AIBU to do this?

[NipplyNamechanger]

I have 3 DC. Each birth has been followed by massive PPHs and I've been put into an induced coma for 24-48 hours afterwards. It's hugely stressful for my husband to see me that way.

First baby was an IVF baby after 4 heartbreaking attempts. Haven't used any contraception since as didn't believe I could get pregnant naturally (but evidently I can). I'd happily have 100 babies.

Someone has said that I/we are being extremely selfish to keep having babies when I could potentially have a fatal bleed afterwards (as I did with my first) and leave the children motherless. We aren't close to the hospital and only just got there in time for number 3. I don't think about the risks because I think each child is a gift.

AIBU?

I think the OP sounds very much like my SIL a bit entitled and spoilt.
You have three children, time to step up and look after them yourselves. Send the inlaws home with instructions to see all the grandchildren equally as possible. This will damage your Dh's relationship with his siblings, his family monopolizing the grandparents like this.
You may think the charity can't run without you, but no one is irreplaceable, if you dropped of the face of the earth tomorrow it would still be running along without you. No one is that important.

I agree the comments about 'work couldn't cope without me' smack of unbelievable arrogance too! NOBODY is indispensable and if they're coping so poorly that brings their own competence seriously into question!

You've given birth to 3 dc but you're hardly parenting them! Every parent changes their routine to accommodate their children you've just gone back to work ASAP and as far as I can tell very little has changed for your dh at all!!

OP I do feel for you...I think you hadn't at all realised how you come across and perhaps have been living in a bit of a bubble. And it would be nice if everyone on here remembered that you do have a newborn, lots of hormones floating about plus the realisation that it might have been your last child. I realise you may be sad about that but focus on the kids you do have rather than trying to recreate your childhood family.

In response to your original question - yabu to consider another child. But I hope you would have realised that yourself once the hormones settled and you thought it through.

Regarding PILs and childcare arrangements - no one here can really judge as we don't know the dynamics of your family. What you should take away from this is that it is an unusual situation and whilst it might suit you and perhaps your PILs like it too, you and dh definitely need to have an open conversation with them about whether they want more choice or time to do other things etc.

My real question for you is what do you think is he quality of your relationship with your children? I am a bit taken aback that you are so keen to get back to work and whilst I understand ML is not a great time for everyone, you seem to have made no changes at all in your work/life balance to accommodate your kids. How old are they? Your job seems very demanding plus taking you away overnight and weekends. So either your job is your priority (your choice, personally i disagree with that ethos once you have kids) or you really do need to address your work life balance to be able to spend more quality time with your kids. But given this situation I cannot understand why you would want another child, other than to reach a 'magic' number that resembles your own childhood. I think perhaps you have a few issues re. Childhood, the loss of your mother, coping postnatally? Maybe I have got it wrong but it may help to speak to someone (and not get torn down for it like on aibu). I think if you address a few of your own issues you may find that you are very content with the family you already have.

My real question for you is what do you think is he quality of your relationship with your children?

^yes, yes THAT is what I was getting too worked up to say!!

The OP's writing style is quite familiar. I want to say who I think it is, but I don't think it's allowed.

Do it!