To remember NNs of MNers posting unpleasant things most clearly?

[Just5minswithDacre]

Is it a recognised psychological phenomenon? Do we remember bad things better?

I've just realised I still remember which MNer said women should pick partners more carefully to avoid DV (years ago), the types who always sneer at tenants, or seem to have it in for the disabled.

But when I think of compassionate MNers that I like and clearly have a range of life experience informing their empathy, I mainly remember biographical details and great posts but not NNs so much. (DawnDonnaAgain, HelenaDove and maybe two others that I'm not even completely sure of pop into my head as exceptions.)

Is there something wrong with the way my memory works?

[ilovesooty]

I can't see this thread going well quite frankly.

[AdrenalineFudge]

I get what you mean. I'm quite similar but I think there's only one MNetter who I always disagree with and always find myself rolling my eyes at her comments.

I thought the 'the whole thread was a bit council' was said in jest - as it was a TAAT.

[Just5minswithDacre]

However, in this instance it would be more logical to ask 'am I typical' or 'am I unusual'

True

[Just5minswithDacre]

That makes a lot of sense bumbley

[DoinItFine]

I tend to only remember the start of people's names so I get mixed up between all the various Mrses and BitOfFun and BitOutOfPractice.

I think humour is more memorable than anything else.

[Goingtobeawesome]

Maybe it's a bit like we remember criticism rather than praise. Bad stuff rather than happy.

[JoyFantastic]

"The evil that men do..." I never realised that was Shakespeare, to me it's an Iron Maiden song everyday's a school day here.

[Sparklingbrook]

I agree with sooty. This thread is a bit

[ovaryhill]

Bumble, the ones that praise certain posters like that I feel are rather inadequate and lacking self esteem
It reminds me schoolgirls trying to get in with the popular mean girl
I feel if more posters stood up for someone getting attacked and challenged these keyboard warriors more it might be a more pleasant place
There's no kudos in being a cunt to someone from behind a screens, you don't know the poster you're attacking and you could be seriously damaging someone's mental health
I remember one poster being told she should have her vagina sewn up, I think she was an ow but can't remember,just vile
Also the one word "yuck or urgh" answer to someone looking for help, its not big or cleve
I remember the name of one particular poster who was dreadful to me, I asked an innocuous question about childcare under a different user name and was left in tears by one well know poster
I left after that for ages ,

[DrDreReturns]

me too JoyFantastic!

[lovelyandnormal]

ovary, yes, yes!

[lovelyandnormal]

It's Mark Antony's speech in Julius Caesar, Joy :)

Not sure how accurate it is

[DoinItFine]

So let it be with Caesar!

I love that play so much. :)

[ovaryhill]

You sometimes see on here "it's just words on a screen" which strictly speaking it is, but it's also real people with feelings reading those words and people would do well to remember that and think of the potential consequences before spewing forth their bile and vitriol

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I ask "but what is the question here on non-aibu aibus all the time!" Will wear my cunt badge with pride.

[Sparklingbrook]

Bile and vitriol should be reported.

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

I have an awful memory, but there are certainly a few people IRL and online I remember - and thus think about - more than I should. Do think it's important to remember that sometimes people say horrible things, but they're not immediately horrible people. It's very easy if you're an extra sensitive person (and that's not a criticism) or having a rough time when something happens for it to become an obsessive thought, that you can't get rid of, and keeps circling in your head. The same with remembering the names of people who have said those things.

So I guess,, YABU as it may well be damaging you more, but it is part of the human condition to remember those taht have hurt us.

[DoinItFine]

Is it in the shape of an actual cunt?

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I think it's fairly normal, tbh.
It's a bit like when people say things to you, you could get 100 compliments but the only thing that will truly stick in your mind is the one rude comment (although that may be more of a self-confidence issue, not sure).

But yes - I think it's a survival technique as well - stay away from the narsty posters who bite!

[IonaMumsnet]

Hi folks. This does seem to be a bit of a TAAT and this sort of thing never ends well. OP - we've dropped you a line, but just to reiterate, do feel free to start a new thread on the same subject. It's an interesting discussion - we just think it's a debate better had without the very specific examples. We'll delete this one shortly.

[ExConstance]

Oh yes, there are two I will never forget, MN royalty too!

[LilyandGinger]

But who we think is 'nasty' and 'nice' is very subjective.

I suspect none of us think that we are nasty but there's at least one poster in this thread that is on my personal 'arsey poster' list.

I don't think most people are trying to be mean, it will just reject their own feelings, experience, beliefs etc at the time.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yeah, I always remember the ones I don't like.

[TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat]

The examples given here on indeed on any other such thread (because let's face it - this is a bit of a 'who's your favourite MN'er thread isn't? Dressed up as something else, but it is) are wholly subjective. One woman's meat and all that.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

IonaMN - can't you just redact the identifying bits in the OP?