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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guests - cheeky request?

144 replies

Toast3 · 29/03/2016 20:57

We had friends over for dinner on Easter Sunday night (2 other couples). Both couples stayed the night... I cooked a massive meal and we all spent a lovely night around the table getting pissed, eating and chatting. I cooked a big brekkie the next morning too. Each couple brought 2 bottles of wine with them, flowers for me etc.... We got through masses on the night....too many to count -admit to- lol

We didn't open one of the bottles of red that one of the couples had brought with them and as they left (he) asked if they could take it with them as we hadn't drank it.... My hubbie said 'bugger off I've got my my eye on that for later' - in a jokey way.... He couldn't believe that his friend had actually asked..

.I think we'd got though about 12 bottles between us, port, beers as they arrived etc.... it just made me feel really uncomfortable and cringey.... AIBU?

OP posts:
EverySongbirdSays · 29/03/2016 21:29

My cousin's OH does this. They always drink huge amounts of really good wine and bring absolute piss, which they decline to drink.

lamiashiro · 29/03/2016 21:31

toast I don't know. He never asked for it when he left, it would only be a day or two later and he'd suddenly start making snidey remarks about his half bottle of wine and saying stuff about his friends taking advantage because he got paid more than all of us put together.

So yeah, he was probably just a wanker.

DurhamDurham · 29/03/2016 21:32

Perfectly handled by your husband Smile

They won't ask again next time.....if there is a next time !!

ajandjjmum · 29/03/2016 21:33

People are odd. We took a lovely bottle of red to a friends when we were having supper with them. The DH refused to open it when his DW suggested that he should, and insisted they use the bottle of plonk they'd got in.

We only take rubbish there now! Grin

Cheby · 29/03/2016 21:34

YANBU. Cheeky sod.

I had a house party in my mid twenties once. All young professionals all earning the same decent money on the same training scheme. Everyone brought booze, I supplied mixers, some wine/beer and a table full of crisps etc. At the end of the party one girl made a huge deal of finding the remnants of the half bottle of JD she had brought, and asking for a carrier bag to take it home in.

Definitely still had the student mentality that everyone else had long since moved on from!

These days I find myself trying to force food and unopened booze onto overnight guests as they leave in the morning. I have a tendency to significantly over cater and I don't want food to go to waste. Just sent everyone home from my 3yo's party with a wedge of cake for their freezers. Grin

joeywife · 29/03/2016 21:35

Many years ago when I was dating, I'd had a couple of dates with this guy. I then invited him round for dinner. I cooked for him and he arrived with a bottle of wine. It was white wine and I generally drink red. This was fine as I drank some red that I already had and he had just a couple of glasses of the white that he had bought as he was driving. When he went to leave, he asked if he could take the rest of the white that he had brought home Shock. Needless to say, that was our last date!!

sleeponeday · 29/03/2016 21:37

Huh. I once offered to buy a round in a pub and an American bloke piped up and said he didn't want a drink, but could he have the money for some chips instead? I was so stunned I just handed it over - he popped down the road, bought the chips, and then came back.

I still can't fathom how anyone could think that was okay.

sleeponeday · 29/03/2016 21:38

Which is to say: people can be incredible about other people's generosity.

FreeSpirit89 · 29/03/2016 21:42

I'm the other way around I'll give un opened bottles back because I don't drink wine to much so it shouldn't go to waste.

But that's rather cheeky.

Original poster
Toast3 · 29/03/2016 21:43

Some fab replies.. Thanks!
I guess everyone is different..I will be inviting them again as we're all old friends....no doubt my DH will remind him of what a cheeky sod he was..in true bloke fashion...they seem to mercilessly rip the pi55 out of each other for fun!
I love the BBQ/ cheese story and money for chips! Ffs! Lol

OP posts:
BennyTheBall · 29/03/2016 21:49

That is so tight fisted!

Mind you, we have some friends that usually bring nothing (and say variations on, 'sorry we left the wine on the worktop...' and once brought a bottle of half empty real ale!!

asnmdirteha · 29/03/2016 22:01

That's a little sad, if anything at least they didn't ask for leftovers I guess. Typically when you give a gift to the hostess it is up to the hostess' discretion. Are they close friends or just acquaintances? I would just smile and let them take it back. If it was a really good wine I would've opened it anyways, lol.

Doobigetta · 29/03/2016 22:18

Meh, it's a bit off to ask to take it home again, but if someone did it wouldn't bother me. What really does irk me is when the host whips the nice bottle you've taken round away, never to be seen again, and offers you some lovely Blossom Hill instead.

MirriVan · 29/03/2016 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/03/2016 22:37

Very rude, you don't give a gift and ask for it back!

oldlaundbooth · 30/03/2016 01:20

I remember a friend of mine did this : bring wine and then had the cheek to take it home. We parted ways soon after that, it's so rude. There was other stuff too but that was the final straw.

KoalaDownUnder · 30/03/2016 06:35

That goes beyond cheeky into downright rude, IMO. Shock

MadAbyLady · 30/03/2016 06:46

Do you serve cheap crap wine and they brought a decent bottle they were hoping to actually enjoy with the meal? I hate when hosts serve cheap £5 bottles and purposefully save the good stuff guests bring to drink later.

FiveSixPickUpSticks · 30/03/2016 06:56

Wouldn't bother me tbh.

AppleSetsSail · 30/03/2016 07:02

Huh. I once offered to buy a round in a pub and an American bloke piped up and said he didn't want a drink, but could he have the money for some chips instead? I was so stunned I just handed it over - he popped down the road, bought the chips, and then came back.

Smile cheeky fucker.

OP your husband handled it beautifully, well done to him. I am likewise cringing on your misbehaved guest's behalf.

Original poster
Toast3 · 30/03/2016 08:38

MadAbyLady - No, absolutely not... All the wine was left on the side... Trouble is they started on Chianti and just sought of carried on drinking that throughout the night - the guy in question had brought Rioja... It was there, on the side, all night though if he'd wanted to open it but, he didn't, he happily quaffed the Chianti...

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 30/03/2016 09:05

Wow, cheeky git! If you take wine (or flowers or chocolates) over to a dinner party, that is a gift to the host.

I always offer any bottles that are given to me as a gift for a dinner party to my guests to drink.

Some colleagues and I went out in a group after work one day to a pub and we all agreed (everyone of us) to buy a round each. We had all bought rounds and just before it was the last guys turn to buy a round, he got up and said 'I have to go now, see you later' and left. So he essentially drunk all nigh for free despite promising to buy a round at the start of the night. Cheeky git. As you can imagine his reputation as a freeloader soon got round our place of work Wink

gasman · 30/03/2016 12:33

I only rarely open wine people bring to parties like this as I usually try to match the wine to the food.

No one has ever asked to take wine back!!

RockinHippy · 30/03/2016 12:36

Gawd, my DH would do this & I would slap him round the head for it for been so bloody embarrassing & tight arsedHmm

It's beyond rude YADNBU!

EssentialHummus · 30/03/2016 12:51

I think this kind of things stems from a genuine lack of understanding that the wine etc is a gift, not in the same category as "Can you please bring an extra chair/cutlery?"

I remember a "Things you learnt on MN" thread a while ago where someone mentioned that they used to do this, and just didn't realise it was rude.