AIBU to allow my fussiest child to dictate the family's meal plan?

[LittleNelle]

I just can't deal with the moaning and refusal from my 5yo at every meal time anymore. My parents have been nagging me to just feed him what he'll eat so I have decided to try that.

We went through a meal plan together and he has nominated 14 meals, including vegetables, that he promises he will eat. AIBU to just cook those dinners and nothing else?

YABU to expect a 5 yr old to stick to this but I would be doing the same as you are

Well what are the meals, chicken nuggets and peas, or proper meals?
Is there a good variety? If not can you alter it a bit for everyone else

YABU, but I fully sympathise, my DD is the same.

I gave up forcing and now if she doesn't like what has been cooked then she has cerial, at least it has added vitamins, and now my stress levels are below the roof😊

No, i wouldn't allow that. It's not fair on the rest of the family to eat such a boring and restricted diet

I'd probably do that with a couple of amendments.
My biggest won't eat chunks of meat, so gets baked beans instead. My middle won't eat tomato sauce so gets meatballs with no sauce or pasta with ham and pesto instead of bolognese sauce.
Would that sort of thing work? It depends whether everyone else is happy with the five yr old's choice really.

Doesn't seem particularly fair on the rest of the family. I would use this as a negotiating tool for ie. trying one new food each week or having a very small serving of a food he doesn't like. Otherwise how will his repertoire ever expand.

I was that fussy child. My poor mother. I eat almost anything these days so I'm glad she persisted with feeding me a variety of real foods.

Depends; what are the 14 meals?

It depends if everyone else is happy with those meals.
I have a very selective eater as well but what we tend to do is have variations of a meal so for instance I will give her plain chicken and add a sauce for us. I will also give her small tastes of different things so she gets to see us eat and enjoy other foods and she can try a little but she isn't pressurised into eating a meal of something new.

14 meals isn't a bad thing. Give it a couple of goes and then try reintroducing?

I've done it with the DCs. They now eat a bit more varied thankfully. And none of the meals were too bad as a family.

No I wouldn't allow that because

It's not fair on the rest of the family

It's giving a 5yr old quite a lot of control over the rest of the family

If your child is that fussy, I doubt they'll eat all 14 meals whether they've picked them or not.

I decided meals were not going to be a battle. If they didn't like what was cooked they could have cereal or fruit and yoghurt. It was rare there was two days when dinner was refused anyway. I adjusted menus as they grew up and I was sure dislikes were actual dislikes and not just fussiness. Now about half the meals I cook are things husband and kids like but I don't eat, so it's me eating cereal and fruit now...

Unless the 14 meals are all basically the same, that doesnt' sound that fussy to me!!

I think this is ok in principle bu you need to allow the rest of the family the chance to nominate their favourite meals as well.

It seems A shame that those who eat well have to constantly be the ones missing out.
My sister was fussy and would tantrum so we basically ate pasta till i left home, im thirty and still really resent that her veiws and whims always came first over me snd my other sibs. We still all call her mummys precious princess

The meals are reasonably varied, but quite 'plain'. Things like fish fingers/sausages with mash and veg, roast dinner, pasta pesto/spag bol/macaroni cheese/pasta bake, cottage/fish pie, chicken curry and chicken and rice. Enough of a variety to be healthy and balanced but not exciting.

Vegetables are the most boring, restricted thing - he will eat peas, sweet corn, carrots, green beans (at a push), roast parnsips, sweet potato chips. That's it.

I'd try it it for a month to completely take the pressure off at mealtimes, of course he will need to stick to it though.

Mind you, I have no idea what even I would like to eat in 14 meals time, so I wouldn't trust a 5yr old to know either.

I think we ate the same every week when I was growing up
Sunday roast
Monday - leftovers from the roast
Tuesday - sausages & mash
Wednesday - cottage pie, shepherds pie or fish pie
Thursday - spag bol
Friday - pizza night or fish and chips
Saturday - some sort of tuna pasta

me and 4 siblings turned out fine

Are you on a fucking wind up OP?

What are the consequences for him if he doesn't eat what he agreed to?
We had a household of divergent tastes, so we tended to have a number of dishes and you helped yourself.

Seems like a wide variety of foods that he can eat I don't think that's fussy.

Nope, I wouldn't allow it. But that's because I don't have a fussy-eater stressing me out at mealtimes; it must be bloody hard work. I'd have a mutiny on my hands from DS1 if DS2 (5) was allowed to dictate meals since DS1 hasn't been allowed to.

I guess the consequence if he doesn't eat what's agreed to is that I will give up making things he likes and just cook to suit everyone else instead. The thing is he would rather go hungry that eat something he doesn't like.

Ummm looking at your list he seems to eat most things...

Your fussy eater eats chicken curry?