To be considering rehoming my two cats

[dairymilkmonster]

Didn't put this on pet forum as too scared!

Major quandry here. We have two cats, age 6, who we have had since they were kittens. Initially I loved them very much but they came untrained (despite the claim from the household i got them from) and took about 4mo to train which put my dh off immediately. DH had tried to talk me out of having them initially.

Current issues:

1. In the past year i have been increasingly becoming allergic to the cats. My eyes are watering and itchy whenever i touch them (so i avoid it now) and i am having to close the doors to stop them going on the bed /sofa or I am coming up in a rash. Unfortunately they have reasonably thick fur and shed everywhere (more so than various friends cats) so i am constantly hoovering to prevent me sneezing and sniffling. I can't really love the cats properly like this and am finding i am getting resentful of the extra work and symptoms.

1. My ds1 actively dislikes the cats and always has for some inexplicable reason. He always chases them out of the room (4yrs) and shouts at them. I have endlessly worked on this, read books about nice pets that we love, talked about being kind to animals and even at school they did something on caring for pets. I asked him today to tell me all the things he liked and disliked about the cars. He came up with 10things he didnt like ( essentially, them existing) and nothing he did!

1. DH has no interest in the cats (ds2 is a baby and hasnt really noticed them yet!) and just thinks they stress me out and create work and expense.

Recently we have started discussing rehoming them. hoping they might go somewhere where they can be well cared for but perhaps recieve more love /strokes than here and reduce my allergic symptoms and household stress considerably. Moral dilemma - what if i regret it? Is this just really selfish and cruel? do i have a moral obligation to these cats?

AIBU to do this or even consider it?
Thoughts welcome.

Being rude to the OP and attacking her parenting won't help. I've never hit any of my children and they don't chase and shout at our pets.

lottie I imagine you treat your pets with empathy and model positive behaviour, which the OP hasn't done.

Well, certainly I find it odd amd sad that the OP used to love her cats but now doesn't. I love the bones of my cat and nothing will ever change that.

I agree she should punish him but remove privileges - not smack.

Wow sometimes, very rarely, do I feel at odds with mn but crikey this thread. OP to you and your poor DS who has been subject to horrible abuse for just being four! Such weird hypocrisy from those deploring so called animal abuse (not even hitting!!) but relishing the idea of your DS getting a smack! Thank goodness these utterly misguided weirdos are not representative of the animal lovers I, and probably you, know in real life. Hugs from me and you don't need my advice but it does sound like you are being v sensible and looking for a nice house for your cats.

mary ffs, putting cats before humans?no not everybody is saying that but people are annoyed that these cats are being hurt!
You know whay i'm sick of? ( not actually the op's case here) but animals being abused and people just brushing it off because it's just kids and they don't mean too.
Well, the animals don't know that!
I never grew up terrorising any of my families pets, nor have any of my young relatives and one of them dislikes cats and dogs.
All my cats now are abondoned cats. They came to us in a terrible state, terrified. It's taken a lot of work to get them to realise that we aren't going to hurt them or abondon them.
In last few years i have ended up out of work due to ill health and with asthma but i will never give up on them. I will put them first.

But the OP's son does shout at and chase her pets and all she's done to step in and stop it is to read him books about animals

That seems to be an entirely deliberate obfuscation of the facts, wicker. OP said she had also used time out punishments, sending him out of the room and letting cats back in, toy confiscation, and reward systems. If those don't work, hitting him won't either. I suspect the reality is that for some reason he's scared of them, or has picked up on the fact that they cause his mother work and stress, or possibly that he has some social communication problems leading to difficulty in empathising with animals. Again, you can't hit those out of children.

horrible abuse just for being four

No, for frightening and distressing animals.

One poster has suggested smacking. Others have not, but have said the OP should not tolerate it.

I asked on the first page what happens if he decides he dislikes his brother. No one has answered, apart from one poster who said 'well, he doesn't.'

Smacking might not be the answer but a bloody good rollicking is definitely called for. What's going to happen if he decides to start screeching in some dog's face and ends up getting bitten?

Respect for animals should be taught as a matter of course, whether you have animals or not. No-one lives in a bubble, dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters are all around

Snort at Rattle

Edges carefully around the peculiar demands for violence towards a preschooler, that seem to have peppered the last couple of pages.

I cannot imagine how you get to a situation where a child repeatedly goes for a cat. But I do know that children come in all sorts of varieties, and they can be complex little creatures. I also know that having children that you find easy doesn't bestow a universal parenting talent that will work on all children and all situations.

So with full knowledge of my ignorance, I would say children pick up on the feeling of their parents. So his daddy dislikes the cats and doesn't want them, and unfortuneately you can't no near them now either.

Kids never do the 'do as I say not as I do' thing. Annoyingly!

Add to that any fear of the cats and you get a problem.

I think rehoming is a sad necessity.