re widowed MIL and wedding ring?

[lulucappuccino]

FIL died (relatively young) three weeks ago, after a long illness. MIL isn't a particularly warm person, but they had a long, good marriage.

I noticed that that she's not wearing her wedding ring (not a one-off, it's been several occasions).

She's definitely not on the lookout for another man.

I haven't mentioned this to DH.

I think it's odd. It's absolutely up to her though, of course. Her marriage. Her grief. Her finger!

Just seems a bit odd. I'm being unreasonable to think that though, aren't I?

Do you think she could have put the ring with him in his coffin?

Like you, I would be curious, but as so many have said grief strikes people in different ways. Perhaps it went in his coffin, perhaps the weight of it is too much to bear. But from what you have said she sounds completely devoted and perhaps better to put it quietly to the back of your mind and help her through her difficult time. Perhaps one day an appropriate moment will arise when you can ask, but not now. I am sorry for your family's loss x

My husband is dead and I don't wear my wedding ring- does that mean I didn't give a shit about him?

And by the way- stop pointing out what you did for your FIL- you are not redeeming yourself in any way at all. and think youre bigging yourself up

You haven't the shiniest shitting clue to know whats its like to bury your husband.

I'm not bigging myself up. I haven't mentioned half of it.

No, it isn't in his coffin.

I can't be arsed to debate it- I'm sure you have been a fab DIL to both your FIL and your cold odd MIL who clearly didn't give a shit about her own husband.

Loads of people help care for dying relatives, OP. And they don't then claim the right to sit in judgement over their grieving spouse.

Your husband is still alive. Tracy is right, you have no idea.

Of course loads of people care for dying relatives. Why point that out?

Yabu. It is probably her way of grieving.

Because you keep banging on about all the caring you did !!

RTT, Going - I was answering questions and replying to comments.

OP, those of us who listen to religious stuff are taught not to judge, and also taught that what people do is more important than what they say. Sounds like you did plenty.

lulu I believe going clearly read the full thread because you explain judgement by telling us all you apparently did while your MIL was out having the life of reilly!

You're seriously wonderful OP- I hope you get stuck with a DIL just like you some day.

She didn't have the life of reilly and I hope to never have to rely on any in-law.

Yes- I'm sure she's living the dream having to rely on you to judge her

All women dream of burying their husbands years early and hoping that they get the support of their families in the process. Don't you realise that?

Read my post again.

As I said before- you haven't a clue what she is going through.

She DIDN'T have the life or Reilly. Your critique is very welcome, but please read properly.

She didn't have the life of reilly and I hope to never have to rely on any in-law.

I'm sure you do hope not to have to rely on any in law. Especially if they turn out to be like you

Hello again, Dozy.
If they are like me, I'll be ok. Safe, cared for and as healthy as possible.
Actually, this thread had been useful. It's helped to remind me that it's good to know you've done your best for someone.

If you say so sneaky lulu Give yourself a pat on the back then eh. Oh wait, you already have been....

I don't wear my wedding ring because it's too snug to be comfortable so I wear a diamond eternity style ring instead because it must be a size bigger. I never thought I'd take my ring off, we've been married 16 years. I don't see how it's anyone's business why you MIL has taken gets off, could be a hundred possible reasons and now is not the time to think about it.

Thanks. Will do.

Well you already did. But go ahead and give yourself another pat if it makes you feel like a better person. I guess you need all the validation you can get.

Thanks... again.