To remember NNs of MNers posting unpleasant things most clearly?

[Just5minswithDacre]

Is it a recognised psychological phenomenon? Do we remember bad things better?

I've just realised I still remember which MNer said women should pick partners more carefully to avoid DV (years ago), the types who always sneer at tenants, or seem to have it in for the disabled.

But when I think of compassionate MNers that I like and clearly have a range of life experience informing their empathy, I mainly remember biographical details and great posts but not NNs so much. (DawnDonnaAgain, HelenaDove and maybe two others that I'm not even completely sure of pop into my head as exceptions.)

Is there something wrong with the way my memory works?

"Do we remember bad things better?" is what I mean

Maybe it's subconsciously so you can avoid them? Also probably because they're the minority?

"The evil that men do lives after them / The good is oft inter'd with their bones". Shakespeare recognised the phenomenon so the idea's been around for a bit.

This seems like a thinly-disguised attack on another poster.

I remember horrible posters too OP. I think it's like a twat-dar.

That's probably a large part of it Thorn.

Oh Paffle nice literary tone-raising. I like being in that company

Who has said 'the whole thread was a bit council'? That's an awful comment, but if it's current, this is a thread about a thread and a personal attack.

I think I'm the opposite.

Someone was absolutely horrible to me on a thread once, and it was about something I'd posted about my daughter too so doubly galling.

Right I thought, you've muckied your ticket with me LADY, I will make it my mission to disagree with everything you say from here on in as you are clearly a fuckwit of the highest order with the personality of Adolf Hitler only knobbier and more socially inept

Did I forget the username within days? Yes I did.

It's not meant that way acasual. I was just wondering whether I'm a bit negative for remembering this stuff (involuntarily).

The thread's gone anyway Lemonade. History already.

Well if you're BU I am too so you're not alone

There is one poster on MN who I noticed over a short period of time popped up an a number of threads asking only "so what's your AIBU then" in spite of the fact it was clear from the OP and that one or two were things that were a bit upsetting to the op. Now when I see her name I think, oh her, she's a cunt . I know that's not nice but it's the first thought that pops into my head!

I think also you tend to remember the posters who don't name change. There are a handful I remember as they always give solid, supportive advice and aren't nasty. Likewise there are 2 or 3 who over time I've noticed tend to seek out particular types of threads and can be quite aggressive and belligerent.

You could have done that without making it personal though OP.

I really love Paffles quote "The evil that men do lives after them / The good is oft inter'd with their bones" but I just know it's FutureGdgets Twat-dar that's going to stay with me. Same phenomena I guess!

Nobody can look it up Aye. I wouldn't have posted if the thread was still up.

I was just hoping to hear that it's not just me

Humans tend to be risk averse, it is prudent to pay more attention to that which is threatening than to that which is benign

Not suggesting that a forum poster is actually harmful (although they could be) just that life experience tends to lead us to be 'wired' in such a way that we take more notice of things which we perceive could harm us

There are some posters I always expect to see on certain types of threads, and not in a bad way, like they show up and talk sense.

"so what's your AIBU then" means 'what or who do you think is being unreasonable here?'

So they can answer the question about being unreasonable.

AIBU isn't chat or relationships. And should have a question. Whether OP is upset or gleeful matters not a jot in establishing what the question is. If the OP is too upset to be able to clarify what she is actually asking, then she's probably in the wrong topic.

Surely this only applies to the minority though, ie the non name changers?

Whenever a zombie thread is bumped, there are tons of old names I'd completely forgotten about.

I'm not sure how anyone could store them all in their head?

There is one nasty incident I had years ago and I remember their name. They've either been banned or name changed as I wasn't the only person that person had a run in with.

I tend to recognise some posters for their good advice. I also like the posters who change their minds in a topic, though I don't remember them.

There are a few I'd prefer to avoid.

Some always post the same comments, too.

Anyone would think they enjoyed the argument

It's probably a survival thing isn't it, that we remember bad things better?

Unmentioned The question wasn't being asked for clarity, that's why it stood out to me. The poster seemed to be making the point that eg you must say "so AIBU to ..." when the question was completely clear from the thread. This would be in among responses from other posters addressing the question. It really did seem to be some kind of odd, petty thing and it jumped out to me over a short period of time across a number of threads.

You are not unreasonable, it is a recognized phenomena

However, in this instance it would be more logical to ask 'am I typical' or 'am I unusual'

Actually, I never pay attention to the name, only the comment.

I tend to remember both but I think most people remember things people have said that they have disagreed with/argued about because they've probably thought about them more rather than just nodding in agreement and moving on iykwim.

I'm sometimes a bit surprised when I hear people praising certain posters' advice/helpfulness/kindness etc because I'll remember threads where they were being pretty horrible and having lots of their posts deleted.