...to feel a little miffed that DH is out for the day with a female friend

[skinofthericepudding]

My DH told me a few days ago that he'd be out cycling today. and would need the car. I asked a couple of days ago what time he would be back, and he said late afternoon. I happened to ask who he was cycling with (he belongs to a couple of cycling groups) and he said that it was a female friend. He has met her few times for lunch etc and they have been to a local town for the day together for lunch and sight seeing. They used to work together and I have to admit that they probably have more shared interests than we do! I have never met her, but can't help feeling a little put out that he's spending Sunday with her. AIBU?

one situation leads to another... a cycle ride turns into a day of sightseeing, shared hobby translates into lunches and country walks...

No, it doesn't just do that by itself.

Pmsl, this has become really quite amusing!

AnotherOW
"Men are hardwired to think, to want, and to pursue sexual relationship incl outside of marriage. It's their nature. Women are wired differently. It's simple biology."

Your funny

I don't think I am that funny BoneyBack.
But by all means continue to live in your world full of roses, highly moral men who never cheat and where kids always behave, if you prefer.

yougov.co.uk/news/2015/07/31/monogamy/

AnotherOW

What is funny is your exoneration of women, I know as many women as men that have cheated.

But by all means continue to live in your world full of angelic women who never cheat.

badgerCrossing,
Where do you get this idea of ME being immoral? Did you even read my posts?
I was describing experiences / lifestyle choices of my male friends/colleagues.
Never did I say I was in a relationship with a married man either now or in the past.

Is it my screen name that makes you think I am immoral?
Never mind. Evidently being able to understand the irony is not your strong point.

BoneyBack,
I didn't imply women never cheat. In fact I said 'men (and women)' in one of my posts above.
When I was writing about different 'wiring' I was referring to different reasons (incl physiological) why men and women cheat.

But I could have explained myself better, absolutely agree with you and thank you for your observation.

Men and women are equally capable of being unfaithful, but the reasons for cheating are very different as had been proven by extensive research. Women tend to cheat to deal with the feelings of emotional neglect, whereas for men it's almost always the sexual aspect that's the driving force. This is of course generalisation and there are nuances, but overall this is the difference.
In addition, due to the demands of child rearing and financial restrictions that come in absence of earned income during such periods, married women just don't get as many opportunities to conduct extramarital affairs as men do.

So, it's all about being presented with opportunities.

To summarise:
Those who can - do, those who can't (because they are not attractive or clever or brave enough) - don't and then pretend to be highly moral.

Well this escalated quickly . . . !

I personally don't think it's sad. I am not sad about us being human and exhibiting certain traits and sexual behaviour (horror horror) that some posters would find upsetting.

Once we know what we are up against, then we can deal with the problems effectively, by concentrating on improving our relationships and, I can't stress the importance of this enough, trying to avoid those opportunities and situations that are or could become high-risk, and/or setting some ground rules on what's appropriate or not in any given relationship.

Letting DH go out for a whole day with OW is just not clever. I am sorry.
(Unless he is asexual).

another thankyou, i was having a bad day and you have seriously cheered me up

you do have a sad view of men and women, even if you don't believe it.
I've been cheated on before, by ( according to all my friends) an unattractive bloke.
My handsome dh does have morals and has been hit on.
Amazingly he's turned them down just don't know how he did it clearly....
I have never felt insecure with my dh. I know he's able to go out with his female friends and not shag them, just as i'm able to go out with my male friends.
Not naive just know my dh.
I know not all relationships/ people are the sMe, but i know us.
Although i do think your post was purely written to get people arguing, however doesn't seemed to have worked for you.
Too bad.

Anyone seen the OP?

Kali,
May be the ladies weren't attractive enough / wrinkly / drunk / common?
Oh no, I am sure these girls were Victoria Secret models, and your handsome and successful husband met them in an exclusive bar of a plush hotel in, say, Hong Kong, whilst you are asleep in your cosy Surrey mansion?
And he Ordered the cocktails and then they ate Beluga caviar with little silver - oh no sorry, how common of me - mother of pearl petite but oh so delicate spoons!

All washed down with champagne. the bar smells lovely, old leather smell mixed with the hotel's designated scent, by L'Artisan Parfumeur.
Candles are flickering, soft laugh all around, eyes are twinkling.
One of the girls offers to go upstairs to DH's room as she'd love to see his collection of ties / whatever.
DH knows noone would find out. The girl thinks she could probably give him the BJ of his life and then the next day he'd take her out or something and eventually they'll happily live ever after.
He knows it's 1 night and it's free, sort of. Dear wife is far away and she'd be non the wiser. What one doesn't know...

Happens A LOT.

I travel abroad with male colleagues.
They don't like me going to bars with them at night. Apparently I cramp their style - other women rarely approach if there is already a woman at the table.

Again, only speaking of what I see.

Of course, school teacher or a postman just doesn't get opportunities to travel, to spend evenings unchecked, in a different time zone and when no consequences are likely.

So it's all about the opportunities!

Wrinkly drunk and common. Stop now it's too funny.

I have reported several posts for personal attacks on OW. She is entitled to express her point of view without being called amoral etc.

Is calling somebody amoral a personal attack ?

Not seeing too many deletions, any road. Just a lot of goady fuckery. HQ is not too keen on that either.

Agree AF.

Arf

At all, at all

Well, let's have a nice cuppa sweet tea then

Ah, ye can't resist, Mary dear < adjusts pinny >