To remember NNs of MNers posting unpleasant things most clearly?

[Just5minswithDacre]

Is it a recognised psychological phenomenon? Do we remember bad things better?

I've just realised I still remember which MNer said women should pick partners more carefully to avoid DV (years ago), the types who always sneer at tenants, or seem to have it in for the disabled.

But when I think of compassionate MNers that I like and clearly have a range of life experience informing their empathy, I mainly remember biographical details and great posts but not NNs so much. (DawnDonnaAgain, HelenaDove and maybe two others that I'm not even completely sure of pop into my head as exceptions.)

Is there something wrong with the way my memory works?

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Yes you have a point Aye. To answer your question op, I think I am the opposite to you and I tend to notice posters who are consistently wise and funny and kind.

[bumbleymummy]

YY lovely! Goady = I don't agree with you so you're obviously just trying to piss people off!

[Sparklingbrook]

At least the people that don't namechange hourly can be easily avoided.

If they turn up you can hide the thread.

[AdrenalineFudge]

Why do people keep lists and spreadsheets? Isn't that slightly odd?

[Sparklingbrook]

I have a post it note. The spreadsheet is a MN myth I think.

[CatThiefkeith]

The thing is though, since this in an anonymous forum, people tend to be much franker than they would in real life.

Disliking a poster for the rest of eternity because they said one thing you disliked seems really harsh, since they could, for all you or I know, have been having the worst day of their life.

Posters that consistently offend you are obviously different, but a one off post is not a good measure of someone I don't think.

And I say this as someone who has a little gang of posters that absolutely hate me and often post on a thread specifically to call me a troll

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

You see I just can't see me saying that I enjoy reading KurriKurris posts means anything at all other than what I have just said. I can't namecheck all 800,000 members so why would anyone feel left out.

[ilovesooty]

I don't think goady equals disagreement at all.

[lovelyandnormal]

Neither do I sooty but some posters will use it as a way to discredit another poster. It happened to me once, under a different name, and although the topic was controversial it was very non specific (not about another Mumsnetter) and I was polite and considered - still got attacked for being a goady fucker though

[bumbleymummy]

I meant that accusations of Goady/GF are often made simply because someone disagrees with them.

I don't think I have a favourite poster. Some people post good advice on some subjects or can be very funny and then are completely horrible (IMO) on others. I agree that someone's opinion on a certain subject on MN doesn't define them as a person. We all have our good and bad sides!

[Sparklingbrook]

People are sometimes GFs without realising. Usually it's on a topic.

[BlossomMagic]

YANBU but I remember only about 3 posters' names: one because she lives in the same overseas city as me (and posts a lot); one (also posts v regularly) who once mentioned my hometown as where she grew up and one who posts a lot, but about whom I know nothing apart from her sweary nickname (and who posts often). I just don't read the threads in the manner of trying to build profiles.

I'm not saying you're a stalker, OP, I just don't register names.

[lovelyandnormal]

I would disagree there Sparkling. A GF comes on to deliberately stir trouble.

I mean, otherwise we'd need a list of banned topics and opinions

[WorraLiberty]

I think some people like the favourite Mumsnetter threads more than they care to let on actually

They tend to go from 0 - 100 posts in minutes because know they cause a bun fight and let's face it, whether we admit it or not, a lot of us like a good bun fight to read when the boards are quiet.

I suspect they're full of silent lurkers, avidly refreshing to see if they get a mention and when they don't - or worse still when their least favourite posters are hailed as someone else's favourite...they'll then hit report and post to say 'these threads are just awful'.

A bit like the denial over how popular the Daily Mail actually is on Mumsnet

But those are just my musings....

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

Sorry if this has been mentioned before (I've not read every comment as my PC's on a go-slow) but I think I've read that we remember bad stuff as it's a defence mechanism. That being the case you can learn from whatever the bad thing is and you can protect yourself from a repeat.

Lord knows I can't be the only one who sometimes lies awake at night with my mind drifting back to bad/embarrassing/shameful things I've said/done or have heard/seen.

[ovaryhill]

As an example, I have a friend who loves mumsnet, she would never post for help though as she has dyslexia and has seen posters ripped apart for their spelling and grammar
Although to be fair I don't think that has been as bad lately
To my shame I once posted on thread with what I though was a funny comment about a word the poster used
It became apparent as the thread went on that the poster was dyslexic and I felt just awful
It's made me stop and think every time now
It's too easy to ridicule and shame people , and yes I do feel people tend to remember the bad comments rather than the good as by their very nature they can have more impact

[WorraLiberty]

people know they cause a bunfight.

Not sure who stole my people??

[Sparklingbrook]

GFs also start threads. As well as swoop onto the threads. They are multi taskers. Unfortunately.

[MiffleTheIntrovert]

These threads don't end well. To me, it feels a bit like bitching behind the bike sheds. I dislike people "hinting" about certain posters they don't like with veiled comments and encouraging others to join in.

With the amount of NCIng these days it's almost impossible to keep track. Someone who you think is a tool on one thread might also have a user name where they are generally perfectly pleasant.

I think if people have an issue with someone "being mean" (bike sheds again!) they should raise it at the time and on the relevant thread. Like the adults we all are!

[Sparklingbrook]

There are quite a few thread topics now where there's no point posting because you can see exactly what will happen. Because it will be identical to any other thread on the subject.

[ThenLaterWhenItGotDark]

What is totes hilaires about the favourite threads is that everybody mentioned arrives onto the thread within a 3 second interval of being named.
Then someone asks after Buppers and Getorf and lots of 'hellair darling' starts, then the hoi polloi arrive and chunter about royalty and AF and the thread goes boom.

I think I've covered everything there...

[AdrenalineFudge]

I think ease of username comprehension also play a part. I can't remember those who have who have nearly whole sentences as NNs.

[lovelyandnormal]

Well yes, they do sparkling, I'm not denying they do indeed exist but rather that the accusations of being one interpret loosely to 'someone has posted something controversial.'

To me, a GF would be someone with the sole intention to start a big row, not to use the boards for all their support/advice.

I apologise unequivocally if I am wrong, but that post does sound rather as if you were hinting heavily I am, and I can assure you I am not.

[Sparklingbrook]

Good summary Then