To be offended that my cousin sent this gift back?

[FlyRussianUnicorn]

Cousins little girl has just turned 8. Very much a girly girl and loves dressing up, playing with her mums makeup etc.

I got her some dressing up outfits and some play makeup for her birthday- actual toy stuff, not "real" makeup.

Cousin has sent it back in the mail. I contacted her and asked her why and apparently it isn't appropriate for a 8 year old to have her own makeup. I'm talking cheap stuff in plastic tat- lipgloss and eyeliner and a cheap nail art set. I didn't want to cause an argument so I apologise and she seemed really pissed off.

AIBU to be offended?

[NewYearNewToads]

All the 8 year olds i know love this kind of stuff. Its just a phase and you dont let them leave the house with it on. No big deal.

That's pretty much what I think.

I had a toy makeup set when I was around that age and I loved it. Tbh I mostly used it as a face paint more than using it as actual makeup but it was fun.

I was only allowed to wear it in the house and wasn't allowed outside with it on.

No harm done.

[RevealTheHiddenBeach]

An inappropriately genderised gift and a rude recipient? This is mumsnet GOLD!

[GreenTomatoJam]

It was an innappropriate gift (eyeliner! 8 year olds shouldn't be anywhere near that -t he hygeine implications alone!)

I would probably have just chucked it, but I actually admire the ovaries on your cousin for sending it back and telling you why.

[EverySongbirdSays]

Agree with all previous posters who have said they would have binned it. Though she was U to send it back, you were U to buy it. Make up is one of "those" gifts that mums vary wildly about how they feel about it. A bit like pierced ears. Also high heels. I get where she's coming from she handled it badly, but may have been offended by its purchase to start with. Best check in future

[NewYearNewToads]

Eyeliner is a no no for a child, I agree. My toy makeup set mostly consisted of lots of lipsticks and eye shadows which like I've said, I mostly used as face paint.

[GinAndColonic]

A terrible gift and a terrible reaction.

[SirChenjin]

I'm with you New - really can't see the harm in a lip gloss and stick on nail art.

[bloodyteenagers]

When did kids makeup start including eyeliner anyway?

[OnwardsAndUpwardsYo]

People are being a bit OTT here to be honest. I used to pinch my sisters Avon things to play with when I was that age. Little girls love pretend 'be like mummy' toys.

Even if she's someone who disagrees with them however, completely and utterly rude.

[NewYearNewToads]

I also loved nail art as a child

[expatinscotland]

'Best check in the future.'

Or just don't send anything but a card. She gets the hump with you, tell her to learn some manners.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yanbu she is rude and nasty and has no right to be pissed off. She should have thanked you and Mabey regifted. That woukd be the last time I sent anything.

[Aeroflotgirl]

My goodness, people read the op, the little girl loves dressing up, and playing with her mums make up ffs! Bet she would not have sent it back if it was Chanel or Clarins .

[NewYearNewToads]

Is it because people tend to view wearing makeup as wanting to make yourself look prettier and they don't want that sort of thinking passed on to an 8 year old?

Understandable if so.

However I like wearing makeup because I like to experiment with different colours, shades, etc and seeing what works. It sounds childish to say it, but yes, I find it fun

[SirChenjin]

Maybe it wasn't eyeliner - more like one of those eyeshadow crayons?

[Hulababy]

loves dressing up, playing with her mums makeup

----

So, not inappropriate to send children's play make up - assume it is that type of stuff which comes off in minutes and nail polish that peels off, etc. Based on how the child plays already - with mum's makeup, etc - then I wouldn't deem it in appropriate. When the OP says eyeliner I assume it is one of those little wipe on/off play eye shadow crayons - see them a lot of play makeup.

Its make believe, pretend role play stuff based on what the OP knows the child already enjoys playing.

Incredibly rude of the woman to return the gift in this way. Even if you don't like a gift, you smile and say thank you - it would have to be really offensive to justify returning and commenting in such a negative manner.

No gifts from now on.

[anRsole]

wow, my daughter is the same age. i've just bought her an eye liner, mascara and eye shadow things. not kids stuff, but proper stuff. she's not to leave the house with it on mind. i draw the line at lipgloss for parties tho.
your cousin was rude to send it back and get all arsey, especially as you said she already plays with the stuff at home.

[CotswoldStrife]

YANBU OP, they give this kind of thing away on the front of magazines! My DD was given peel-off nail varnish as a present for her birthday by a classmate when she was younger than that, she loved it!

[MissPunnyMany]

Oh for goodness sake. There is way too much pearl-clutching going on here.

Little girls like messing around with make up, I'd have been delighted to receive something like that as a kid and most of my friends did have things like that. I was so jealous of my friend's nail varnish collection. Its just like face paint. Eye liner isn't a good idea but there is no biggie about a bit of lipgloss or eye shadow.

I don't see anything wrong with the gift but had they not wanted her to have it they should have just taken it away. Why say anything? It wasn't their money, it was yours, and it was kids make up. If someone sent my 8 year old an inappropriate dvd or game then fair enough to say something, but play make-up? Really?

It was bloody rude of them and I would send nothing in future.

gets down off high horse and huffs off

[SabineUndine]

I wouldn't have liked it as a gift for a little girl of that age but sending it back is deliberately offensive.

[prettywhiteguitar]

Hmmmm over the top reaction from her ! Maybe send a gift card, so she can pick her own present ? My children love to go to toys r us with a gift card, it's very exciting for them !

[coldcanary]

She was rude. Eyeliner isn't exactly appropriate for an 8 year old but considering my own eyeliner is generally used to draw whiskers and animal faces on the DD's and various other children she could have found a use for it on dressing up occasions!
She was incredibly rude though and I would feel rather self conscious about buying Christmas & birthday presents for a while if it happened to a present I had bought.

[witsender]

My 5 yr old has some kiddie nail varnish that she loves, and I'll happily paint hers and her brother's toe nails for fun. It is having stuff on their faces I worry about as like me, their skin may be sensitive. They have been known to play with mine however!

[Nocabbageinmyeye]

Don't hold back there folks

I can't see op buying play make-up again. I actually don't think it's that bad, I certainly wouldn't have binned it.

I feel sorry for the op she was only doing something nice