To make DH make all the coffees?

[StuRedman]

I drink A LOT of coffee, starting from the one DH brings me in bed at 6.30am. Obvs when he's at work during the day I make my own but when he's home I ask him to make all my drinks for me. It's just nicer to drink a hot drink that's been made for you.

For balance I do make him the odd cup of tea but then he only ever has one occasionally.

He's just grumbled slightly at making me one just now and I replied that it's the basic foundation of our marriage. There are certain things I always do for him, and his job is to keep me supplied with coffees.

AIBU?

Are you taking the piss?

Please please don't bring BPD into this

I shouldn't have mentioned the BPD, I just wanted to give the whole picture. I know from therapy that I can come across as needy, clingy, manipulative etc but that I'm not, I just have fucked up filters that I need to challenge.

Anyway, having bpd isn't the reason I make my DH wait on me, that's just because I'm a bit of a lazy princess. But he doesn't mind.

I like looking after my gf and I like when she looks after me. But neither of us demand it, or even ask for it, we both do it cause we want to

I'm not sure why anyone would be proud of being a lazy princess. It's not exactly something to aspire to. It's attitudes like this that perpetuate the stereotypes of people with mental illnesses.

Are you totally sure he doesn't mind?

Totally sure.

Then it's fine innit

Anyway, having bpd isn't the reason I make my DH wait on me, that's just because I'm a bit of a lazy princess. But he doesn't mind.

You don't make him wait on you.

You ask him to and for whatever reason, he doesn't seem to mind.

I know a couple where the wife's a bit like this. When her daughter formed a serious relationship it came as a bit of a shock to her when her boyfriend didn't play ball.

You just sound like a bit of a twat to be honest. I too have health problems (though very slowly improving thank God), and my DH has to do a lot for me as well, but thankfully I am usually able to make myself a hot drink and to make him one too. Thinking of all the times he has had to take on the burden of things at home plus caring for me when I am very ill, well I am very thankful and the least I can do is share in the tea making!

It's all a bit wierd but then lots of relationships seem odd from the outside!
Absolutely not my choice to have dh as my bitch/butler/barista but dh and I do little things to look after each other that I suspect others would find odd.
I am far too invested in this situation

I'm with you

I'll make DH a tea whenever he asks for one, on the same principle that it tastes nicer when it's made for you. But he only rarely has a tea and I drink coffee all day.

Mine just made me a cup of tea as I was snuggled under a blanket and a cosy...So I guess I can't say much!

It's a big deal for me too.

I do the lions share of the housework - and am constitutionally unable to go to the kitchen, make a hot drink and then sit down to drink it. I get sidetracked with wiping the counter or starting dinner and just grab sips of coffee as I go. . When DH fixes it for me, he makes sure I'm sitting with a book or the iPad, and I stay sitting to drink it properly, it's a major meant ant for me - and y miss it when he travels on business,

DH rarely makes me a cup of tea... I have been training Dd to make me one. She makes a lovely cuppa. I agree having a tea made for you is the best thing.

Have you read the 5 love languages.. Sounds like your love language is "acts of service". As long as you meet your DH's love language then I don't see a problem.... But don't take him for granted. You are lucky he makes you so many cuppas

Anyway, having bpd isn't the reason I make my DH wait on me, that's just because I'm a bit of a lazy princess. But he doesn't mind.

Then why ask the question???? pointless

My OH brings me coffee in bed every morning and cooks breakfast every weekend, it's lovely and does taste better when someone does it for you. If I didn't get my coffee one morning I'd be a bit miffed to be honest just as l'm sure he'd be surprised if I didn't make him a cup of tea when he gets home from work. I don't think there is anything wrong with being used to your partner doing nice things for you or having fun with it. DP taps his tea cup sometimes - I take it for the lighthearted cheeky gesture that it is.

I'd divorce you if I was him.

If he doesn't mind, why post about him having 'grumbled'?

I'd lay off the caffeine if I were you.

Another one saying please don't make a reference to BPD whilst saying you're a pampered princess. There's a huge stigma against people with BPD being just that, rather than being ill.

I didn't mean to cause any offence. I was just explaining why I'm currently not working but why DH does 50% (it's probably less) of the housework etc.

Plus the princess comment wasn't serious, I don't think it's particularly princessy to have my drinks made for me in the wider scheme of things. We've been together a long time and he's always made my drinks for me, it's just what we do. Which I hadn't bothered posting now, I thought it might be an amusing thread but obviously I got it wrong.

*wish not which

If my ds married a woman like this I'd be so upset. One partner should not be a slave. It breeds resentment. Dsis was a princess. Bil did almost everything and dsis claimed he enjoyed looking after her. Er, it turned out he didn't. And eventually left.

Likewise I'm at a previous poster who says that one of her jobs is to plan breakfast... Eh? Unless the breakfast is a full daily buffet including kedgeree and devilled kidneys then I fail to understand how contemplating eating a bowl of cornflakes is worthy of the term "planning breakfast".