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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make DH make all the coffees?

152 replies

StuRedman · 03/04/2016 19:58

I drink A LOT of coffee, starting from the one DH brings me in bed at 6.30am. Obvs when he's at work during the day I make my own but when he's home I ask him to make all my drinks for me. It's just nicer to drink a hot drink that's been made for you.

For balance I do make him the odd cup of tea but then he only ever has one occasionally.

He's just grumbled slightly at making me one just now and I replied that it's the basic foundation of our marriage. There are certain things I always do for him, and his job is to keep me supplied with coffees.

AIBU?

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 03/04/2016 20:01

On the surface of it, you sound ridiculous. Do you work? Have kids? How are the household tasks divided up?

Primaryteach87 · 03/04/2016 20:02

Depends if you do something he values for him. If you always make dinner for example then I'd say it's fair.

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2016 20:03

His job is to keep you supplied with coffees... You sound like a pampered princess to me. I'd be pouring the coffees over your head.

ilovesooty · 03/04/2016 20:04

Depends what you do for him I suppose but it sounds a bit spoilt to me.

Marshy · 03/04/2016 20:04

That would get right on my wick. Make your own flippin coffee!

PPie10 · 03/04/2016 20:05

You sound a bit of a lazy lump.

Original poster
StuRedman · 03/04/2016 20:05

I don't work due to ill health. We have three DC, two teens and a preschooler and we probably both do an equal amount of housework and childcare. I do 90% of the cooking though.

OP posts:
Marshy · 03/04/2016 20:05

.....and make him one while you're at it..

Original poster
StuRedman · 03/04/2016 20:06

I just really like having hot drinks made for me. It feels more of a luxury than making it myself, and it sort of tastes nicer.

OP posts:
Excited101 · 03/04/2016 20:07

You sound like my DFriend, I tell her off for being utterly ridiculous too.

curren · 03/04/2016 20:07

If dh expected me to 'always' do something as proof I loved him, it would get very old very quickly.

If dh is putting the kettle on he'll ask if I want one. If I want a drink I offer him one as well.

He clearly is pissed off with it and you don't care, so Yabu.

Original poster
StuRedman · 03/04/2016 20:07

I'd better not tell you that sometimes I tap my nails on my empty cup or just say 'ding ding' to let him know I'd like a drink....BlushGrin

OP posts:
MrsBertMacklin · 03/04/2016 20:08

He's your husband, not your Butler! Goodness grief.

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2016 20:09

YABU to 'make' him do anything.

YANBU to ask him and he would not BU to say no, if he doesn't want to keep making your drinks.

NeedACleverNN · 03/04/2016 20:09

Yeah yabu

If he offers lovely

But if you want a drink you get it yourself

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2016 20:09

Just like summoning the butler. Well, if he's happy to do it you can't argue with that, I suppose. what do you do for him??

Primaryteach87 · 03/04/2016 20:10

I'm obviously in the minority in thinking if you do 90% of cooking he can do 90% of hot drinks! I've clearly a slavedriver....

Chillyegg · 03/04/2016 20:12

Oooooo dear well um ok dp you do anything for your husband in return?

flingingmelon · 03/04/2016 20:12

I'm with you OP. I wouldn't dream of making my own coffee at home. DH does all of it.

In return I cook all of the food, clean the entire house and do the lions share of the childcare.

I presume you take on your fair share
of things?

timeforabrewnow · 03/04/2016 20:13

FFS - You are being unreasonable and just a teeny bit silly. Make it yerself.

Zarah123 · 03/04/2016 20:13

What do you 'always do for him'?

NoCapes · 03/04/2016 20:15

DP makes probably 95% of my brews when he's around, it definitely tastes nicer when someone else makes one for you Brew

However just tapping the cup or saying 'ding ding' to him is really fucking rude!

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2016 20:15

Yeah but didn't you type some big fuck off list of things your DH does in the house, as well as going out to work and working overtime etc?

So it's not like you do more than he does on an average day, is it?

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 03/04/2016 20:16

You know coffee really isn't good for you, especially in large quantities- could it be a cause of your ill health or totally unrelated?

Otherwise yabu and aoubds a bit high maintenance. F you share the housework and childcare, when he is** at work all day what do you do? Hmm

ilovesooty · 03/04/2016 20:16

If you do an equal amount of housework and childcare and he goes to work as well I don't think it would hurt you to make your own coffee.