To be offended that my cousin sent this gift back?

[FlyRussianUnicorn]

Cousins little girl has just turned 8. Very much a girly girl and loves dressing up, playing with her mums makeup etc.

I got her some dressing up outfits and some play makeup for her birthday- actual toy stuff, not "real" makeup.

Cousin has sent it back in the mail. I contacted her and asked her why and apparently it isn't appropriate for a 8 year old to have her own makeup. I'm talking cheap stuff in plastic tat- lipgloss and eyeliner and a cheap nail art set. I didn't want to cause an argument so I apologise and she seemed really pissed off.

AIBU to be offended?

Wow - another one who'd not want their DC to have that gift, but also would never send it back - surprised she went to all the effort of packaging it up, going ot the post office and send it to you, when she could have just put to one side and never mentioned it again...

Hate makeup on kids, even the play stuff - but it was shitty of her to send it back.

I think that's so rude. Seriously. My DD isn't allowed makeup but I wouldn't dream of sending a gift back.

god thinking about it more, the effort she went to in order to be rude to you is something. And that's not a spur of the moment thing, it will have taken a bit of time to sort, so if she was pissed off, she had time to stop and think about it. Wow. She's rude.

Don't send anything again.

I would have chucked the make up an completley inappropriate for an 8 year old girl. No thank you. I would not have sent it back, but ...

If it was from just a 'friend' of my daughter, I would just toss it and not say anything.

If it was from a family member, however, I would say something, politely, because I wouldn't want a repeat of this type of present.

Unbelievably rude. No more gifts, I'm afraid. If she brings it up, I'd say, 'Oh, didn't know what would be appropriate. Don't want to give you cause to have to go to the post office.' Rude bitch.

Only on MN!

Utter nonsense.

Is she sending the whole lot back or just the makeup?

Why is it inappropriate?

Genuine question btw.

Inappropriate gift.

I think the gift is inappropriate, but she was just plain rude.
I'd be sending her cards filled with glitter and a couple of quid in pennies from now on just to piss her off.

Well dont hold back on telling her what you think, she obviously values honesty!
Yep, no more gifts after that rude strop

I would be binning it, too. Agree sending back is rude.

Cannot believe anyone thinks an eight year old should be encouraged to slather shit all over their face.

This isn't just a MN perspective - know loads of non-MNers who would agree.

A lot of parents (as evidenced by this thread) would have thought this was a completely inappropriate gift for an eight-year-old. And it certainly isn't just a mumsnet thing. I know several different local friends were deeply unimpressed when their 6/7 year old daughters were invited to a birthday 'pamper party' by a classmate at the local school, which offered an advance priced 'menu' of different kinds of manicure and make-up options.

I would have binned it, but someone more forthright would have sent it back and told the giver why, as your cousin did. I'm not entirely sure whether I find that primarily rude or admirable. I certainly would have wondered privately about the judgement of someone who gave an eight-year-old makeup.

Sending back was rude.

However, it was an inappropriate present.

All the 8 year olds i know love this kind of stuff. Its just a phase and you dont let them leave the house with it on. No big deal.

Cross post, TeaCaddy! Was going to mention Pamper Parties too. My SIL runs them and keeps mentioning that my daughters might like it. They're both under two!

I am also stunned that it looks like she sent it back with no explanation
Again I say this while understanding why she was opposed to it, but so rude.

I wouldn't like it if my DD received this. Your cousin was rude to send it back without an explanation. Maybe she thought you would get a refund for it so as to not have wasted your money (clutching at straws here).

I'm not a pearl clutcher but I definitely don't think eyeliner is appropriate, just because it's tricky to put on for a child and a bit tacky for them to wear it IMO. I wouldn't have returned the gift though.

Even if you think the present is inappropriate then it's still very rude to just send it back.

I have had my fair share of odd/inappropriate/bad presents in my lifetime but I would never dream of just sending them back.

You just get rid of it surely?

newYearToads

Because This

And that was done by an adult on a child.
Plus, have you ever got eyeliner in your eye..? Ouch!!

How rude. Regardless of what they thought of the present, it was a lovely thought, well intended (don't all little girls play with lipstick, although maybe not eyeliner, I'd have poked my eye out). Don't fret, you meant no harm.