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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Guests - cheeky request?

144 replies

Toast3 · 29/03/2016 20:57

We had friends over for dinner on Easter Sunday night (2 other couples). Both couples stayed the night... I cooked a massive meal and we all spent a lovely night around the table getting pissed, eating and chatting. I cooked a big brekkie the next morning too. Each couple brought 2 bottles of wine with them, flowers for me etc.... We got through masses on the night....too many to count -admit to- lol

We didn't open one of the bottles of red that one of the couples had brought with them and as they left (he) asked if they could take it with them as we hadn't drank it.... My hubbie said 'bugger off I've got my my eye on that for later' - in a jokey way.... He couldn't believe that his friend had actually asked..

.I think we'd got though about 12 bottles between us, port, beers as they arrived etc.... it just made me feel really uncomfortable and cringey.... AIBU?

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 29/03/2016 20:59

Yanbu. Very cheeky.
Do they ever host? I think people who don't host literally have no idea.

VimFuego101 · 29/03/2016 21:02

That's really rude. If you bring wine to a dinner, it's a gift for the host, even if it doesn't get drunk at the time.

wickedlazy · 29/03/2016 21:05

I would have just thought it would save them a trip to the offies and not thought anything of him taking it home.

FarrowandBallAche · 29/03/2016 21:05

Yanbu! Very rude of your guest. Some people, however nice are very mean.

Looly71 · 29/03/2016 21:05

How rude of your guest. I don't often host but when I go to others' houses I would always rather take too many bottles than not enough as do most of my friends ime and don't know anyone who would ask for it back.

Bearbehind · 29/03/2016 21:05

As above, anything brought as a guest is a gift not on 'sale or return'- cheeky twat.

ScarletForYa · 29/03/2016 21:07

They sound tight. I'm ashamed for them. Cringe!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/03/2016 21:07

Very rude. I might occasionally offer a guest something they brought to take home if it wasn't consumed, but generally only stuff that would go off.

echt · 29/03/2016 21:09

Bloody rude. You wouldn't take back the bunch of flowers or box of chocolates. Oddly, on a couple of occasions w've been offered back the wine we've brought (we live in Australia). We just looked politely surprised and say, no, it's for you.

The wine was perfectly good, by the way.

cruikshank · 29/03/2016 21:10

YANBU. I have a friend who does this, and cringe every time she does. She really does think it's ok though. We were at a party not so long ago and as we left she said 'aren't you going to take that with you?' meaning the opened and half-finished bottled I'd brought along so I said that, no, I don't take back stuff that I've brought to parties. She didn't get it at all.

molyholy · 29/03/2016 21:13

Bloody hell. Yadnbu. That is so fucking tight. Good on your husband for telling him to bog off.

Passmethecrisps · 29/03/2016 21:13

Well Handled by your DH I reckon. When you take something you hand it over and move on. The wine is no less a gift than the flowers

Original poster

Toast3 · 29/03/2016 21:13

Thanks All. We all had such a nice evening that it's sort of over shadowed it... They have hosted before and we took masses of booze with us...I wouldn't dream of asking if I could bring it back in the , unlikely event, that we didn't drink it!
My hubbie hasn't even given it another thought and just said he was a cheeky sod (to be fair he said that to his face at the time). He definitely wasn't joking though when he asked for it... It was embarrassing! I think the other couple couldn't believe it either lol - oh well. Not the end of the earth but just wanted to check that I wasn't being out of order!

OP posts:

Vixyboo · 29/03/2016 21:16

Go your DH! He handled it brilliantly

lamiashiro · 29/03/2016 21:17

I had a friend who did this too. He'd turn up with a couple of bottles of expensive wine when we only drank cheap plonk anyway then complain after the fact that there was half a bottle of his wine in the fridge when he left, despite the fact he'd drunk everyone else's wine, been fed, entertained and given a bed for the night and breakfast. We all got so fed up with it that we stopped inviting him.

PortiaCastis · 29/03/2016 21:20

How rude. Still your dh handled it very well

TheCometAndLittleLegend · 29/03/2016 21:22

YANBU

I once had a guest pop back for a block of Tesco Value economy cheddar they'd brought to a BBQ ( to bringing it in the first place and to coming back for it).

Birdsgottafly · 29/03/2016 21:22

""My hubbie hasn't even given it another thought and just said he was a cheeky sod ""

That's the way to handle it, not overthink it.

Unless they massively take the piss in other ways, it isn't worth thinking about and certainly shouldn't 'cast a cloud over the night'.

PovertyPain · 29/03/2016 21:23

Your husband is a hoot. Good for him.
I've been on the other side, where I was invited to a friend's house for drinks and brought two bottles of really nice wine. They had brought wine to ours, previously, and said they preferred their own. We all had different preferences, so it suited us.

Only thing was, when we went to theirs, they insisted on us drinking their shit, nasty wine and put our two, expensive, gorgeous bottles in the cupboard, as they were having friends round for dinner, later in the week. My husband and I were . Needless to say it spoke volumes about the friendship.

Original poster

Toast3 · 29/03/2016 21:24

People behave so weirdly at times.... It was really out of character for them... We've always got a bit of wine in at home (coz were lushes) so maybe he thought we didn't need anymore... Not really the point though!!
Lamiashiro: that's unbelievable too! Do you think he would have honestly taken half a bottle of wine home with him?

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 29/03/2016 21:25

xpost lamiashiro
I promise, we don't ask for the wine back, we just like naice wine.

SimonLeBonOnAndOn · 29/03/2016 21:26

YANBU, how rude!
And well done to your husband for responding so brilliantly.

Original poster

Toast3 · 29/03/2016 21:27

OMG poverty pain - your story is much worse than mine! That's feckin' really, really, cheeky!!

Birdsgottafly: You're right! Thanks!

OP posts:

RubbleBubble00 · 29/03/2016 21:29

wouldn't bother me tbh. I often pack people off home with alcohol they brought as myself and dh don't drink much; when we do it's only a certain type of wine so would just be wasted at ours.

EastMidsMummy · 29/03/2016 21:29

It's a bit fucking cheeky rather than terribly rude, for me. If that's the most terrible thing that happened after a great night, with much wine drunk, I would forget about it very quickly.

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