandEarly · 14/05/2016 21:37

I was offered a seat on the train this week. My youngest is two ! And I've just lost quite a bit of weight too..

DH who was with me was in hysterics (helpful). I mostly felt sorry for the kind girl who'd offered me the seat.

Try not to give it too much thought OP! People say all sorts of silly things (although I agree they shouldn't).

Mari50 · 14/05/2016 21:39

Jeez, I did this once, asked a patient at work when her baby was due and she said 'three months ago', I was mortified. Having subsequently had children and suffered a huge postpartum belly I'd have understood if anyone had asked me a similar question and not been offended (as my lovely patient wasn't)

littlemonkey5 · 14/05/2016 21:40

thank you Czerny88 it was a pre-planned party, DS2 was due 3 days earlier but was late lol. I was on a lot of drugs, the fairies and elves helped.....

I am day 24 today and wondered if I could fit into any of my non-maternity jeans and have managed to wear my size 12 flares today....bit snug, but not bad going. People then shocked when I say that DS3 is my 5th - can't think why lol

FuzzyOwl · 14/05/2016 21:44

WellErr

I would have said 'how should I know, it's your baby belly' whilst looking pointedly at her tummy.

But then I can be a twat.

I am storing this up and will repeat anytime I am ever asked if I am pregnant from now onwards!

Personally I am of the view that even if a woman goes into labour in the middle of the street and is asking for assistance, I will ask what is wrong and will wait to be told she is pregnant!

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 21:54

Yeah I know it was small talk, very bad one at that. wait till my do comes back he'll say "got to tell everyone we found moby dick" he's a sod like that.

OP posts:

TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain · 14/05/2016 21:59

was at the till paying for my sons toys and then the cashier went when's the baby due. my son was in the trolly right in front of her.
How old's the son in the trolley? Genuine question, just because answers could differ depending on whether newborn or toddler.
More obvious to ignorants if new baby in the trolley to STFU. If toddler, maybe they presume there's another one on the way.
(Either way it's not on to assume someone's pregnant!)
I've been subject to this so know how you feel. Felt gutted. Mine was around 4 years old!!
Made me feel great. (Not.) Don't comment unless you're 100% sure that person is pregnant and not still carrying excess weight!)

TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain · 14/05/2016 22:02

Sorry, forgot to state my reaction. I just laughed and said "nope, not pregnant, just still a bit fat.."
Mortified reaction was priceless......

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

dillydotty · 14/05/2016 22:04

I learnt from an embarrassing mistake in my youth never ever to ask. Even if they look 8 months gone.

I was young and didn't think but I wasn't being a cow and felt dreadful for ages afterwards.

NanaNina · 14/05/2016 22:07

My cousin was asked this by a woman she was visiting as part of her job (market research) and she was 3 months off her 60th birthday!!
She didn't think it was funny!

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 22:10

he's 17 weeks. I was getting the toys for his Christmas presents as there was a big baby event on. so all toys we're for 1 year plus. I told her they was for my son as it's his first Christmas and 3 weeks later it's his birthday so I need ti start to get ready. That's when she went when's the baby due.

just told my DP and he went wow how to boost your confidence up.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.